My husband of 21 years left me last summer. We are both Catholic and were baptized, confirmed, and married in the same church. He has finally told me the truth that he has been having an affair for 2 years. I asked him to come back and we will work at the marriage and go to counseling. (I have asked him for several years to go to counseling and he refused) I still love him but he says he no longer loves me and will not go to counseling. I have tried for a year to convince him to come back and he says he is going to file for a divorce. We have 2 children an daughter 18 and a son 17. I do not have anyone in my life I am still married, but will I be an excumicated catholic when we are divorced? Do I have grounds for an annullment?

Jayne

-- Jayne Marie Bibbs (bibbs418@mctcnet.net), May 19, 2002

Answers

Response to grounds for an annullment

Jayne, Divorce is not a reason for excommunication nor a reason not to receive communion. The problem enters in when there is a remarriage without an annulment. I would recommend that you sit down and talk with a Priest about your situation. I would not recommend starting the annulment process untill after the Divorce is final and you have had some time to heal. The process requires that you do some very serious reflection on your life before and during your marriage. It may be very painfull.

-- Father Chris LaBarge (marydelfr@starband.net), May 19, 2002.

Response to grounds for an annullment

Just one thing to add to what Father said, Jayne ... Even without this decree, as long as you remain unmarried, you can participate fully in parish life, including the sacraments. (Actually I should not use the word "unmarried," because, despite the divorce, the Church will continue to consider you as married, until the opposite is proved.)

I will pray for a reconciliation with your husband whom you still love. You are to be commended for your great generosity in forgiving him. Few Catholics know that the Code of Canon Law encourages (though does not require) spouses to do what you have done:
"Canon 1152 §1 -- It is earnestly recommended that a spouse, motivated by Christian charity and solicitous for the good of the family, should not refuse to pardon an adulterous partner and should not sunder the conjugal life. Nevertheless, if that spouse has not either expressly or tacitly condoned the other's fault, he or she has the right to sever the common conjugal life, provided he or she has not consented to the adultery, nor been the cause of it, nor also committed adultery."

God bless you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), May 19, 2002.

Response to grounds for an annullment

[OOPS! My message was supposed to start as follows, but the key sentence failed to appear, due to an HTML error I made.]

Just one thing to add to what Father said, Jayne ...
After the divorce, you will not be under any obligation at all to seek a Decree of Nullity (which some people call an "annulment").

JFG

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), May 19, 2002.