There is so much information and publicity regarding domestic violence. Where do the victims of emotional abuse go and get help. Is there any infomration, any societies, etc. How do we address these issues and let the women and men know what there are dealing with is not normal but abusive.

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2002

Answers

victims of emotional abuse need tell friends and family members,church groups,teachers and possibly a doctor.a support group that will help you to understand what is happening is wrong.you need to be clear of your relationship with the person and yourself and get them out of your life. there are places to go for women. there are usually other forms of abuse that are connected to emotional abuse.you need to be upfront with the abuser and tell them how you feel to change or simply examine the situation and leave there are also community organizations for people usually available at your doctors office or the police stations and web

-- Anonymous, August 19, 2002

I have a sister who has been maried for over 20 years! she has 1 child who is 17 who is still in high school. he has 1 more year, She has to give her pay check to her husband each pay day and he gives her so much money once its gone she gets no more until the next payday. he gets what they call trips from the church ( coupons he buys from the church) for food and gas) She gets so many trips for gas if she uses them up then she has to use use the money he give her for he week. He gos to the store with her to buy food so he has control of buying the food! When she cooks most of the time he and the son will not eat there they will leave and will go out an eat! When they go out places they Never ask her to go. If it's to go out to dinner or shoping or to go do fun thing. She is blamed for everything that goes wrong! Before the moved in there new house lighten striked in the bed on the floor by were the bed was going to be he told her that was Gods way of warning her. When she comes in from from work or being out from somewhere she comes in and says hi to both him and her son they don't say a word or even look at her. They do't talk to her the whole night long. The only thing they say to her is to get on her and to say mean things. They won't help her do anything . If she has heavy thing to carry out to her car they just ignore her and never even offer to help her. One night she was looking everwhere for her sons shool clothes so she could wash them she told me she looked ever where for a long time. She went in the livivng room and asked her son where they where and he said he didn't know. He never offered to get up to help her find them. Then she asked her husband he said they were hanging on the ironing board. So she went to look He had washed them. He had never done that before. She went back in and asked him why he didn't tell her that he washed them that he knew she was looking for them! He said he did not have to tell anybody anything that he did! She has always gone to all her sons programs at school , and helped out at school, and made his custooms for Hollween, made custumes for his animal to enter contest. She makes goodies once a month and takes to her sons job. She love her son vey much and would do anything in the world for him. Bot he is treating her just like the dad is now He want to please the dad and will not cross him for nothing. The Dad tells her in front of the son that she is not a good mother. She has always been there for her son. You no the man and her son go to church and call them self christians. I would not want to be that kind of christian. He has nothing to say good about anybody . He lives 2 mins from his family and won't go and see them. He feels he is treated unfairly. That his sister is treated better then him. That she gets everything. He looks for thing to get angyer about and will take every chance he can to take a dig at Connie!! In his eye's she can't do anything right! And he is teaching his son to beleave that too. He can't stand the fact that people like her if someone says something nice about her he has to respone with something bad or just ignore what the person says all together. She has decorated her house so nice for Christmas. She has 4 Beautful trees up she said he has not said not one word about them. Two were given to them and 2 are old but she is so good at putting things together. They look wonderful She was looking forward to having all of the family there for Christmas. It's always so cold there! As soon as you walk in the house you can feel the chill in the air ! The only warmth there is from the heat! There is no Love or Happiness all you feel is sadiness! So she wanted to bring so cheer to her home for Christmas. She told her husband she was going to have Chrismas their and he told he NO he did not want anybody there he wanted to be at home alone. She is so hurt,and embrassed. This man will do almost anything to make he life a hell. I'm not real sure why she stays! I know she does no love him anymore. I just pray the man does not got compelety off his rocker and hurt her. Because I beleive there is something really wrong with him. people just don't look for things to throw up to a persons face all the time and put them down all the time. This is only a very small amount that goes on in her house hold things go on every day. I could go on and on. But I would be here for days writing to you. I beleive in my heart nad so does he that he wants her to leave. She says this is my house too and she does not want to give it up. But, I don't see it that way I see it It's his house and she is living there and thing are his way so what would she be giving up. A least in her own apt. she could do what she wanted have over who she wanted when she wanted and not worry about someone blaming her about things going wrong all thing time. And have some peace of mind. And have a kind a warmth back in her home again. Thanks for your time. Merry Christmas and Have a Happy and Safe New Year !

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2002

I have been with my husband for 16 years. I met him in Chicago, I moved there when I was 22 years old. He has controlled me for 16 years. Everybody in my family hates him. even my cousins, aunts, and uncles. He blames me for everything. I am his scapegoat. He also treats our children very bad. Matt is 11, Michael is 3. If he has nothing to argue about, he will find something, he has to get his fix. His power over us. He is the meanest,hateful,cruelest man I've ever met. He is a MONSTER!!! I've made plans to leave,everything is underway, but he dosen't know it yet. Anybody that is in an abusive relationship, where it is, mental, verbal, emotional, whatever. you need to get out. It won't get any better. It only gets worse, they will not change. make a new start, If you don't have any material things, at least you will have pease of mind. I am living with the worse kind of abuse, I don't even know this man anymore, he calls me names, of the worse kind, he tells me that he hopes I will die of breast cancer, or that I will have a heart attack. I hear things like this everyday. and so do my children. I have stayed this long because I thought he would change, if you ignore the abuse it only gets worse, He is not living in my reality. he has his own agenda, and that is to control me, and make my life as awful as his life was when he was a child, that's where all this is coming from. But no more....

-- Anonymous, February 19, 2003

I think that one thing that people typically overlook is how verbal abuse affects the children. My father is a very overbearing man who constantly blames not only my mother, but his children for things that he has done wrong. It is a very difficult situation to deal with because he is a minister. Many people come up to me and tell me that my father is a good example of a parent. I always think to myself, you just don't know him. I think that the issues that we need to address are the basic ignorance of how much words can hurt. I am currently doing a project for speech on verbal/mental/emotional abuse and I am highly disappointed in the lack of information that has been circulated. In my opinion, getting more information out about this type of abuse is what is most needed.

-- Anonymous, March 26, 2003

I am not intending to step on toes, however, it is 2003 and as life is so short, it is hard to believe that anyone male, female would dare put up with ANY type of abuse. Been there, done that, escaped and feelin great.

-- Anonymous, March 28, 2003

I am looking at this issue from a different perspective. I am a parent who has been watching the principle at my children's school bully, and mentally and emotionally abuse children, staff and parents.This past June a large group of parents, many of whom tell a story about their hurt, damaged children, banned together and demanded that the school board remove this man. From what we can tell, they took reports of individual incidents and allowed him the opportunity to explain them away. We are trying to get them to see that this kind of abuse cannot be picked apart like that. I am currently gathering information on emotional abuse and bullying, but there seems to be little available, that has enough substance that I can use it to educate the nay sayers-the ones whose role it is to prtect the kids but are ignorant regarding the issue. If anyone has any info for me please don't hesitate to let me know.

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2003