This is a male issue. I am embarressed to mention it. Yet I must. It does not happen often, but it shouldn't happen at all.

Standing, I address the toilet. I unzip. I open the package. I aim and release. Duly a stream flows forth. But, the stream is crooked. It squirts at a 45 deg to my carefully aligned member. It misses the bowl completely and hits the floor tile with a sickening SPLAT.

Why does this happen? Do I need a urological calibration? Is there a subtle lint ball lodged in my pee-pee spigot? Is this a character defect? Is this a message from God?

Somehow I think Roseanne Roseannadanna would understand.

-- (lars@indy.net), May 11, 2002

Answers

Lars,

Carefully align your member 45 deg in the opposite direction. That should correct your aim.

Once the lint ball is dislodged simply turn 45 deg back and all should be fine with your pee-pee spigot.

No character defect. No message from God.

Don't forget to re-wrap your package.

-- Debra (Thisis@it.com), May 11, 2002.

I have a question as well. Sometimes when I'm on my period, I get the biggest blood clots, I mean they just plop right out into the toilet and look disgusting and sometimes when I wipe they are still on the tissue. These things are HUGE, think "The Blob" here. Is there something wrong with me? Do I need a pap-smear? I mean it's only been 12 years since my last visit. Any help is appreciated.

-- (Sleazy__Sally@hotmail.com), May 11, 2002.

Lars, why don't you take a long, tiny pipe cleaner and ....no, no never mind. Get a case of beer and drink as much as you can, then some more, and even more without taking a leak. When you cannot stand it any more hit the head and see if the pressure clears out any obstruction, such as a tiny kidney stone.

Ummm, you didn't sleep with it bent over backwards or with a kink in it did you?
You could always take a tiny crochet hook and try to remove whatever is in there.

But seriously, if it continues, you should see a doctor. Have you been on antibiotics lately? That can cause a yeast infection and perhaps there is a little bit of a buildup in your urethra.

-- Cherri (whatever@who.cares), May 12, 2002.

Oh that's an easy one. It's simply dried cum that has slightly glued the end of your peckerhole together, happens to me too. Simply knead your penis tip gently between your fingertips before you pee, thus opening and aligning the bore.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeeD@yahoo.com), May 12, 2002.

uggh!

-- men (what@Rthey.goodFor?), May 12, 2002.

try sitting to pee

-- (gurls@powder.room), May 12, 2002.

try sitting to pee

Yea, especially first thing in the morning when you just wake up. *giggle*

-- Cherri (whatever@who.cares), May 12, 2002.

Unk's method works, but when kneading your corona you are likely to get aroused, proceed to jack off, and then you have the same problem all over again. It's a vicious cycle. An easier way is to simply stick a pencil in there and spin it around until your pipe is clean.

-- (pencil@roto.rooter), May 12, 2002.

Definitely gonorrhea

-- (Dr Dean Edell@clap.trap), May 13, 2002.