Received these today in an email from a friend and thought they were "cute". Guys...feel free to add your own masculine "explanations" :-)!!

Men's Thesaurus

I'M GOING FISHING" Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

IT'S A GUY THING" Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..." Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Means: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD". Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES". Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING". Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT." Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Means: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU." Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK." Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2002

Answers

That's interesing, Dear Marcia! They speak wonders to the human condition. Especially about how we "communicate" with each other.

Umm, WHO'd you say sent these to you? I forget. Perhaps I had my mind on something else, but it would take too long to explain it, as I'm about to go fishing.

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2002

Well, JOJ; I'll just tell you what I tell the fellas out here - have fun and make sure you don't catch anything that you can't bring home with you!

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2002

How would I CATCH anything?? That would be too much work.

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2002

Marcia, I find it hard to believe that you put such a sexist thing on this forum! I don't think that's the way women think at all. If it was about men, I could believe it.

Polly, no matter what we catch, we can bring it home. It might not be welcome at home or anyplace else but remember we're men. We don't know any better.

Wildman, (going fishing with JOJ)

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2002

Hey guys...guess where I've been?? I went fishing :-)! Honestly, I did!! Didn't catch nothin', though. Hope you all know that this was posted in fun. I really don't believe that men communicate this way...although my personal favorite is the "I can't find it" one!!

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2002

Wow Marcia, where do you find men who talk this much? Dear sweet Keith can make a week's conversation out of "uh-huh", "hmmm", and "ah". If he's really in a talkative mood I might get an "OK" or a "cool".

Good thing I love the man or else he'd drive me absolutely nuts! ...not that it would be a very long trip! :>

-- Anonymous, June 14, 2002

O.k. guys, which one of us revealed our code to "them"? Had a prefectly good thing going on and someone just had to spill the beans. You will be found, we will chase you from star to star. You knew the penalty for revealing our code; one year of television with only Oxygen - Lifetime channels. And may God have mercy on your souls :^)

A whole lot of truth in the above translations, it sure is funny to see them all in one space. Thanks for sharing Marcia.

-- Anonymous, June 14, 2002

snicker, snicker, snort....

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2002