Whew. We have had a lot of rain, but nothing like the folks on the west side of Austin. No washing away, just lots of muck and :smiles: lots of green!

My garden is close to done for a monh or so here. I'll keep harvesting toms for two weeks and then that will be it. The cukes are kind of ruined from too much water.

On the 4th I went to my first rodeo with David. It was cool! Those guys are crazy- I can't even imagine doing any of that. That's why I like goats, they are a lot smaller and you CAN fend them off with a sick.

I have to redo some of the wiring in my lean to. I don't know what exactly is wrong, but something isn't working. Nuts.

Everything is going along just dandy here. I just have to learn to remember that people don't know alot of the stuff that I know so I don't break their brains off at the cortex and cause them to become apoplectic. ----sigh----- Oh well:). Have a good day everyone!

-- Anonymous, July 06, 2002

Answers

So my little applecart is all upset. My dog Sprocket decided to kill my kitten Velcro and that just really, really sucked. No other way to say it... I'm still a bit unsure of what I will do with Sprock and he is staying at my best friend's who hates cats and birds and doesn't have any, until I figure out what to do.

Then there is this issue of falling in love and still not the divorce be final. EEEK! They are going back and forth on custody. Even without that, the entire thing isn't something I can readily put into the analyses extractor known as my brain and make perfect sense of all of it as by it's nature it is somewhat of an illogical beast. I'm amazed people are able to give themselves up to it at all and maintain any level of sanity, and I'm also amazed to find out what a vulcan I have become! hmmmm. It's scary. Oh well-gulp.

At least David understands that-which is another weird thing:). I told him that in the past my emotions have proven to be my enemy and full of lies so I just don't trust them, and he said he was going to make a point of asking me how I "feel" about things instead of what I think about them....I thought that was pretty good:). .....or should I say "that felt pretty good"?? Guess I have been around cynicism too long.

Anyway, I have to go to KC on business and plan on stopping at my folks for two days, so David wants to come and my folks want to meet him, and so does my brother. I trust them more than I trust me, so it should be good. This is all kind of like strapping on a rocket pack and getting on the biggest water slide in the universe and lighting it off.

This week I have been blessed to speak with two of my forum friends over the phone!!! Nice to put a voice with the pictures in both cases!

I'm about ready to rip out my tomato plants, and the peppers have become somewhat mush from all the rain, so we shall see if they shape up. One of my hens went broody and hatched two chicks out way earlier than I thought, so I took them and am brooding them until she finished the rest of the eggs.

Now I gotta go tend to things-God bless all of you!

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2002

For those of you who don't know, my cat, in some kind of an apoplectic fit of jealousy or stupidity or both peed on my computer and seemingly fried it out. So I am only able to get online from work until I can fix or replace it....Grrrrrr. Anyway, I think it is really maddeningly funny that she did that. I have never heard of such a thing.

The trip went well....My folks really like David and whenever this custody deal is all worked out I'll be marrying this poor guy:). Big time crazy, but--it's like there isn't any doubt about it or choice in the matter. It seems like he knows what he's in for....and I really am starting to fall in love with his kids as well. They are super sweet. I'm going to need more prayer support than ever!

Anyway, I will try to get the puter fixed and make a real entry sometime soon. God bless all of you!

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2002

Well it sure has been awhile.

Life hasn't been a bowl full of cherries for me of late, but I am certain that this will pass in just a little while. I am reading a really good book on basically all the other things it means to have Christ as your savior. it's pretty meaty and definitely is helpful to me. I think it's called "What God wiants Christians to know about Chritianity" or something very close to that.

The weather is hot and muggy, the garden is overgrown, the critters are doing well except for a hen that I lost to heat yesterday. I know something was wrong with her, but I couldn't tell what that might be. At least I have a broody who hatched out five so I will have some replacements.

The cats are living outside and I am not angry at the one any more, but my computer is lost. I still haven't thrown it out, as there is a guy here who 'thinks' he can salvage the hard drive for me....just a matter of him getting the time to attempt it.

Nice to catch up with all of you a little bit!!!

-- Anonymous, August 12, 2002

Well things have been strage as per usual. I kind of want normalcy back, but upon reflection, there really isn't a whole lot of that in my life anyway!

I went and bought a new Mac. I have been borrowing David's computer and I absolutely HATE it. Everytime I write anything of length it eats it, and it is no where to be found, it has all sorts of trapdoors that just fall open on you when you least expect it, and it is even less enjoyable than the Mac! And yes, I would like some cheese to go along with that...:).

I am reclaiming the garden and figuring out the breeding of my goats. Then we are fencing the rear side which the neighbors cows ripped out again, and of course I am trying to get some paying work done as well.

David and I have had our first fight and our first major problem right on the heels of the 'fight'. It will be okay, and I am happy to report that I have learned some things since the last time I had a relationship!!! That's really encouraging, as I always seemed to pick the worst possible person to try to saty with.

The custody battle continues. The kids have started back at school this week, and next week is ---supposedly--- the next volley betwixt the lawyers. Man. My condolences to those of you have gone through divorce. Absolutely NO fun whatsoever.

I need to get, but I really wanted to let you all know I was still alive! God bless all of you.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2002

I'm getting a new computer. I simply can't deal with this IBM thingee. I don't know how you all do it, but it is the most frustrating thing in the world to me. If this were all there was I would simply not even have a compuyter or participate on the internet. God bless y'all for having much more patience than I do. Whew! After losing two rather long letters to some unknown mistype I just decided to bite it and get a new iobook....well, a used ibook.

Business is very slow right now. It is down by nearly 50% on retail, and 40% on wholesale. A lot of the companies are buying with credit cards and that is NOT a good sign. I am really hoping these German guys decide to buy our business and I can get out of it. It would be better if we were sales oriented, but -alas- neither my partner or I are really set up that way. Ugh.

It's been really hot and dry here...we desperately need rain again. I am two thirds done with the garden and half way done with the fencing. I am getting a whole bunch of banties from David and they should help restock my chickens. My girls are just getting older and not laying as well as they should.

Gots to get. I will try to catch up here as well, but probably when I have the ibook. This thing lost it's browser bar and won't show it again so I have to go through some contortions to get anywhere. Take care everyone!!

-- Anonymous, August 24, 2002

We got all of the fencing done except for a couple of cattle panel gates we need to hang. Whew. It has been really hot here lately and I have actually been running my airconditioner.

I still have a full day that needs to spent in the garden, but I have gotten it to the point where it isn't nearly the jungle it was! I now have a small flock of banties and one of the younger hens is already trying to set. I should have plenty of chickens with them adding to the populace now. Yipee!!!

The custody battle continues, but the home evaluation reports are in ad the rumor is that the court date should arrive fairly soon. Sophie has told me repeatedly that she wants to be just like me when she grows up, and THAT is frightening! I told her I was flattered, but thought it would be best if she was just like her when she grew up. She loves to take care of the animals and asked me if I would puhhhlease give her a doe of her own. We shall see...;). I expect that by the time she's ten she will have lost this interest, but perhaps not. Anyway, it sure is a trip to suddenly become a parental type figure. Whew. I guess I'm doing okay.

My sister Dottie has called me a few times, and she actually has been much more like herself, so I am thankful for that!!

I am concerned that Lusenet is really going to hit the wall here. Is there anyway to set up an email type of list? I do like to sneak in and find out what everyone is up to!! God bless all of you.

-- Anonymous, September 03, 2002

We are getting some rain again!!! Yeah! Since July, we haven't had any, so the poor trees and everything else were just begging for it. I will be able tto trim my goat hooves again, and I just know they are going to be thrilled with me about it. :)-

I think I'm getting cold feet over this marriage idea. I have no idea of how to deal witth lots of this stuff. See, my house is very small, but it is in the country and paid for, and David's place is in town and not even close to having anything paid on it....in otherwords, a real long way to go on it. I simply cannot live in town. I would go insane, pure and simple. But we would need to build an addition on mine, and then there is the Missouri move to consider. Yet there is still the custody battle to finish up- so all of this is jusdt thinking about things tthat I can't do anything about until I know what tthe heck I will actually be doing anyway-- -sheesh--- I just don't know.

Then there is all the stuff with the wedding plans. No date is set really, but David says Thanksgiving would be good. But I think it is going too be too soon to get that together.....I think that's his body talking more than his mind.

I guess I'm feeling overwhelmed by it all. I'm just so unaccustomed to all of this. So much of this is uncharted territory for me. I have never even felt like I "maybe" should marry anyone in the past, and the last relationship I was in was five years ago and simply hellish, so I guess I am just afraid of making the same mistakes.

Ah well. It will all sort itself out.

Meanwhile, I have a new computer that I am trying to become acquainted with. I have all the does bred already, but the garden still needs to be planted for cool weather crops. I want to rip that apart today and get several more truckloads of peanut hulls on it. We shall see if that actually happens!

I hope to be a little regualr with my posting now that I have my own machine back-it's good to hear from all of you!~

-- Anonymous, September 08, 2002

We received just about three inches of rain! I love how happy the grass begins to look after just an 1/8 of an inch or so. Watering is just a pale imitation of the blessing of real live rain. It seems like it's something like fast food to plants-keeps them alive but they don't glow with life and health. I love rain!

David bid on a painting job that would be a real boon for him to get. I'm praying he does get it, because his finances are really a mess right now, and it would be good for his self esteem to get a big job like this. Then there is the matter of finishing it, but that would be no great big problem--I could help some.

I need to get to the critters...I am kind of late! Have a great day!

-- Anonymous, September 10, 2002

I am SO thankful that yesterday passed without incident. On a national level that is.

I came home last evening to find that my does had gotten out and two of them had gorged themselves on grain. I had to flood their rumens with oil and milk them out in the stall, and seperate the other two from them just so I could stop the two piggies from eating more green stuff. It's a leftover problem from the neighbors cattle. They had taken out all of my cross fencing, and the girls went through the one iso pen (with the drooping wires) and through the next buck pen (with some more drooping wires) and pushed through the cattle panel gate. Durn it all anyway. They ripped most of the bark off of a hybrid poplar I had planted on the west side of the barn for shade. I need to see if they ringed it or not. If so, the tree will be dead before long.

I'm having guilt abpout my new computer. I really could have used the money much more wisely to pay off some debt. I'm seriously considering selling again....I do just hate this IBM format, but it is it that important to me???

David and I have been having all of these serious talks lately. Things that really need to be discussed, but aren't necessarily fun to discuss. We had a major misunderstanding. I was trying to tell him that it is really important to me to have a neat home, and he took it as saying---You are all pigs and I won't deal with that at all--- We worked that out, but it really wasn't enjoyable at all. I worry about how we are going to communicate...I thought about how that conversation went and how I perceived his flaring up. I saw it as at first he was questioning then he was arguing then he was just telling me that he didn't care what I thought or felt. He saw it as me saying straight of the bat that they were pigs and forget the whole relationship. Really unsettling. I do love the man, but we certainly have our work cut out for us from all the damages we have incurred over time. Actually, the way the conversation went is much more distressing than the subject matter.

He finally came to an understanding of what I was saying and he is going to strive to retrain himself and the kids right now. Which is admirable:). They aren't pigs, they just like to leave things lying around, and clutter actually makes me seriously nervous. If it's terribly cluttered I verge on panic attacks.There really isn't anything I can do about it. I have lived with at least thirty different people and they all had different levels of acceptable mess, and some of them I simply had to give up on. One of those is my business partner. I lived with her and other roommates for six years and frankly, she just drives me insane. I do admire her lack of attachment to her environment, but it just doesn't work for me! It's not as though I expect the baseboards to be scrubbed with toothbrushes on a weekly basis, I just can't take a bunch of stuff lying all over. A little less than desirable dirt is okay, but clutter and dirty dishes everywhere does me in.

ANYWAY----whew.

Poor David is under a lot of conviction about a lot of different things. He's a good man, but God is really working on him and he has a whole lot of things happening right now. I defintiely feel that God put us together, so I just need to rely on Him to help us work through things.

Business is slow. We have work, but it's mostly twinky little jobs. I am not sure how this is going to pan out. The German's haven't recontacted so I think the economy has scared them out of expanding their business here and thus, put them off of buying our business. So I don't know what the next steps are going to be. I am just tired of the t shirt game. I have been doing it since I was twenty, so seventeen years. Ugh.

I better get. Thanks to everyone for their prayers! I really appreciate them.

-- Anonymous, September 12, 2002