I'm not sure how the men on this forum will like some of these, but I thought they were "cute"!!
I sure hope they didn't print here all "jumbled up" together.

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Quotations from women about women . . . . . . .

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. -Helen Hayes (at 73)

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. -Janette Barber-

Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone. -Jan King-

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. -Lily Tomlin-

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. -Carrie Snow-

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. -Erma Bombeck-

Old age ain't no place for sissies. -Bette Davis-

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't -Rhonda Hansome-

The phrase "working mother" is redundant. -Jane Sellman-

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. -Jennifer Unlimited-

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. -Charlotte Whitton-

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. -Caryn Leschen-

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. -Jennifer Unlimited-

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. -Catherine Aird-

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow! -Kathy Buckley-

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb . . and I'm also not blonde. -Dolly Parton-

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -Erica Jong-

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. -Sue Grafton-

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr-

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. They invade another country. -Elayne Boosler-

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson-

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man--if you want anything done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher-

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -Gloria Steinem-

I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night. -Marie Corelli-

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck? -Linda Ellerbee-

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor-

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. -Eleanor Roosevelt-

-- Anonymous, March 12, 2002

Answers

Yup...they did! Sorry about that. I didn't know how to keep them in list form :-(!!

-- Anonymous, March 12, 2002

OH MY GOD THE PAIN!!!!!! ....Kirk

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2002

Sorry to have caused you this "pain", Kirk. But I'm sure that none of these male-oriented quotes refer to you!! So please don't take them personally. I'm thinking that for some men, though...reality bites :-)!!

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2002

After I got rid of my ex, I found my two dogs and one cat did all she did during our last two years together.... make me laugh once in a while, cost me a fortune at the doctor, demand that dinner be ready by 6:00 and spend all day in my bed. On the up side, the dogs don't snore as much as she did and spend more quality time with me and the cat does a better neck massage when he pads his claws while I'm watching the news. :>)

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2002

KIRK,

A pet eases the pain nicely. As my granddaddie told me once " A man can make a dog his friend, make whiskey his friend, make money his friend or make a woman his friend. If he makes the wrong woman his friend, he'll find himself broke and drunk, talkin' to his dog about what the woman did to him." :>)

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2002

I fixed it, Marcia. That one by Elayne Boosler doesn't make any sense. Is it supposed to be something like, "When men get depressed, they invade another country"?

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2002

My oh my. Rough place for a man in *this* thread! Here I am with a bum knee too. Reckon I'd better talk sweet since I can't outrun these women.

"Our mistake wasn't in letting women have the vote or teaching them to read. Our mistake was in teaching them how to talk!" - Anonymous. ; )

.........Alan.

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2002

Thanks, Joy! One of these days I'll take the time to learn more about this webtv and how to do some things!! Elayne Boosier's quote kinda confused me too, but I just copied it as I read them :-)!

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2002

My fave is still Dorothy Parker "You can lead a whore to the library but you can't make her think". Thats the one that got me in trouble over in CF but its still my fave and hits a nail right on the head from time to time. I like some of yours too Marcia.

-- Anonymous, March 17, 2002

"Our mistake wasn't in letting women have the vote or teaching them to read. Our mistake was in teaching them how to talk!" - Anonymous

HA! Does anyone REALLY think that language was invented by anyone OTHER THAN WOMEN? I mean, come on, who uses it the most (women!)? Who still hasn't really mastered speaking and mostly communicates with grunts and mumbles (men!)?

-- Anonymous, March 18, 2002

I think, Joy, that there maybe a man or two out there who might agree with the fact that women do use language the most...in the form of gossiping and just plain gabbing about nothing! I do believe I've met some of these women occasionally :-)!! But there certainly is alot of "hot air" floating around when you get a bunch of guys together, also! Add the mumbles and grunts to the hot air...along with other "certain" bodily noises (and some spitting thrown in!)...well, sure makes for interestng "conversation"!! Of course, NONE of the above apply to any of the men on this forum :-)!

-- Anonymous, March 18, 2002