We have an abusive teacher at the school I work at. Shes struck my son on Thursday and I am trying to keep from killing her now. I wrote this letter to the superintendent. Please read this guys and tell me what you think.

Dear Mr. Ferguson, April 12, 2002

I am writing to you concerning a serious situation involving my son and the first grade teacher in Napakiak, Julia Ayagalria. My son disclosed to my husband and I Thursday evening that his teacher had slapped his hand and the hand of his classmate hard earlier that morning. We immediately became concerned and questioned him further. He told us his classmate and him were bickering over a toy and the teacher proceeded to slap both of their hands hard and then removed the toy. He then slapped my hand to demonstrate the force of the blow and I can tell you it was not a light tap. It was sharp and it stung.

As a certified teacher, I know that any physical action against a child is completely intolerable and inappropriate. As a parent, I know that Mrs. Ayagalria had absolutely no right to put her hands on my son. That is considered assault and will absolutely not be tolerated. Both my husband and I agreed to speak with the principal regarding this matter. We spoke with Mr. Kokes and explained the situation to him and stated we did not want our children to continue going to her class. Mr. Kokes became extremely defensive and excused Mrs. Ayagalria’s behavior away. He stated she was frustrated, she had an "unruly bunch". A heated discussion followed where I told him too many people have reported her to have this swept under the rug. His response was each time he asked her about the assaults, she denied it. My response was how many people would it take to complain before he would do something about this. He then called Mrs. Ayagalria into the office and we spoke with her. She denied the assault. We told her and Mr. Kokes we unequivocally believe our son and stand behind him. When we stated our request was to have our children removed from her classroom she said fine and then went so far as to say that an aide in the classroom did not like working with our son anyway.

To our knowledge there has been no disciplinary action taken against Mrs. Ayaglaria. Please be aware we are by far not the first to complain about her behavior. As an ESL teacher, I had gone to Mr. Kokes when I witnessed her hit a little girl in head with a book. The kindergarten teacher spoke with Mr. Kokes after having seen Mrs. Ayagalria physically shake a student. She also reported seeing her pinch a child. The mother of the pinched child also reported the incident and others she had witnessed. Other staff members had voiced concerns to me regarding the abusive nature of Mrs. Ayagalria and I would in turn report them to my supervisor. Children have complained about being struck by their teacher to their parents. They have said they have been scratched, hit with a wooden stick against their heads, and have had their heads pushed. Parents have called the school complaining that their children did not want to attend because their teacher screamed at them. (Anyone who has worked at the elementary end of the school can attest to that.) Twice in the course of a student disclosing physical abuse in the home brought up the fact that his teacher hits him too. I reported both incidents to DFYS who in turn notified the state troopers. I personally know of 5 specific people who have attempted to address their concerns of this teacher’s abusive behavior to Mr. Kokes. It appears each time it has been dismissed, never going beyond speaking with her.

As parents, my husband and I feel it is our duty to see this pattern of abuse end now. Too many children have been harmed at this woman’s hands. We want the district to take a stand against abuse in the classroom and for it to send a message heard by all employed by LKSD. Our children will not be returning to Mrs. Ayagalria’s classroom this year or any other. We want action taken against Mrs. Ayagalria to prevent further incidents. We thank you for your time and prompt attention to this matter.

-- Najia (najia274@yahoo.com), April 13, 2002

Answers

Unfortunately it can be a case of blackmail when a principal turns a deaf ear and eye. This happened at the school I taught at in NC a few yrs ago. The principal and the teacher before me had a relationship so she had him over the barrel. I do agree that it needs to stop and a message sent. Do you teach in the same district?

I do know from my school board member days and now teaching, as you well know, that if it "Aint documented" then you can't do anything. I Belive this is coporal punishement and she can get sued. I wish you well, Good luck.

-- Bernice (geminigoats@yahoo.com), April 13, 2002.

You don't just write a letter to the super, you write letters to all school board members threating to sue if something isn't done right now. You call childrens protective services and the police right then and there! If someone came into your home and hit your child what would you do? School is no different. I would also take my child out of the class immediatly.

After having said that perhaps she is overworked with way to many children in her classroom. A slap on the hand isn't that big of a deal to me, and I would have talked to her in person. I still would have taken my child out of a classroom with a teacher who is so over taxed she can't control herself, I also would have made it my business to tell all my friends about this incident also. I spent a great deal of time in the classroom when my children were younger, your children get a much better education when you are dealing with their teachers one on one. They also appreciate all the "grung" work that you do for them :) Funny how to a man helping in the classroom would be grung work, with Mom's it probably discribes 99% of the crap we do! Vicki

-- Vicki McGaugh TX (Nubians) (vickilonesomedoe@hotmail.com), April 13, 2002.

Where are the other parents of the victimized children? Ya'll need to stand together for a, pardon the pun, class action.

-- Laura S. (LadybugWrangler@somewhere.com), April 13, 2002.

Have you spoken to your child about his actions, and that they are not tolerated either?

I understand your concern about the teacher, but I hope you were also concerned about your child's behavior and are addressing that at the same time - making a fedral case of the teacher and not confronting his behavior will teach him he can get away with murder if he can just find a scapegoat for his actions.

--->Paul

-- paul (ramblerplm@hotmail.com), April 13, 2002.

Maybe she shouldn't have smacked your kid on the hand. But maybe your child and his friend shouldn't have been so unruly as to drive the teacher to that point. Did you punish him further for being a little monster and disrupting class, or did you just go off on some tirade about how "nobody lays a hand on my kid". I hope you're not discussing any of this in the presence of your child, lest he get the message that he can do anything he wants and get away with it 'cuz Mommy and Daddy will come to the rescue if his litle psyche is bruised in any way. I honestly don't think that any serious lasting harm will come to your child because of this incident, do you?

As for the teacher, it sounds like she is frustrated and burned out. Didn't you just recently complain about the school system/area where you teach as being isolated and about driving you nuts? I'm not saying what she did was right, and you do have a right to protest her behavior, but try to imagine yourself in her shoes for a few weeks of classes. Also, have you thought about what type of disciplinary action is appropriate? Do you want her fired or do you simply wish for an apology and perhaps some sort of anger management class, or something in-between? You may get further in your complaint if you make constructive suggestions rather than angry blanket statements.

-- shakeytails in KY (shakeytails@yahoo.com), April 13, 2002.

Why didn't/don't you file assault charges? I would call the state police, not the locals, and get her for assault. Also, as someone else mentioned, have you contacted the other parents that have a stake in this?

-- Mike (uyk7@hotmail.com), April 13, 2002.

Slapping a misbehaving six year old's hand is not abuse. Calling it abuse makes your letter come across as shrill and unreasonable.

Calling the state police to file assault charges would be wildly overreacting. They have actual crimes to deal with.

-- Scott McAlpine (scottmcalpine@juno.com), April 13, 2002.

While slapping hands is not a dangerous thing, hitting a child in the head with a book, pinching, and shaking ARE. These are physical assaults and a pattern of abusive behavior. All of the parents involved should file charges together. Get the local news people in there if you can. The next letter to the super should be on attorney letterhead. Sue them. That always gets their attention.

We had a teacher busted and suspended for putting her hands around a child's throat while she was mad -- the child wasn't hurt, but for heaven's sake a teacher ought to know better.

-- helen (lotsa@kids.here), April 13, 2002.

While teaching daycare 3 year olds, the teacher was frustrated with a particular child who repeatedly put his hands in the pudding the group was making. The teacher was an old fashined gal, After about the zillionanth time of saying no, removing him from the group, moving him to the other end of the table etc. she reached out and smacked the offending hand without thought. She instantly realized her mistake, apologized and told the parent right then (in the middle of the day, not waiting till they came later). They talked and all ended fine.

People make mistakes and a slap on the hand on it's own may not be huge by itself.

HOWEVER! It is NEVER okay for a teacher to lay a hand on a child! And a teacher who routinely hits kids, blames the "unrulys" for it, and a school that blows it off is a huge problem!!!

I agree that one incident I would have just came and talked with her. And that's probably what each parent thought so they tried not to get to crazy about it. But where you are in a position to see the pattern, to know that this isn't a one time thing, you owe to all the children of that school to do something! The parents should know that it wasn't just their kid! Aand the school should do something to stop her! At the very least she be iin a class and on probation. If she can't control herself she shouldn't be a teacher! Period.

-- Novina in ND (homespun@stellarnet.com), April 13, 2002.

I'm a teacher and she needs to go. I agree w/ getting in touch w/school board members also if you have a newspaper, send a letter there about what is happening. That usually gets some quick attention.

-- DW (djwallace@sotc.net), April 13, 2002.

HeHe This is a tough one. First of all corporol(sp) punishment is not ILLEGAL, but most likely against school policy. Most people don't know that. Another point is that in order to fire a tenured teacher you must first as a division,by law,try to rehabilitate", or instruct the teacher to become a more effective teacher. I worked with a teacher who had similar behaviors, and the school division now made him assistant principal. I was a child advocate and spoke out against him, many times to know avail. It is frustrating, but in all honesty, if it happened to my kid, I would let my rather large husband "talk" outside of school. LOL But, seriously, it is, and I repeat, hard to fire a teacher. You can as a parent remove him from the room. It won't fix the problem, but your kid will be safe.

-- julie (jbritt@ceva.net), April 13, 2002.

If it was just the slap on the hand, I'd be less concerned. I absolutely would not tolerate a teacher who screamed at the children, or swatted their heads in any way. It is the pattern that is worrisome.

-- mary (mlg@mlg.com), April 13, 2002.

I would definitely start by contacting all the other parents of that class, arrange a meeting, try to get information on specific incidents and the pattern of behaviour. Then have the group DEMAND to see the school board. It's obvious you'll have to go beyond the principal in this case. If the school board won't take action, then it will be time to seek out the legal beagles.

As people stated earlier, a mere smack in the hand isn't so much the problem, it's the pattern, especially the pinching. That shows malice.

Chelsea

-- Chelsea (rmbehr@istar.ca), April 13, 2002.

You asked for an opinion but I doubt you will appreciate mine. You have posted at least three times concerning percieved problems in your school community. Living in a village in a remote area as you do requires a certain talent in getting along with the rest of the community. I would suggest you do not have that necessary talent. In fact it sounds as though you are one of those that continually stirs the pot. I have spent a good part of my life living in the bush villages. One thing I observed was that folks with your attitude were generally at the base of most of the problems. I would suggest that you take time to observe how the eskimo elders handle problems and learn from them. After all, they have thousands of years of background in living an isolated lifestyle and have adapted very well to it. Given that you are unable to appreciate their style, I would suggest the best thing for you to do is return to your previous existence and let the Yupiks take care of their own education.

-- Mac in AK (nospam@no.spam), April 13, 2002.

Did you speak to the teacher in person one on one? I notice whenever someone has problems with a teacher or employee somewhere it immediately turns into a lawsuit or some sort of federal case. This forum is about people that want to be self sufficient and do things the OLD way, What was school like when you went to "Public" school? What would previous generations have done?

-- Emil in TN (eprisco@usit.net), April 13, 2002.

I'm kind of wondering why they have toys in a 1st grade classroom.

Najia, what you described is fairly mild to what I saw and experienced in school, and that was only 20 years ago.

-- Dave (multiplierx9@hotmail.com), April 13, 2002.

while a teacher in today's society is looked down on for correcting a student with such things as a slap on the hand, it really isn't that big of a deal. what is, as others have previously stated, is the slapping on the head, pinching, and pattern of behavior. from your letter i got the impression that most of the stories your heard were just rumors (unless you have already done so), and all of you go to the school board. do check up on your kids behavior as i can testify that handeling a room full of 25+ kids is not easy. when they misbehave they don't want to listen to the teacher, and the teacher isn't permitted to do much else than verbally correct them in a nice way. ISS and OSS, do not really come in until middle school, and even then, kids could care less. those are just two forms of alterior "discipline" in the school today to help improve kids behavior. i can testify that none of them do improve their behavior, and detention certainly does not. so it is easy to see how a teacher could be at the end of her rope and her last resort, in a sudden snap of emotions was to slap your son's hand. if her class is too big, get the school board to higher another teacher!!!!!! students do better in smaller classes, anyway. but if it is a serious problem and all of the stories are verified as true adn you haev the parents to testify for them, then something must be done. there was a problem teacher at my school one time (who hated me). she had years and years of complaints on her and finally, she was gone. but she was never fired. she supposedly (at the peak of the complaints) got diabetes and had to take sick leave when it was 2 weeks until the end of the school year. she moved to maryland and began teaching again the next year. the school board just didn't want to fire her, because that makes their school system look bad. so, just know that you are up to the fight of your life. :)

-- C (punk_chicadee@yahoo.com), April 13, 2002.

part of my post got deleted or screwed up or something. when i was talking about rumors then i said (unless you have already done so), i was referring to verifying the facts, a phrase which somehow got misplaced!! :)

-- C (punk_chicadee@yahoo.coom), April 13, 2002.

I appreciate everyone's input. The biggest problem I see is that I teach in the very same building where this is going on. That is why I know so much about other assaults. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place because I work for this school district and there is sort of an honor among thieves. Teachers don't turn on teachers...supposably. I have no problem with contacting the other parents but Mac actually had a good idea of where that would go. We are leaving the village. That being said...

Mac, you sound like one of those wanna be's who lives up here believing all that "one with nature" garbage and turns a blind eye when someone drowns an entire flock of ducks or shoots dogs for sport or to all of the abuse that goes on in villages. I do NOT appreciate your opinion because you took it to a very personal level. I get along brilliantly with the rest of the community. They love me and I have made some very good friends. It is the *ssh*le principal (no, he is not native) who is biding his time out here who makes life difficult for me and every other parent. The Alaskan Teachers Retirement System is set up so that your pension is based on your highest 3 years of service so we get all of the burnt-out-has-beens who do nothing more than collect a check and watch the calender. I do not "stir the pot" unless you consider following the law and reporting physically abused, molested, and neglected children to the proper authorities when it is disclosed to me. The day I can ignore a child telling me his is beaten at home the night before is the day I quit teaching. Not only is it immoral, it is against the law. If you have spent most of your life in a village then you know EXACTLY what I am talking about. As for the elders....let me see. Should I consult the one who was arrested for public drunkeness or the one on the sexual offenders list...oh I know! I will contact the one who said at the last town meeting that it is OK to hit a pregnant woman because they can be so difficult. The only thing I can agree with is the Yupiks need to take care of their own education because frankly, what we got going on up here isn't working.

-- Najia (najia274@yahoo.com), April 13, 2002.

If you suspect abuse (or the school administration hears of it) it is a federal offense not to report it to Social Services. I would report it and let them do an investigation (which they are required to do- also by law). Since it appears the school system won't act on it, let Child Protection sort it out.

-- Gayle in KY (gayleannesmith@yahoo.com), April 13, 2002.

Would it be helpful to get newspaper coverage? Schools generally are unenthused about negative publicity.

I would suggest that you and the other parents attend a school board meeting. Prior to that meeting, ask that the question of corporal punishment be put on the agenda as a specific item to be addressed.

When the s.b. meeting is held, instead of dealing solely with this teacher, I'd suggest you ask the s.b. what the written policy is regarding corporal punishment. I would also suggest doing your homework in advance to find out whether it is legal to use corporal punishment of any kind in the schools.

If they condone it, I would suggest that you and the other parents request a change in policy. If they are unwilling to do that, I would suggest a petition requesting such a change, collecting signatures from as many parents as possible. If there is enough public support, you should be able to get such a policy put in place.

If they already have a policy against corporal punishment (or, of course, if it is illegal, as I suspect), then the next step is to ask them what is done to enforce it. Be sure you have written statements from each parent whose child has been hit, pinched, whatever. I wouldn't address the yelling, at this point in time, as it is too ephemeral. Ask why it is not being enforced, and provide documentation of past occurrences and actions surrounding them (i.e. contacted Mr. X on said date, I said, he said, etc). Since you work for the school, and are consequently in a somewhat vulnerable position, you may wish to ask another parent to be the spokesperson - that'd be your call.

At this point in time, the school board is going to have to take some sort of action. If you get the evasive 'we'll look into it', ask to have it on the agenda the following month, and again have the parents attend.

You probably are ahead of me on this one - but be calm, businesslike, polite. Yelling gets you nowhere because as soon as you raise your voice, they'll shut you out.

Good luck on this one.

-- Aileen (Aileen1704@yahoo.com), April 13, 2002.

A slap on the hand is not abuse. Also,maybe your child is exaggerating the extent of the sting because he can see that he's got you all worked up,and in his little mind can 'get back at the teacher.' Most kids who's parents always take their side turn out to be brats. I'm a teacher and a mother and have felt that mother bear instinct (so to speak) when I feel that my child may have been done wrong.Just step back,take a deep breath and think of what you want to raise your child to be.One that can't handle correction and gets patted and told that he did nothing wrong?(by parents actions)

-- Gina (ginabug2@hotmail.com), April 14, 2002.

I have been in the position of having to (simply) verbally correct children who are being disruptive (think kids running around loose in a store), and it is amazing how parents are very quick to yell at YOU, the adult, in such a situation, when they don't care enough to keep their kids from running into a post, or a glass shelf.

On the other hand, if your (anybody's here) child were about to stick his hand in a fire, would you rather the teacher slap his hand or let him burn himself? One of my friend's opinions on the subject of corporal punishment was "better a little hurt now, than jail later".

Novina's example about the daycare provider was also interesting--she should have said to the parents, "I'm sorry, but (name) is not minding, and I won't have her in my daycare service until he/she learns to mind." That puts the discipline issue squarely on the parents, where it belongs. If that means they have to take off work to pick up their child right then, too bad.

A slap on the hand, in and of itself, is not the worst thing in the world--in fact, many would be embarrassed that their child had behaved so badly as to need to be disciplined by someone outside the family.

That said, the other things you mentioned, Najia (pinching, hitting with a book, shaking, etc.), were 'way out of line and should be dealt with, by the other parents, and certainly you were right to report what you witnessed yourself.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), April 14, 2002.

Could it be that since their is a shortage of teachers they are willing to overlook almost anything short of an out and out beating just because it would be hard to replace a teacher in the middle of the school year? I know this isn't the way to think but some take the easy way out so they don't rock the boat. I feel that touching a child is wrong no matter how lightly, yelling they turn you off, and to threaten them with ISS or OSS has become a way to get what they really want a day off to run the streets when everyone has to be in school. I know 1st graders maybe don't think this way but give them a few years. My method is first PARENT contact and then principal,then superintendent, school board after that. I cannot not believe that it would ever have to go further then that. As a teacher I have had my share of kids who wouldn't behave and parents who say not my child, but all in all most people want their children to behave and learn and if you go to them before it gets bad it can end right there and everyone wins. Sally

-- (mallardhen67@hotmail.com), April 15, 2002.

One more reason to homeschool. Sorry -- I couldn't resist.

The fact of the matter is that, all else aside, she DENIED it, and appears to have consistently denied it. If you have established that she did in fact do it, if there are other *adult* witnesses to the fact that she is unacceptably physical in her classroom, then call in the law. Period.

I don't see the slap of a hand as a big deal. What I see as the big deal is the repeated physical response, ALONG with her consistent denials. This tells me that she knows full well that what she has done is unacceptable, and knows she'll get in trouble for it, and is unwilling to admit her guilt.

That, of course, is all supposing that there are ADULT witnesses. It has been proven that children of that age will tell you what they think you want to hear, and say pretty much anything to get out of trouble. I'm not suggesting that this IS what has happened, simply that you should be aware that there seems to be some sort of "tribe ethic" with kids of this age. If her students are aware of the "talk" of the parents about her, and they have reason to dislike her (such as being admonished for fighting over a toy), then the likelihood that small incidents are being blown out of proportion is high.

Good luck to you. All else considered, it is a good letter.

-- Tracy (trimmer31@hotmail.com), April 15, 2002.

Thanks again everyone. I did reread my letter and my husband and I modified it somewhat but still submitted it. We see it this way. The slapped hand will not scar him for life. It did not leave any perminent mark and therefore may not be perceived as a big deal but this lady is mean. Flat out. she has done progressively worse stuff to kids over the course of the year....if she felt like she could get away with it with us...she would escalate. I have no doubt in my mind. I also teach her class of students and frankly, i rarely even need to raise my voice. i fail to understand why she would need to resort to violence. again, it may just be a slap today but would i have been better off to wait until MY kid is the one getting hit in the head with a stick or book? I think not, better to end it now...before it gets worse. and Tracy? you are right about the homeschooling thing. ;0) I am trying to figure out how we can afford to do this financially. thanks again everyone!

-- Najia (najia274@yahoo.com), April 16, 2002.