I am trying to find help for my sister who left an abusive relationship going on 6 months ago. The court granted joint custody of their 5 y.o. son. Her husband still continues to torment her through her son and she is practically homeless now. He hasn't complied with the court order to pay her the settlement that she desperately needs to get a new start. She was left with a no good vehicle, no job, and now no home either. She has no health insurance and her son is covered only by the minimum Georgia has to offer. We have only each other left in our family and financially I can offer very little to help. I also live in a different state. I desperately want to help her but I don't know what to do. I am concerned also about the child, his father and his father's family do everything they can to emotionally mess with his head. My sister has been threatened by this man in every way possible. The legal system is slow and she may never see her money and is scared he will take their son away.

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2002

Answers

Hello Elizabeth

My name is Rick H. I happen to read your posting on the safe4all web site, in the safe support e-mail support group in which you seemed to be looking for help for your sister . who is going through a divorce. I found support relationships in numerous 12 step groups such as AL-ANON, CODA, AA ETC were extremely nneded for me beacuse of such pain betral, loss and the injustice durring the divorce and all the emotional booby traps she is going through ...especially if she has a small child... My first recomedation at this point is to get your sister in numerous safe supportive supportive face to face type relationships where she can talk about your anger, resentments , and unforgiveness because i can only guess her ex-husbands attorney will intentionally try to get her upset. Of course my question now to you Elizabeth is how long can you sister endure under that pressure before she takes her rage out on he little child, because you can bet if her husbands attorney can shake her up, hell do it again and again and again and she will think she had been in the boxiing ring with Mike Tyson himself before this divorce is all over, of course they will try to make your sister look delusional, unfit mother, emotionally unstable etc. etc...Do you see the picture i am trying to pain for you?? I know........ i just got out of the ring....that you and your sister are now entering...my suggestion is get your sister in a AL-ANON GROUP DAILY keep her talking out her frustations and their most recent ploys to undermine her...But the best thing you can do for her ...as others did for me ....is to Walk....along side her and listen to her... dont give her advice unless she ask you for it...chaces are ...she have an attorney....let her attorney talk for her..... and STABILIZE HER emtionally so she can endure this uncoming long...nasty, ....ruthless....shark infested waters....called Divorce Court..............

Rick H..

central Florida

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2002