Stupid verdicts. There are a lot of idiots in the world. Maybe it is time to stop rewarding them for it. Outrageous recent court cases.

1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000.00 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amuck inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving type was Ms. Robertson's son.

2. June 1998: A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000.00 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran his hand over with a Honda Accord. Mr.. Truman apparently didn't notice someone was at the wheel of the car whose hubcap he was trying to steal.

3. October 1998: A Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was exiting a house he finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up, the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, so Mr.. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. This upset Mr.. Dickson, so he sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars and change.

4. October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500.00 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in it's owner's fenced in yard, as was Mr.. Williams. The award was less than sought after because the jury felt the dog may have been provoked by Mr.. Williams who, at the time, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

5. May 2000: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster Pennsylvania $113,500.00 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

6. December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the lady's room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000.00 and dental expenses.

7. And just so you know that cooler heads do occasionally prevail: Kenmore Inc., the makers of Dorothy Johnson's microwave, were found not liable for the death of Mrs.. Johnson's poodle after she gave it a bath and attempted to dry it by putting the poor creature in her microwave for, "just a few minutes, on low," The case was quickly dismissed.

My only question is, what are the monthly premiums on idiot insurance?

-- Doreen (animalwaitress@yahoo.com), March 05, 2002

Answers

IMHO the dumbest awards ever given were the tobacco awards . How can anyone honestly tell a jury that they did not know that smoking was bad for them? It has been on the packages since the 60's. Forty years and nobody still knows it is harmful. I guess maybe they can't read either, so what do we do?

Talk to you later.

-- Bob in WI (bjwick@hotmail.com), March 05, 2002.

Insurance = a guarantee that the sun will come up tommorow or at least you can buy a heatlamp. I have never agreed with any kind of insurance although I do have some. My research on the topic dates back to good ole Ben Franklin, one of the Founding Criminals. Either you bought his "Fire Protection" or your house mysteriously caught fire and he fiddled as it burnt. Imho, the world would be a better place without insurance and your savings would grow at a 400.00 per month increase. I won't say kill the next insurance agent you meet but you should treat them all as if they had a communicable disease. As for the jurys that handed down the above decisions--FIRE AT WILL !

-- Joel Rosen (JoelnBecky@webtv.net), March 05, 2002.

And you folks think you can take back our country from the government? You're going to have to take it away from the idiots first!

-- Laura (Ladybugwrangler@hotmail.com), March 05, 2002.