What is the best way to get someone to make out with you? Subtlety? Directness? What has worked for and on you?

-- Anonymous, April 24, 2002

Answers

Are you trolling for tips? 'Cause if you are, you're asking the wrong person. The word "make out" conjures up ideas of forceful groping, shoving tongues down throats, and copious amounts of slobber. If that isn't sexy, then show me what is.

I'm sure if Mike-san answers this question, he'll just tell you about something he "learned" from a movie. Uh huh. Maybe someday he'll share stories about his steamy love affairs with his hot Nippon girlfriends in the land of the rising sun.

-- Anonymous, April 25, 2002

KORRRRA! Hey, I'm innocent I tell ya! I know nothing about this kind of subject matter! Nothing! No lapbelts, I know NOTHING about lap belts! I've never even used a lap belt-well,I HAVE, but not in the way some would assume. Joy's the 'car expert'. She was telling me all about her knowledge of parking brakes, gear shifters, and spacious back seats last night....

-- Anonymous, April 25, 2002

"Look mom, no lap belts!"?

Did someone tell Jaimee the whole story behind that?

-- Anonymous, April 25, 2002

Hey, Mister! I don't have any knowledge of gear shifters since I drive an automatic. You're the one who said you'd "imagine" it to be uncomfortable. I'm sure you "imagined" that with Meari Shimai. I'll just have to ask her when she comes to visit you. Hee hee.

And yeah, I did tell Jaimee about the lap belts. It was just too funny to not share.

-- Anonymous, April 25, 2002

Directness seemed to work well for you, Jaimee.

-- Anonymous, April 25, 2002

I guess I'll contribute a real answer, since Tim did. On the topic of directness, there's "going for it", and then there's "forcing the other person to just go along with whatever you're doing". The first is good. The second, not so good. You feel like you're being overpowered or eaten or something. It makes you feel like less of a partner in the "art" of making out, and more like a rubber plaything. Is there a better term for "making out"? It just has this bad connotation with me. I think of Mary Kay LeTourneau and Villi Fulaau making out in a car with steamed up windows (and no lap belts!).

-- Anonymous, April 25, 2002

I just realized that some automatic's gear shifters aren't connected to the steering wheel. It's actually like that in my Jetta (the car with no lap belts). Hee hee. Oops. Later update: I also realized that the Echo has the gear shifter in the "in the way" position. I'm observant, aren't I?

-- Anonymous, April 25, 2002

I think you need a mix of both. See if you're too direct, it will either scare the person off or take the magic out of "making out." It's no fun if someone straight out asks you if they can make out with you. You need to be subtle, but if you're too subtle it won't happen. So I suggest a few things... try to get yourself alone in a bedroom together (preferrably alone in the whole house). I think most makeout sessions start when the two of you are laying down on the same bed together. So whatever it takes to put yourself in that situation, make it happen. If you both want to make out with each other, it shouldn't be too hard from here. Cuddle close with the other person and wait for a moment when you both look at each other in the eyes. Break the eye contact for a second and look at the persons lips... this says, "I want to make it with you" in eye contact language. Lean in for the kiss and if the other person reciprocates you're in!

A few other ideas... Ask the person for a "massage." This is code language universally understood by everyone to mean, "I want to make out with you." If you're the one giving the massage, if the other person feels like they are into it, lean in and start breathing on their neck a little. If they don't pull away, give them a kiss on the neck and you should be making out in another moment.

One last idea... take the person to a beach or dock at night time. People don't go there unless they want to make out with each other. Give the person a long hug and then use the same "eye contact with the lips" move and you're in!

A final disclaimer... these are merely my opinions. I won't be responsible if you get slapped.

-- Anonymous, April 25, 2002

KORRRA!!...Nani iutte nen!?!? Shinjirarenai na.....

Okay, I give up. Looks like I'll just be digging myself even DEEPER into this hole if I retaliate any further....BUT just for the record I never 'imagined' that with Meari OR Manami. They're Old!! Does my name begin with a 'J'?......

-- Anonymous, April 25, 2002

No fair, those words aren't in my Japanese dictionary! Twerp! Alam ko na mahal na mahal mo si Meari at Manami. Pustahan tayo, meron sa dalawang 'yon na magiging asawa mo - hee hee.

-- Anonymous, April 25, 2002

RE: Tom's answer

I like how you unravel some of the mystery behind "eye contact language" and massage "code". It makes making out sound like some devious spy activity that requires a lot of training.

-- Anonymous, April 25, 2002

Alcohol. Lots of alcohol. Also the subtle approach of one Margret Cho ("I smile.. then see if they smile back. If he smiles at me, I'll walk over and say "STICK IT IN!") has a certain power that can't be denied.

-- Anonymous, April 25, 2002

Tim says directness worked for me, but he forgets that it took hours for me to kiss him, and this was only after he demanded that I do so. It's a sweet story, really. I swear.

But no, Lugod, I'm not trolling for tips. Just casting something out there to see what I get. I'm happy I finally posted a question that got some notice. It's a high time. I already told you all my moves, so you can carry on the torch now that you're a hot single lady and I'm off the market.

And, in case Mike has gotten confused from watching too many 80s teen movies, not all making out takes place in parked cars. Crazy, huh?

Joy's comment on someone just going for it without stopping to see if the other person was into reminded me of those people who kiss you so hard, and with their mouths open so wide, that it feels as though they are trying to eat your head. That, as my American history teacher would say, ain't nothin' nice. It's right up there with technique that leaves you feeling as though someone has just bathed your entire face with their tongue. Nasty. Always watch the slobber factor.

-- Anonymous, April 25, 2002

Tony: Margaret Cho rules!

Jim Bean: There will be no "torch carrying". I don't think the Make Out Olympics passes through Gig Harbor. Maybe Sherese can carry the torch in memory of us girls. She's the one with the razor-sharp guydar, afterall.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2002