What does this mean, I wonder? I've always disliked clowns. Am I an uptight sicko, unable to enjoy? It has always gagged me to see adult persons disguise themselves in a "funny" face. To me the faces are hideous, not funny.

I resent the notion that I am supposed to be amused by someone hiding in an oversized cartoon-character costume who cavorts about wearing a frozen smile. Such creatures revulse me uniformly, no matter if it's the San Diego chicken or Mickey Mouse at Disney world. I recall once flipping Mickey Mouse the bird at Disney World as "he" hammed it up directly for my family. How do I know what lurked behind the deadly smile? I suspected he despised his audience and nourished murderous thoughts.

Worst of all are Halloween costumes, Mardi Gras costumes, etc. (I'm talking about adults, not kids). To me, the costumes are ugly and threatening. People hiding. People pretending. People expecting me to play along.

Am I too uptight? Am I exhibiting homophobia? Or am I plugged into something that revulses others too. CyberFreud?

-- (lars@indy.net), June 22, 2002

Answers

A little song

A little dance

A little seltzer

down your pants

-- (Chuckles the clown@lighten up.doood), June 22, 2002.

Um...was this a rhetorical question?

Am I an uptight sicko, unable to enjoy?

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), June 22, 2002.

Halloween? Sheesh, I like Halloween. Hate clowns though, as do my brother, sister, wife...

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeeD@yahoo.com), June 22, 2002.

To me the faces are hideous, not funny.

Traditionally, clown humor was much more menacing than it is now. It was all about violence and the threat of mayhem breaking out. Modern clowns have lost their way in a daze of nicey-nice.

-- Little Nipper (canis@minor.net), June 22, 2002.

John Wayne Gacy entertained kids dressed as a clown.

-- (roland@hatemail.con), June 22, 2002.

evil clown gallery

-- (ronald mcdonald @ cub.scouts), June 22, 2002.

Lars and Roland were both listening to the Art Bell show last night when George Noory said the exact same things!

-- (hahaha!@rightwing.doomers), June 22, 2002.

I never listen to Art Bell but apparently you do. Care to give us a program review, putzhead?

-- (roland@hatemail.com), June 22, 2002.

"John Wayne Gacy entertained kids dressed as a clown."

This fact was mentioned several times on the show last night. Just coincidence? NOT!!

-- bwaahahaha! (you're@stupid.doomer!), June 22, 2002.

Putzhead, Gacy's thing with clownz is old news. Are you just learning about it? Like I said, I never listen to Bell but if you enjoy him, I'm so happy for you.

You must be an insomniac.

-- (roland@hatemail.com), June 22, 2002.

I think you have a healthy normal revultion which is pretty common.

For centuries children were frightened into behaving by "fairy tales" which were pretty disgusting (being thrown into an oven by a witch)I believe clowns are just something that is a leftover from those days.

To me, the costumes are ugly and threatening. People hiding. People pretending. People expecting me to play along. What I think is even scarier is the people who DON't wear costumes who are "People hiding. People pretending. People expecting me to play along."

-- Cherri (whatever@who.cares), June 22, 2002.

lars be a fishin. Too many "I"s for his style.

Caught Bell on a late drive and his apparent theme song starting "Some velvet morning when I..." haunts. Anyone know the title & singer?

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), June 22, 2002.

"Like I said, I never listen to Bell"

You lyin sack o' shit! You just don't want to admit you like it because you're one of the ones who always insults his listeners and calls the liberal doomers.

Carlos,

The song is called Phaedra by Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazlewood. Good stuff.

-- lol (roloboy@lies.out.ass), June 22, 2002.

Oops, thought it was called Phaedra, it's called Some Velvet Morning.

-- (on@second.look), June 22, 2002.

Ya got me! I listened to Bell once, in 1999. Something about y2k. I listened to him on the computer because I'm not into all-night radio. T recall that Rich (Bingo) was a big Bell fan.

I'll bet you like Rense too, huh? LOL.

-- (roland@hatemail.com), June 22, 2002.

I was never around clowns growing up, but loved Halloween!

When I met my hub, his dad was with the clown unit of the Shriners. I have to tell you, most of those kids in the hospitals just LOVED seeing the clowns, and the staff loved having them! They lifted the kids spirits so much, they talked and laughed about their experiences for days afterwards.

Maybe you were just born a cynic Lars. Seeing something that may or may not be there, except in your own mind.

And yes, Roland, you're right, Rich (Bingo) was an AB fan.

-- Aunt Bee (Aunt__Bee@hotmail.com), June 22, 2002.

No, no, I hate cynicism of any kind. Cynicism is a cop-out. There is just something about clowns that troubles me (nothing against your hub). Is it the mask thing? Is it the faux-hilarity thing? I don't know, it just feels creepy. I say that as an adult. I don't remember much about clowns as a child.

Oh, I just remembered, I don't like mimes either.

-- (lars@indy.net), June 22, 2002.

Send In The Clowns

Isn't it rich, are we a pair? Me here at last on the ground, you in mid air! Send in the clowns!

------ Isn't it bliss, don't you approve? One who keeps tearing around, one who can't move!

Where are the clowns?

Send in the clowns!

-------------- Just when I stopped, opening doors finally knowin' the one that I wanted was yours, making my entrance again, with my usual flair sure of my lines, but no one is there!

----------------- Don't you love farce? My fault I fear!

I thought that you'd want what I want I'm sorry my dear!

Quick, send in the clowns . . . Don't bother . . . they're here!

------------ Isn't it rich, isn't it queer?

Losing my timing this late in my career! Where are the clowns? There's gotta be clowns!

Maybe next year. . . . maybe next year!

~ from the 1973 Stage musical "A Little Night Music" Words and Music by Stephen Sondheim, 1973

-- (lars@indy.net), June 23, 2002.

You're not crazy Lars, most people don't like clowns. Their face is painted white which is creepy by itself, which is why most people also don't like mimes. Then you have the sad smile painted on the face, or a happy smile painted while the real mouth is not smiling. This kind of image makes people uncomfortable because they cannot discern the true emotions. On top of all that, they are just plain not funny. They do very stupid things, but they are not considered funny unless you are an imbecile. The first known clown was a seriously disturbed psychopath who was mauled to death when he tried to have sex with a circus lion.

-- cyber freud (ronald mcdonald is @ child. molester), June 23, 2002.

I met a clown on halloween one year, she called herself "Twinkie the Clownette". We had a great time that night drinkin' beers and shroomin' till dawn or so. Here's the funny thing, having sex with a clown while you're tripping. It was, in a crazy kinda way very erotic and mysterious while still eliciting a chuckle and hysterical laughter. It was bar none one of the wackiest experiences I've ever had and to top it off we never revealed who we really were. Thanks for reminding me : )

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), June 23, 2002.

Clowns, aye? You should understand the ‘Cult of Clownhood’ that exists in New Orleans, and other such tourist attractions throughout the world. Here is a very mild taste of this dark story:

http://www.clownz.com/stories5.html

Look into this clown culture and you will understand. They are just a small part of the Big Show.

-- Send (mo@money.please), June 24, 2002.

In strained silence, she shoves her clown gear under the bed with her foot ...

-- helen (camo@the.camo.gear), June 24, 2002.

-- helen (tag@tag.tag), June 24, 2002.