So, my twentieth high school reunion is next weekend. Instead of admitting that I'm gloriously happy with every aspect of my humble life, I've decided to come up with as many different interesting pasts as possible and tell a different one to each person or group of people that I talk to. My first three are: Buddhist monk; Priest with a questionable past--I'm under indictment, therefore no collar; and Suicidal CEO of a failed dot-com start-up. Bren says I should tell someone how great it is to be out after all these years, you'd never think that I'd make my twentieth when I was sentenced 15 to life.

Any other good suggestions would be appreciated....

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2002

Answers

When called by the publisher for my high school alumni record, asking what I had been doing for the four years since my glorious departure, I responded immediately that I was a Llama Trainer for The Wichita South American Circus. Can't believe they printed it. I think you'd make an excellent Doctor of Internal Medicine, a fine Tailor, specializing in formal wear from the Late Rococco Period, or an entymologist. This last one might be the most fun. Start talking about the ten year study you've been conducting on the Japanese Bo Weevil, and see how long you can talk to someone before they excuse themselves. You can say that you had planned to be a scatologist, but after graduating, you discovered that the field was overcrowded.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2002

"Bren says I should tell someone how great it is to be out after all these years"

Hmmm, when I first read this I wasn't thinking of being out of jail. Of course the other would be an interesting tac.

Thank God no one tried to contact me, unless they've just given up on reunions with my class.

-- Anonymous, July 01, 2002