Women want to know how much are goverment cares about us ?

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As some of you know I am in my mid {ouch} 30's and have Lupus.I was lucky that with cutting corners I was able to stay home and raise our children.Oldest is now 19 youngest is 2 .I worked part time here and there but nothing to steady .My plan was to start school when the baby was just a little older .Who ever thought I would come down with this disease ? Not me ! Well I am now not able to stay on my feet any long length of time ,I have brain fog , joint pain ,back pain and probally 50 other things .Well I start looking into disabilty in case things don't get better .Well to my surprise I am intitled to a whopping big old nothing !!!! I stayed home and did the hardest , most thankless job on the face of the earth.My goverment I guess doesn't think it's important for us to stay home with our children .

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), March 25, 2002

Answers

The same thing happened to my mom. She started homeschooling when I was 9 yrs. (I'm the oldest) after she had a tumor removed from her spinal cord. She had to have a second (much more agressive) surgery 7 years later because the tumor grew back, and now has rods and screws holding her back together. Since she homeschooled us and never had a job since she's not entitled to any disability even though she can't stand or sit for more than 2-3 hours and is on a weight lifting restrictment of 10-15 lbs. She couldn't even get a temporary disabled vehicle sticker once she started to drive again after the surgery. What a crock.

-- malinda (teneniel_80@yahoo.com), March 25, 2002.

You should certainly be eligible for SSI if you are unable to work. From what I have been told, it is pretty routine to get turned down the first time and have to appeal. Find someone in your area that helps people with the Social Security Administration.

-- beckie (none@this.time), March 25, 2002.

I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles..The gov't doesn't consider it work unless they get part of the check!!! I have been sent the letter stating that I haven't got enough credits to receive SS when I'm retirement age. Which I'm not worried about anyway...But your job is far from thankless.....

-- Suzanne (weir@frontiernet.net), March 25, 2002.

Yup! I'm 44 and I've been a full time stay at home mom for 15 years. Every 6 months, Social Security Administration sends me a reminder that unless I "work" another 5 years, I'll get diddly squat. It seems a bunch of those government jobs I had didn't collect SS out of my checks.

What I can't figure out is how come those brain damaged druggies who never worked an honest day in their life get a check for their self induced disabilities?

Do you think declaring our children, homeschool and homemaking a homebased business, paying SS on our monthly household budget for the next 5 years would qualify me?

Nope. The government does not value the traditional family. In fact they hate us full time moms because we stand in the way of them taking full possession of our kids. The government will not reward us for that, but God will.

---Motherhood is its own reward--- (okay, I will go back to Freedom, Self Reliance now)

-- Laura (LadybugWrangler@somewhere.com), March 25, 2002.


SSI i cannot get because Hubby makes to much according to them. The dollar amount that they give is next to nothing anyways . I to do not have enough credits for ss either .Funny they never taught that in school.

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), March 25, 2002.


Ooops oldest is 16 , I made it sound like i had her when I was 10 hehehe.

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), March 25, 2002.

I hate to say this, Patty, but you might want to see about talking to a lawyer who specializes in disability.

And Laura, the problem with say fed goverment jobs is that until '85? or so, they had their own retirement system (Civil Service Retirement System, or CSRS). After that, they went to the Federal Employee Retirement System, or FERS), which is now part SS and a part IRA. I know a lot of people who fall into your category--there should be a law passed which allows you to take that money and switch it to SS.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), March 25, 2002.


Seems like your husband has been supporting the family for all this time, so what has changed? Social Security is a program to pay into so you can get something out. It's not free. Your husband will continue doing his job I'm sure.

-- Dennis (Dinrodd@yahoo.com), March 25, 2002.

The point is I stayed home to raise my childen properly and not pawn them off on someone else.Nothing against anyone who doesn't. If you think being a stay at home mom is not work you are nuts ! Where would I be if my husband decided to leave ? I had plans to have a career after raising childen .I do not think anyone plans to develop a life altering disease .

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), March 25, 2002.

Gee....cheer up! ;-) If your husband leaves you, you can get SSI because you are poor. Here in Vermont it is $604/month for SSI. It varies state to state. If you have kids, SSI does not pay for them, they have to go on welfare.

Also....just because you have lupus does not mean you will meet the disability requirements. Been there, done that.

The way the US laws are written....a man is responsible for the monetary needs of his wife and children. That's why some couples end up getting divorced. If a partner has a serious illness, the only way for an adult to qualify for Medicaid health insurance is to get very poor and needy.

-- Peace and Carrots Farm (wsm311@aol.com), March 25, 2002.



Patty my daughte has lupus and had to get a lawyer to get ss but had to use something besides lupus and i dont know what get you a lawyer they can only get paid a % of what your firs check is good luck shes had it for 26 years. Bob se,ks.

-- Bobco (bobco@kans.com), March 25, 2002.

Boy $640.00 a month is alot !! How the heck can you live on that .Don't say just because you have lupus ,if you got any idea about the disease you usually don't have just Lupus but multiple imune disorders.Kinda hard to keep a job when one day its hard to walk , next day sit , your to tired to stay awake ,can't feel your fingers or toes,maybe organ failure would be enough ? How about sorry boss don't know what I did with the extra 10 gee's , brain fog today .Don't worry I'll find it in a day or two .Bet he would never fire you .

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), March 25, 2002.

http://www.watercure.com/books4.htm

-- steve (mrspam@nospam.com), March 25, 2002.

The watercure website mentioned used to post the "cure" itself, which is to drink half of your body weight in ounces of water (i.e. if you weigh 150 drink 75 oz. of water per day). It also mentions adding a little pure sea salt, but unless you are already following a sodium- restricted diet, you're probably getting enough sodium in the foods you eat. It claims to cure autoimmune diseases (I don't know about the efficacy of that), but it does make a lot of difference as far as dry skin, weight loss, etc. It won't cost you much to try it, at any rate.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), March 25, 2002.

Ladies,

You are no the only ones that the government "forgot" about. I have become physically disabled and get SS disability, not an easy task. The amount I get is quite low due to the fact that although I worked for almost 30 years my wages were low because we had a homestead and did without, and did our own food raising etc. It seems that because we did everything we could for ourselves we are now getting punished. I always assumed it was much better to stay home and take care of yourself, rather than work for someone else in town. WRONGO!!!

I understand that you get SS money based on what you have paid in, but homesteading in general is kind of like being a stay at home mom. Either way we get little or nothing for all our work. I wish I had known some of this years ago. I may have changed my lifestyle somewhat and worked out a little more, just in case.

Talk to you later.

-- Bob in WI (bjwick@hotmail.com), March 25, 2002.



www.watercure2.com has the info without needing to buy anything. On the left hand side, is the water cure "recipe" which talks about the salt.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), March 25, 2002.

I am sorry to hear of your illness. You do need to have worked at least half of the years you were eligible for work in order to receive disability benefits. SSDI is not really an assistance program that everyone is eligible for. It is considered disability "insurance", that one must pay into in order to be eligible.

SSDI is also usually difficult to get if you are under 50 years of age, because from what I understand once you begin to receive disability benefits, they expect that you are unlikely to return to the workforce during your lifespan.

Also, it does make some sense that you are not entitled to receive income when your family was not dependent upon your income prior to your illness.

For example, I have a friend who became ill and applied for SSDI benefits. She had been a SAHM during her entire 12 year marriage, and had not ever worked except for a period of six months when she was a teenager. During this time, her husband supported her and four children with his income alone. Thus, her family was not dependent upon any income she brought into the home, and realistically, did not deserve to receive an extra $500 a month income simply because she had fallen ill.

Or - basically, her illness did not prevent her from doing what she had been doing for the past 12 years - staying home. I'm not trying to say that staying home and raising children is an easy job, nor is it one that goes unaffected by illness - but from a practical viewpoint, the purpose of SSDI is insurance for people whose families and themselves were dependent upon their income and are now unable to work for monetary gain.

You don't mention how you managed to survive financially during the years you were raising your children, but if your household income is low, you should be eligible for SSI, or supplemental security income. You can get this whether you have work credits or not. It will not be as much as SSDI, but it may be of some help. If you are eligible for even $10 a month, don't feel discouraged, since you will also be eligible to get Medicare, and I imagine you need all the medical insurance you can get right now.

Be persistent. Many times, I have found that the people who work in government offices are not the most helpful. If you must, talk to a lawyer or a Social Security Advocate. If nothing else, they can help point you in the right direction towards getting the help you need.

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer several years ago, I was told that he was not eligible for SSDI because although he had worked every day of his life, he had not been ill for the minimum of 12 months you need to receive benefits. What they did not tell me is that he would have been eligible for SSI benefits - all things I learned too late.

Good luck,

-- bantling (not@this.time), March 25, 2002.


When someone becomes ill your monthly expenses usually increase.Co payments for prescriptions,doctor visits,ect.I have to travel 2 hours each way to my doctors , not by choice but because he is the closest specialist to me .This also means daycare fo the baby as she would not be able to come along .Some days my husband has to come home early because of my health, that means less money because he had to take time off.

How did we survive before I was ill .Well Hubby worked alot of ot because I could handle things at home .I cooked from scratched , sewed,canned or froze from a big garden , raised are own meat .Thats for starters .The list can continue.

I have no college education , that was my plan to attend when the childen where old enough.I did all I could at home , hubby worked and went to school to futher himself.Our system allows me to collect off of his ss at retirement age why not disability ?

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), March 26, 2002.


I wish I ubderstood better how some folks without hardly trying get 'care' they don't need? I knew a single Dad that got some sort of 'can't work wellfare' because his preteen daughters were terribly unruly, he was often called away from work to take care of things, causing such workplace disruptions that no job lasted long, then new ones wouldn't hire him either when his resume got to long. So, if I be a crappy mom with horrid children, will somebody pay me to stay home please! Sheesh! Then good honest folks can't get a leg up!

-- Novina in ND (homespun@stellarnet.com), March 26, 2002.

**When someone becomes ill your monthly expenses usually increase**

Exactly!!! I started off with a diagnosis of lupus, then mixed connective tissue disease. I now have congestive heart failure with pulmonary edema and a zillion other health problems. It doesn't matter....I get the standard $604/month SSI. Now that I am on oxygen, my electric bills have more than doubled from using an oxygen concentrator. The co-pay on my medicine is only $3, but that comes to $48/month. I also need several over the counter meds my doc told me to take. That's another $31/month. By the time I pay my fixed expenses there is NO money left over for "extras" like food, clothes, gas for the car, etc. I'd love to see a politician live on what I do!!!

Luckily I paid off my mortgage last October....but my property taxes are over $1000/year.

-- Peace and Carrots Farm, Vermont (wsm311@aol.com), March 26, 2002.


I swea if you get sick you should get divorced ,take everything but bills out of your name .That way you can get everything you need.

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), March 26, 2002.

**I swear if you get sick you should get divorced ,take everything but bills out of your name. That way you can get everything you need.**

Huh? Where do you get that from? How do you get everything you need? I want to sign up ;-)

-- Peace and Carrots Farm, Vermont (wsm311@aol.com), March 26, 2002.


If you dont own anything you can get all types of help especially if you cant work welfare,medicad,food stamps you name it .If you own your home they want to put a lean on it or they tell you to sell it.

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), March 26, 2002.

**If you dont own anything you can get all types of help especially if you cant work welfare,medicad,food stamps you name it .If you own your home they want to put a lean on it or they tell you to sell it.**

That's not true. I am not eligible for all that because at $604/month, I am too rich ;-) People have a warped idea about how much money poor people can get and about the eligibility requirements. Welfare only pays about $400/month for a mom and kid....and that's in Vermont. A lot of other states pay way less.

I am eligible for something like $10/month food stamps, but declined because it's too much paperwork and hassle for that amount. The one thing I DO get is Medicaid. I'd be dead without it. If you are eligible for SSI, you are eligible for Medicaid. My doc and hospital costs run between $10,000 and $100,000 per year.

I own my own home and there is not a lien on it, nor does anybody want me to sell it. Where do you get these ideas?

-- Peace and Carrots Farm (wsm311@aol.com), March 27, 2002.


Well maybe you just live in a great state.In Ct I know of a mother with 1 child who has been on welfare for 9 or more years .She owns nothing car,house,ect. Her rent is paid she gets food stamps and a monthly check , all medical is paid .I live in NY my husband was out of work fo 7 months . I tried to get help, yes we could get medical {me and kids} anything else they wanted to put a lein on my house .Thats where I get that information from.Just because it's one way in your state don't think its that way every where.

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), March 27, 2002.

http://www.dss.state.ct.us/dss.htm

Here's where to find programs and their guidelines in your state. There's quite a bit of help in CT.

I'd like to go back to your original post. If your husband is employed and you are covered by his insurance, it sounds like you have it made. You and your children are well taken care of and doing alright.

Are you just mad that you can't get welfare or disability? Those programs pay a pittance and have a million hoops to jump through. The folks on it wish they weren't!!

Do you NEED anything? Are you getting adequate medical care? I took my baby to every doc appointment....no way could I afford a sitter. If there's something you feel you need and are not getting, let us know and folks will help you dig up the appropriate info.

Perhaps you are in a phase where you are very angry about being disabled. Been there, done that. You can get help from community action agencies... http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/ocs/csbg/documents/ct-caa.htm

there are also independent living centers... http://www.biact.org/ilc.html

Those two options are not governmental. I also went to Voc-Rehab and got help. I started my CSA farm after I was declared officially disabled. After 12 years, I'm too sick to do that any more.

Not only do I have lupus, but a bunch of other things wrong. Right now the congestive heart failure is really bad. These are me yesterday. Luckily I look better today ;-) http://www.homestead.com/peaceandcarrots/ScaryWendy.html

-- Peace and Carrots Farm (wsm311@aol.com), March 27, 2002.


Oh....boogers!! I went and looked up CT and not NY.

NY rules... http://www.otda.state.ny.us/tanf/sneed.rtf

Independent Living http://www.nysilc.org/directory.htm

Disability law http://www.law.cornell.edu/topics/disability.html

...for answers to your questions about programs, services and supports for individuals with disabilities and their families. http://www.advoc4disabled.state.ny.us/

-- Peace and Carrots Farm (wsm311@aol.com), March 27, 2002.


Thats it I'm mad cause I cannot get welfare ! Caught me .As for people on it wanting to be off , well thats a joke .The ones who want to get off will .Most states offer job training .Get real I am mader than hell that our goverment puts no worth on the job of being a mother and raising OUR countrys future leaders.I stayed home to to the best job I could to aise well adjusted , caring , smart children .My husband worked and still does many long hours to make ends meet .Yes these are hours I could have worked somewhere .But the children came first , I stayed home to raise them properly.Our govement will give me half of his SS benifits, why not disability ? Marriage is a partnership ,just happens he gets the paper check .What I do he could not afford to pay someone for .Yes Hubby has a job with insurance but the co pays are killing us .Glad you brought your daughter to every appointment.I do not think its fair to her to travel 2 hours each way and then be told to sit and be quiet .I am usually in the waiting room for 2 hours before I even see the doctor .Not much fun for a 2 year old. I started this thread to let woman know what our govement thinks of us , not to debate you .You don't have to agee or disagree with me .I think it sucks , i think it is unfair .We give billions away each year to other countries but will not take care of are own .Not just me , how about the elderly . Our system is wrong , it does not help woman .It was set up by men.If Lupus was a male disease you better bet you pants there would be more money fo research , and every step would not be such a fight.

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), March 27, 2002.

You are coming across as a real victim. I have been trying to find out what horrible things you have had to endure because you can not get disability. I bet before you got sick, you never gave disabled folks a second thought.....as is true with most people.

Once you are disabled, a system like Canada or Europe starts to sound very good. There folks get national healthcare and family allowances as a monetary base.

I gave you places to ask for help if you need it. There is nothing fair about life. Most people have all sorts of mental and physical challenges. You have more money to live on than most disabled folks, so what's the problem?

This topic is a passion of mine since I have been disabled longer than not. We all make choices. My choices helped me to homeschool my daughter, build a home and homestead and live a life as close to my ideal as possible. I was a single parent, I finished college, etc.

Given the choice, I'd prefer to be able-bodied. I already clinically died twice and have been hospitalized for months of my life. Things were not given to me. I had to give up working at a regular job when I had been hauled off by the ambulance half a dozen times from work.

Lupus and other diseases suck! No doubt. It's not our fault for having it.....but how we go on from there is in our hands.

I understand that you feel deprived of something, but I still can't figure out what. You chose to be a SAHM. That's a good choice ;-) But with it come both joys and sacrifices. I will never regret unschooling my daughter and all the juggling I had to do to make everything possible. Even though it is not enough, I am very grateful for my whopping $604/month. By being extremely frugal and doing as much as my body could be asked to do, I've come a long way.

If you stop being mad and move forward, you can still lead a happy and productive life.

-- Peace and Carrots Farm, Vermont (wsm311@aol.com), March 27, 2002.


I have this friend who is a CEO of a large national company. He is a millionaire sevral times over. His net annual income is in the 7 digits. The poor fellow's wife is in a wheel chair. She has never worked except as a teenager. She has raised four fine children. She deserves to get disability payments too....right PAtty?

-- Cabin Fever (cabinfever_mn@yahoo.com), March 27, 2002.

Cabin Fever , I think there is a big difference between someone making 7 didgits and an electricians salary , or else maybe hubby is working fo the wrong plant .Take into consideration I have 4 scripts that have 30.00 copays a month not to mention the 10.00 ones.I really wish some of you never have to face the emotional and financial strress of a life theatening disease.Cause if you do I think most will think differently.Would you feel the same if it was your wife, daughter or sister ?

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), March 27, 2002.

Patty, my heart goes out to you and yours...please believe that. You and other SAHM's are my heros and I respect all of you for makin ghti simportant decision and sacrifice. You, and family such as yours, are the backbone of our country.

The point I was trying to make is that you look at the family in my fictious example the SAME WAY that the government looks at your situation. You beleived that the family in my example was rich enough NOT to need any type of hand out from the government. Likewise, the government evidently believes that your family income is sufficient. In othe rwords, the government thinks that you are "rich." Now I know you don't feel rich in an economic sense, but the government believes you are. In situation like these the goverment looks at "family income," not personal income when they determine need. Some people call this the "marriage penalty."

Hope this makes sense, I was not trying to off-end you, I was just trying to get you to see your situation from a different perspective. Also, I am not defending the government's policies. I pray that your physical condition improves.

-- Cabin Fever (Cabinfever_MN@yahoo.com), March 27, 2002.

I have to admit it, I have read this thread in it's entirety THREE TIMES and still don't understand what this has to do with our government caring about us as women or stay at home moms. Lupus is a difficult disease to deal with but in my personal experience of living with it for over 15 years I find that mental outlook plays a far greater role in my disease than medication or any thing else. When I left a very stressful job because if was so adversely affecting my health and mental outlook it never occured to me that my government (meaning all of you) was suppose to support me. I completely altered my standard of living and did with what I had.

I am greatful that people who don't pay in to the SS fund can not draw it easily. I was forced to pay in to it for almost 40 years and I want it to be there when I reach retirement age.

-- diane (gardiacaprines@yahoo.com), March 27, 2002.


Dianne,I am glad you can deal so well with it .Then you know no 2 lupus patients have the same symptoms .You usually don't have just 1 problem but multipe problems.I have worked and paid into the system .I worked full time until I had my children then part time from time to time.It amazes me that no one takes being a mom as a job .Yes there is no paper pay check .My husband worked plenty of extra hours and has paid in more than I would ever had if I kept working .We are entitled to ss at retirement age but if we get sick young we cannot get anything.I tried to go back to work because money was getting tight.With 2 teenagers and my medical bills and 2 other childen.I was able to work 6 months before my doctor told me to stop. as far as one comment about me proberly never looking twice at a disabled person is bull.Not only did I work with the disabled my father has ms.So please do not assume things.No I am not mad that I cannot get welfare , I am mad at the way the system is.There are plenty of able bodied people woking the system just fine.If I had my way I would never have gotten sick and would be working part time now.For some reason most have no problem sending billions over seas , but have a problem helping out persons in need in are own country.And once again woman staying home to raise well adjusted adults is not counted.Its not a real job you don't get a crappy piece of paper every week.

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@hotmail.com), March 27, 2002.

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