To ensure we Americans never offend anyone - especially fanatics intent on killing us - airport screeners will not be allowed to racially profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President's security detail and 85-year old Congressional Medal of Honor Recipients.

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Let's pause a moment and take the following test.

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In the 1973 Olympics in Munich, 11 Israeli Athletes were massacred by:
(a) Bill O'Reilly
(b) Elvis
(c) Ozzie & Harriet
(d) Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

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In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
(a) Norwegians from Oslo
(b) Ronald Reagan
(c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
(d) Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

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In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
(a) A pizza delivery boy
(b) Crazed feminists complaining that being able to throw a grenade beyond its own burst radius was an unfair and sexist requirement in basic training
(c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
(d) Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

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In 1985, the Italian cruise ship, Achille Lauro, was hijacked by:
(a) The religious Right
(b) The Tooth Fairy
(c) White Anglo-Saxon Protestants
(d) Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

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In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
(a) Luca Braze, for not being given a part in "Godfather 2"
(b) Republicans
(c) Butch and Sundance who had a few sticks of dynamite left over from the train mission
(d) Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

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In Feb. 1993, 6 people were killed, and 1000+ injured when the World Trade Center in NY was bombed by:
(a) Richard Nixon
(b) Mickey Mouse
(c) Yo Yo Ma
(d) Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

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In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
(a) George Bush
(b) Mr. Rogers
(c) Hillary, trying to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems
(d) Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

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In Oct. 2000, 17 innocent soldiers were killed when the USS Cole was attacked by:
(a) The Pope
(b) The World Wrestling Federation promoting its next villain: "Mustapha the Merciless"
(c) Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd
(d) Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

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On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and over 2,000 innocent killed people by:
(a) Congressman James Trafficant
(b) The Florida Supreme Court trying to out-do their attempted hijacking of the 2000 Presidential election
(c)Darva Congers
(d) Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

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Hmmm ............. nope, no patterns anywhere.

-- Anonymous, May 29, 2002