Flew from Newcastle to London yesterday and YBR was three seats behind me - with a blue plaster round one of his fingers! Hopefully this setback won't keep him out of training.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

Answers

Anyway, at Heathrow my brother wishes him good luck. He says "Thanks very much. Do you know where the connections are?" "Where are you going?" asks bro. Go on Bob, say Barcelona, Madrid or Rome. He says nowt, looks around and wanders off. Last seen heading unsurely down a staircase and may now be sitting on a luggage carousel in Terminal 4 awaiting collection.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

Call me old fashioned, but I could never understand why you would want to wear a blue plaster rather than the flesh coloured (or even the grotty pink ones). Is it something to do with wanting to draw attention to yourself? Is it an advertising thing? Was YBR making a statement that he wants to replace Claudio Ranieri at Chewsee when the Italian's contract is up in 5 years time?

Actually, I can reveal he was on the way to Harley Street for a scan on his injured digit. Thankfully, it's not as bad as Farcelino's terrible injury and YBR will be able to make his usual pick this weekend.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

Screach, you obviously don't spend enough time in the kitchen with your lace pinny. The blue plasters are what you're supposed to dress the wound with when you've taken a slice out of a body part.

Then, if the plaster comes off while you're preparing your gourmet bacon sarnie, maybe even two gourmet bacon sarnies if you're entertaining Clarky, the plaster will show up more easily in among the ingredients.

You could, of course, just leave it and forget about the garnish. :- {E}

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

I think it's electricians's tape. It was all the medics had left for YBR after Al had used up the white and pink stuff.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

It could have been a Mr Bump plaster, which would have explained the blue colour. 2nd childhood and that :-)

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

....actually I'd have settled for one non-gormet bacon sarnie PB. Not that I'm bitter aboot it, or owt leyk!

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

One has servants for that sort of thing PB. Me? Aah just give it a suck and wrap it in me hankie. Figuratively speaking, leyk.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

The paucity of bacon sarnies of any description was due to me living down to my social climbing reputation.

My darling wife was all set up for full sitty doon silver sorvice brikfast but I vetoed it because the freeloaders weren't important enough, even for eat on the hoof bacon sarnies.

But next time, mebbe. :-{E}

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002