A lettler to the Pope

greenspun.com : LUSENET : Catholic : One Thread

What a brave woman! May God Bless her.

An Open Letter to the POPE

Belinda Martinez 1212 Ferndale Street, North Maplewood, Minnesota 55119 USA idgas999@hotmail.com

April 19, 2002

His Holiness John Paul II Apostolic Palace 00120 Vatican City State Europe

Dear Sir:

I am one of the vast numbers of Catholics who has been sexually abused by a priest. I am appalled at every news article or story I hear; yet at the same time, I know it will mark an increased intensity in the healing of the victim involved. I am hoping that the Holy Roman Catholic Church can be an instrument of the healing as well. So far it has not.

Please ask that your cardinals release the names of priests, formerly or presently accused of being involved in criminal sexual acts, so that the sin of secrecy does not continue. There are still so many undisclosed perpetrators of terrible deeds. We have lost human lives to suicide, mental illnesses and over-medicated adult lives in the name of your secrecy.

Please tell your church attorneys to cease the inclusion of any gag orders in any legal settlements with victims. It is not mentally healthy to be bound by a promise that suppresses pain.

Please beg that victims come forward, even if their perpetrator has died. Victims feel no sense of healing if they can feel no sense of justice. The healing will never happen if the healing has no way to begin.

Please do not become complacent on this issue. There is too much work to do. We have only shown a small portion of the ugliness. There are victims suffering great grief as a result of abuse by nuns as well. So much more light needs to be shed.

Please make bold decisions and set clear examples that should be the hallmark of a faith that calls Jesus Christ it’s Redeemer. There are many denominations in the same predicament as the Roman Catholic Church, and I know that they will be looking to see how much value you place on humanity.

It is not okay to concentrate on what you can retain of your reputation, dignity, assets, authority, or respect, if you first do not make monumental efforts to restore those very same things to the innocents from whom they were stolen.

Please forgive me if I simply cannot comply with the protocol of addressing you as ‘Holy Father’. I was repeatedly drugged and sexually abused by a priest who ran a retreat facility for youth. Years later, I was sexually assaulted by a hospital chaplain the day after I had an outpatient surgical procedure. I had to wipe his semen from my face, while protecting my surgical sutures. I call no one ‘father’, holy or otherwise. It would only serve to subordinate me to the victim I used to be.

I still pray . . . I pray for the souls of my perpetrators. I pray for the congregation that valued my perpetrator more than me. I pray for the diocese that paid attorneys a lot of money to call me a liar, when in the end it was proven that I was not. I pray for my daughter, who was affected by the calculated evil of humans, and the organized deceit of their authorities. I pray for those who have suffered indignities beyond description or imagination, by those who could turn around and preach about honesty, generosity, compassion, and grace. I pray for families who are cheated out of knowing the full potential of their abused loved ones, because they are either dead, hospitalized, living from crisis to crisis, or simply too medicated to function. I pray for victims who sever ties to any organized faith. I pray for victims who try to maintain membership in a worship community that does not understand how bittersweet the rituals have become as a result of their abuse. I pray for your ordained ministers who have been left to fix the mess that has been publicly ignored for far too long. I pray for journalists who provide disproportionate trial coverage, causing a naive public to further abuse a victim. I pray for a church that has not valued fifty per cent of its constituents ? females. Mostly I pray, because I know I am still heard by the God who made me, even though it would benefit the world to listen.

In Christ,

Belinda Martinez



-- John McDowell (jmcdowell43@hotmail.com), May 01, 2002

Answers

10 years ago a priest in my hometown parish was accused of doing something sexual in nature to a young child. He was removed from the parish and sent to do other work that didn't involve kids. Last year the "victim", who is now an adult spoke out and explained that when the offense supposedly happened his mother was extremely choked at the priest so she started a rumor that snowballed. The mother was quite pleased that the priest was removed from the parish. Now that the priest has been exonerated, does he sue the mother? Ellen

-- Ellen K. Hornby (dkh@canada.com), May 02, 2002.

Ellen your reaction highlights the problem the Church faces from those who refuse to face reality. False allegations are terrible but its not the saftey of the priests that you need to focus on here. Recent history has shown that our children are the real victims. Your efforts to contort the issue repells me. Shame on you.

-- kiwi (csisherwood@hotmail.com), May 02, 2002.

Sorry about the spelling!

-- kiwi (csisherwood@hotmail.com), May 02, 2002.

Kiwi

It is unfortunate that hese abuses took place and the perpretrators need to be jailed. BUT, to bankrupt the Church is pure baloney to me. I am sick of the way we as parishioners have to be the brunt of this attack on the Church and the monies being handed out freely. I wonder how many of these cases are bogus, of people who were condoning the acts and now suing and more. This is getting way out of hand. I see more than abuse here. I see the destuction of faith over things that are human by nature not by faith. It makes me SICK to read of this garbage and I personlly wish this was fully banned from this forum. I did not come here to read this rubbish. I came here to learn of the faith of our Church and HOW it is centered around Christ . NOT ABUSE, does anyone hear this . LETS get back to the real thing here.FAITH IN CHRIST. NOT THE DEVIL.

-- Fred Bishop (fcbishop@globaleyes.net), May 02, 2002.


Speaking of credibility ...just for Fred

http://www.nytimes.com/2002/04/30/national/30ABUS.html

April 30, 2002 THE TRAINING PROGRAM Meeting Is Held on Detecting and Preventing Abuse By FOX BUTTERFIELD

ONCORD, N.H., April 29 - Almost 300 Roman Catholic priests, nuns and other church workers from New Hampshire took part today in a national pilot program here on how to detect and prevent the problem that has created a crisis in their church, sexual abuse by priests.

With the help of graphic videotapes made by a church-owned insurance company, the participants struggled with how, in a rapidly changing world, to express affection for children in their parish in an appropriate way, how to spot early warning signs of a predatory priest and when to know if an accusation of sexual abuse is credible.

"We as a church have to change," said the Rev. Edward Arsenault, who is in charge of handling sexual misconduct accusations for the Diocese of Manchester, which covers New Hampshire.

"The church has made mistakes in how we've handled this, using confidentiality to prevent scandal," Father Arsenault told a hushed audience. "That has made it worse."

The policy of the Manchester Diocese now includes mandatory reporting to the police of credible accusations of sexual abuse by priests, swift removal of accused priests from their posts and increased education to make priests aware of what is acceptable behavior toward children, Father Arsenault said.

Several members of the audience raised concerns that false accusations might be made against priests in the current emotional atmosphere, in which hundreds of priests have been accused nationwide since the scandal surfaced in Boston in January.

But Father Arsenault said, "We have not had an allegation of sexual abuse that has not turned out to be credible, I am sorry to say."

Forty priests have recently been accused of child sexual abuse in New Hampshire, some of the cases dating back many years. In the latest case, the Rev. George Robichaud, pastor of two churches in Wolfeboro, was arrested last Friday on aggravated felonious sexual assault charges involving a 13-year-old altar boy in 1985. None of the cases occurred since 1990.

Vivian Vago, an organist at a church in Manchester, said at the session today that she was worried about falsely accusing a priest. "I would hate to crucify a person before we are certain," Ms. Vago said.

Afterward, Ms. Vago said that she had asked the question because she had been suspicious for several years that a priest she works with was abusing children, but that church officials had dismissed her complaints.

"At least now I feel I have an avenue," she said.

On the videotapes, a boy describes how he was abused by a priest at a summer camp when he was 10, a girl tells how she was abused by a teacher when she was 12 and a priest recalls how he tricked 500 young girls into letting him fondle them. The videos were made by National Catholic Services, an insurance company owned by 60 dioceses around the nation.

Joe Naff, a social worker who is director of counseling services for the Manchester Diocese, tried to outline improper ways for priests to express affection: kissing on the mouth, putting children on his lap, touching of genital areas, getting into bed with a child and wrestling with or tickling a child.

Some of these behaviors may have been acceptable in an earlier generation, Mr. Naff said. "Unfortunately, in today's world, rules for contact with children have changed," he said.

Church workers should also watch for priests who engage in "boundary violations," he said, like spending too much time with a child or meeting them in a nonpublic area like the rectory.

New Hampshire was chosen as one of four pilot dioceses for the training sessions, along with Newark, Kansas City, Mo., and Tulsa, Okla. Today's session was originally scheduled for last Sept. 13, before the sexual abuse scandal gained its current notoriety, but was postponed after the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11.

One of the biggest challenges in avoiding sexual abuse by clergymen, Father Arsenault said, is that priests minister to people, "so there is a desire to have intimate relations."

But in the current crisis, he said, "some of us may want to give up on intimacy," as too dangerous.

But, if priests "give up on intimacy," he continued, the church might as well be out of business.

---

-- Joan (godessss@mindspring.com), May 02, 2002.



Fred, I agree with you about the letter and Catholic bashing but Ellens reaction was so painfully predictable. I dont have the answers to the problem of false allegations but dont think your reaction nor Ellens does much to further the issue. Why is the Church doling out money to anyone and everyone? Unfortunately the processes and systems in the Church are as much to blame as anything else, hopefully some positive changes will come from the recent problems in the States. Tony I dont know what youre on about "farr right" sorry? Ps Im a male teacher at a co-ed high school

-- kiwi (csisherwood@hotmail.com), May 04, 2002.

Moderation questions? read the FAQ