Being only 34 sometimes I wonder how I will have the energy to make it to 70! I wondered how you all feel at different ages, compared to how you felt 10 or 20 years ago? My "head" still feels very young, but my body says otherwise sometimes! I have so many plans, but am often too tired to do everything I wnat to do... So how have you changed? Physically, mentally, spiritually, personality wise etc...

I know in the last 10 years I have become more self-confident. I question authority more, and I care less about making money and more about living a more wholesome lifestyle. I am working harder to be the kind of person I wnat to be, moving myself closer and closer to what I consider the right way to live. I am physically in worse shape than I thought I would be, but am also working hard on that. Spiritually I have more faith, I don't worry much about anything, I try to leave it in God's hands!! I am working to be more serene, more accepting of life's circumstances and a kinder person... So those are some changes in me the last 10 years...

-- Melissa in SE Ohio (me@home.net), April 25, 2002

Answers

Melissa, great question! I'd like to think I've grown more tolerant, understanding! I always wondered how I would feel when I was middle- aged and now I'm here.....! I had children late in life and I never get over the wonder of these two unique little persons in my life. In the past I tended to take a lot on, now I know my limitations. I've learned to be true to myself and not try so hard to win the approval of others. I've learned about what is true in life and to forget about money and prestige. I'm learning to love that person who looks back at me in the mirror every morning.

I've learned that the future is now, not tomorrow. I'm learning to appreciate the people in my life much more now, even the people who push my buttons, for they are my greatest teachers. How blessed I've been, the hard stuff has taught me compassion. Thanks for a great question Melissa!

-- Terran in VT (homefire@sover.net), April 25, 2002.

P.S. I am forty five and look forward to many more years of 'learning.'!!!

-- Terran in VT (homefire@sover.net), April 25, 2002.

I use to worry what people would say and they came first. I'm 39 now and the way I use to speak to my husband was so bad. I can honestly look back and say I can't believe he stayed with me for 8 yrs. I had people say I can't believe you get away with that. Well things have changed. I listen and do more for my husband and family now in the past 5 yrs. than I can ever make up for. I use to have him wait on me and do everything. One morning I woke up and asked myself where would I be without him. So I decided to change ME.. Now I wake up and smile and say look what WE did or changed. I love him sooooooo much more now that I'm helping and doing rather than watching. I hope you get what I'm trying to say. HOPE all is well and this helps...cARRIE

-- cARRIE (onemaur@olg.com), April 25, 2002.

Melissa, Was that "Being only 34, sometimes I wonder..." or "Being only 34 sometimes, I wonder...."

I know there have been a lot changes in my life the last 10 years, most for the good. I have a wife and family to come home to now. Much more fun commming home to family than an empty house. Mentally I am well, although I think some of my coworkers would questions that. Spiritually I am much better of now that found God. Personally I am a better person to myself as well as others. Physically lots more aches and pains to deal with, Many of those pains were self inflicted by one source or another.

-- Gary in Ohio (gws@columbus.rr.com), April 25, 2002.

Melissa------Great question as usual-----

No /I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago--nor am I the same person I was 20 years ago---nor am I the same person I was yesterday!!!

I had no idea you could have wrinkles & pimples at the same time!!!!! ha! I thought /if you assumed you could do something your body would always do what you told it to do!!!! ha! I never dreamed the things I heard come from my Mothers mouth would ever come out of mine!!!! ha! Never dreamed when I told my daughter ---"hope you have one just like you"---she would!!! ha! Never dreamed when I told my hubby for over 20 years/ I hope you never have to wait on me---one day he would---- And he is right now----so I have to go/ may I finish this later---if my Alzheimers doesn't take over & I have no clue what I had in my mind I wanted to say----later--sonda

-- Sonda in Ks. (sgbruce@birch.net), April 25, 2002.

Golly, How have I changed, I look in the mirror, and really don"t reconize the person stareing back at me. I have pure white hair, It use to be black. I wear tri focals [glasses ] now. I don't have the energy at 72, that I used to have. You will all have a younger mind than the body. I'm still trying to pray more, closier to the other side every day now. I try to read the bible, but always gravitate to prophecy, cause thats my love. You get a little more scared at this age, because hubby is ailing. And you wonder what you do as a widow. I try to eat only healthy foods now, Stay away from potatoe chips etc. And the main thing, no matter how you feel when you first get out of bed. You just put one foot in front of the other, and you just keep going.

-- Irene texas (tkorsborn@cs.com), April 25, 2002.

Hmmm, interesting question as usual Melissa, how in earth do you come up with these?? LOL.....I turned 54 in March, and I guess because I have been ill a great deal, I feel every year of it. In my 30s, I recall feeling rather desparate, as if my life had wound up to some sort of frantic pace and was marching on without me..I wanted to invent something of a noble nature, to write a monumental book, to sculpt a "David"..you get the picture.I felt like I would soon pass out of existance, leaving nothing to mark my being here at all. I began a spiritual search, visiting synagogs(?sp) and protestant churches (I was raised catholic), buddist temples, etc..nope...I was actualy lost in a frantic quest for the meaning of my life. I KNEW I was supposed to DO something with it. At that time, I had a graduate degree and was doing research in Neonatal medicine, ran for the school board, did upteen volunteer jobs, sang in a jazz band, and had three kids...still...something large was missing....Over a period of years, I narrowed "it" down...my focus throughout my 30s and early 40s had been "ME".my book, my "david", my legacy...through work with hookers and inmates, I ended up in a church ministry and discovered that for around 15 years, God had been tapping me on the shoulder and saying Hello..so in my 40s and now 50s I sure am changed LOL...Now there isn't a thing missing in my life and I am as content as the proverbial pig in mud..each day is a precious gift from the Lord. Every one of the talents He has given to me I can joyously pass on for the good of other folks, and not only "feel". but truly know that I have lived...great feeling to have,indeed....total contentment...

-- lesley (martchas@bellsouth.net), April 25, 2002.

Got old really old. The saying life begins at forty is not quite true, it just hurts so much more after forty you notice it more. David

-- David in North Al. (bluewaterfarm@mindspring.com), April 25, 2002.

Twenty years ago I had a three year old and a six year old. We'd just got off the mission field of the inner city in Los Angeles. I'd only been married 9 years and I was at the weight I wish I was now :) I had a lot of living to do and learning with it. But do I wish I was 20 years younger? Yes and no. I'd love to weigh the same, but it has been fun raising the kids, and now we have a 6 months old grandson. I'm glad the homeschooling is over, that was a big commitment which I'll never regret but I'm glad it's over. My husband and I have a much stronger marriage now than we did 20 years ago and I praise God for the many things He took us through in the past 20 years, not all of them pleasant at the time. We're enjoying the empty nest time now and looking forward to what the Lord will have us do in the future.

-- Nancy (nannyb@huntel.net), April 25, 2002.

Gary, I am 34 for now!!! Sorry about the lack of comma!

Good one David!

-- Melissa in SE Ohio (me@home.net), April 25, 2002.

If I havent changed then I havent grown or learned from my mistakes. I dont take things as personally, I dont worry about what people think so much, I see the big picture and dont sweat the small stuff, I am completely different and much more self confident. physically I didnt use the energy I had when I was in my 20's I could have run circles around the person I am now. I would have worked harder when you can't do as much you realize just how pleasant and satisfying hard work is.

-- ronda (thejohnsons@localaccess.com), April 25, 2002.

Hhhhmmmmm, 20 years ago where was I??? Tough one...I was on a fairly consistant buzz, drinking somewhat heavily, cruising thru life with my attention firmly planted on ME, MYSELF AND I. And my head planted up my glutious maximus. After several years of therapy, and anonymous meetings, my head broke through the fog of pot smoke and I realized how quickly I was just spinning my wheels and getting nowhere. Got out of a perpetually downward-spirally relationship, and started to crawl my way up. You see, there was a light up there - steady, constant, and warm. So I began the ultimate trip - and the journey continues...

I now have my little homestead, a wonderful husband (gads, soooo patient with me!), two strong little boys (altho both would say "Hey, I'm not little!!!"), and a much clearer view of where I gotta go. As I said, the journey continues, and I gotta LOOOOOOONG way to go. But with God's help (and I need lotsa that!), I'll get there. Go in Peace, and God's Grace...

Judi

-- Judi (ddecaro@snet.net), April 25, 2002.

Well, one thing I can tell you...after 40 you go into light speed!!! I don't know where in the world the years are going but they are clicking by faster every year.

I do find that at 50 I don't worry about the things I did when I was in my 30's and 40's. I am much more laid back about things since I have found that all things do work out for the best, in time.

One big reality check you realize when you get older is how fast time flies by and how short life really is. I find there are so many thing I wish I had held on to and treasured when I was younger instead of just wanting to move along with life. Especially children. Now with our late-in-life little guy (just turned 6 years old last week)I tend to try to hang on every moment and treasure it up in my heart (like Mary did) more than I did when I was younger. Of course I don't have the energy I had...he is speeding up and I am slowing down (and we kid that we will have to find an old folks home that takes "minors"..LOL).

I also do find I am not as adventerous as I use to be. I kind of like routine more now and would like to know what is coming next. I also realize how lucky I have been and what a wonderful husband I have. Not meaning to sound morbid - but facing reality - is that one big change has been realizing that at some point (unless we go together in an accident) one of us will be left to carry on without the other. It does change your perspective on the fragility of life. We do tend to make plans to try to make it easier for the one left (kind of getting our ducks in a row).

I also have become a kinder person and more accepting of whatever circumstances God places us in. What can you do? Just roll with the punches!

-- Karen (mountains_mama2@hotmail.com), April 25, 2002.

Wow. Ten Years ago I was a senior in High School. Running around, doing whatever I wanted, Or at least thought I was. I had a very low self esteem, and probably way too interested in the opposite sex. Since then I have had three kids, a bad marraige, and a complete turn around on the way I think.

My esteem has lifted about 40% and I am now looking more to God for the answers rather than thinking I can do everything myself. I am realizing where I am happy at. I am listening to other people better. Where I used to just blow off any advice. You know the old saying "If I only knew then, what I know now."

-- Melinda (speciallady104@hotmail.com), April 26, 2002.

Okay, lets get organzied here . . .

20 years ago, I was 19, didn't have clue what I wanted to do for a living, but wanted it to be outdoors. Didn't (and still don't) give a flip for making big money, just wanted to live a peaceful quiet life, without any complications, hence, no girlfriends or loud "high school" mentality friends. Was 190 pounds, lean and hard bodied and healthy. I had nil spriritual life; I knew what I wanted, and didn't need God to help me get it. Did I mention I was pretty dumb?

10 years ago, I had went through college, still hadn't decided on how to make a living, but had decided to give drafting a go, my dad was an architect and enjoyed it. I had already gone to a technical school, and found that I really enjoyed it (YESSSS!). So unattached and making a (meager) living, I enjoyed my freedom, staying out at our family ranch every weekend, hiking, hunting. After several years drafting, I went back to college, seeking an engineering job, but couldn't pass Calculus, despite three tries. Extremely upset, I went back to drafting, realizing for the first time that I wasn't "Superman" and had limitations. But, in time, came to accept it and found that drafting still held lots of fascination for me. That old saying "Find a job you like and you will never have to work for a living" has pretty much been my experience. But still alone, 29 years old, still in relatively good shape, weighing about 210.

Now I'm 39, weigh about 235, and have aged in body and mind. I'm still relatively healthy, but that extra weight is something I need to take care of. Boy, is losing weight harder getting hard to do.

I've been married a little over six years (finally found THE ONE!),an angel who helped me find my way back to religion, where I should have been all along. I've got a three year old son who sometimes makes me feel like 139 years old, and a brand new one month old girl. I still enjoy drafting, but my family has changed my priorities, and I am taking steps to provide for their future. No more carefree spending (well, I gotta have SOME toys . . . :^)), time to make a life possible for them if I get called to the other side of the Great Divide. Life for me is just beginning; Now if I only knew then what I know now . . .

My greatest personal revelation is learning that I cannot change the world; I can only take care of things which are under my control. So I try to minimize what I worry about, but try to forecast what may come to be, and prepare myself for that.

-- j.r. guerra in s. tx. (jrguerra@boultinghousesimpson.com), April 26, 2002.

J.R------------I CAN'T CHANGE THE WORLD--------!!!!!!!!!!! Now ya tell me----where were ya 50 years ago????- I know ya weren't born yet!!! ha!

I still think I can change the world--- & I try every day!!! ha!!-- Sonda

-- Sonda in Ks. (sgbruce@birch.net), April 26, 2002.

Twenty years ago I was in junior high, so we won't go there! My 15 year reunion is coming up in June, I went to a very small high school and am looking forward to getting to see everyone (well, almost everyone!).

Ten years ago I had just started dating my husband, and we were talking about getting married, just waiting for the money. By then, I pretty much had my life straightened out, settled down if not settled in, maybe not sure about where we would be, but sure it would be together.

Between ten years ago and fifteen years ago I was in college, out on my own for the first time, and really didn't plan on staying here in Oklahoma after I graduated. I loved my family's farm, but didn't really want to go back there except to visit. I wanted to move to a larger city, maybe even New York and do some modeling on the side. (I've been told I have more of a New York look, not blonde like the California girls! - that would be Melissa, I'm sure!)

I drank more BEFORE I was 21 than I probably have since then, but drugs were something that never interested me. I have just always thought you had to be stupid to let go of that much control, not to mention the permanent aftereffects of most illegal drugs! I did smoke for awhile, but never enough to become so addicted I couldn't walk away from it without more than a grumpy day or two!

My weight right now is basically the same as when I graduated from high school (scrawny!), but it has fluctuated from "Wow! How much do you weigh!(only about 145)" to "If you don't eat something I'm taking you to the Doctor.(ashamed to say, about 100)" - generally nerves is the only thing that triggers weight loss in me, and I really have to pig out to gain any - and I mean pig out for an extended period, not just a day or two.

Being young and without the stress of worrying for an entire family - no one to clean up after or cook for besides yourself, and no one to answer to about WHY you bought/did/said what you did is great. I wouldn't trade to go back however - I'd have to give up too much! I would trade bodies, though - this one hurts when I work it too hard!!

-- Christine in OK (cljford@mmcable.com), April 29, 2002.

Hey Christine, I am not THAT blonde!!! LOL...

-- Melissa in SE Ohio (me@home.net), April 29, 2002.