Catholic Marrying divorced non-catholic

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A friend of mine is catholic and never been married. Her finace is Baptist and married twice. Neither was in a church, both civil ceremonies before a notary. Neither wife was catholic. First one was Baptist, the second Jewish. My friend and finace plan to marry in a catholic church (he is in the process of converting, but will not be done before wedding) and when they brought up his situation to the priest marrying them, he stated that her finace did NOT need an annullment. This was in January. Today (July 23), the priest contacted her to tell her that he does need an annulment. Her wedding is in January and all money has been paid and everything ordered. She was told the annulment would not be complete at the time of her wedding. Well it is too late to change everything and would be very expensive. If the church now refuses to conduct the ceremony, she plans to sue. The priest gave his word in January that her finace did not need an annulment and everything was fine. He even put the date and time in the book. First of all, how can he come back and say that her finace needs an annulment months after his intial response to them that he did not? Secondly, does her finace truly need an annulment? If so, is there a way around it or could it be taken care of before the wedding? If the church refuses to conduct the ceremony, not only will my friend lose her faith, but the church will be sued for a lot of money and emotional distress and the last thing the catholic church needs is more bad press. Please help me with the questions above and to help ease my friends mind and heart. Thank you.

-- Shannon (smay@huizenga.nova.edu), July 23, 2002

Answers

Shannon wrote:

"First of all, how can he come back and say that her finace needs an annulment months after his intial response to them that he did not? Secondly, does her finace truly need an annulment?"

The Church recognizes the validity of non-Catholics who marry eachother. If it didn't recognize them, all non-Catholic weddings would be fornication. So, yes, your friend's boyfriend needs an annulment.

Shannon wrote:

"If the church refuses to conduct the ceremony, not only will my friend lose her faith, but the church will be sued for a lot of money and emotional distress and the last thing the catholic church needs is more bad press."

By the tone of your post, it seems that your friend wants the Church to shut up and do what she wants. That doesn't sound like a terribly positive attitude toward the Church.

Anyway, your friend's boyfriend is, unless proven otherwise, still married. To marry a man who already has a valid wife would mean that the Church was actively supporting polygamy. A man may only have one wife. If the annulment is granted, that would mean that this man was invalidly married. God didn't recognize the marriage, because the conditions for a valid marriage didn't exist.

The Church cannot conduct a wedding ceremony when one of the individuals is married--can rejection of polygamy be grounds for a lawsuit?

I am speaking as an engaged person. We have (unfortunately!) spent a lot of money on our wedding...and we made 110% sure that we would be able to get married on the day that we picked.

If your friend's priest said that he could marry a previously married person without an annulment, he was misinformed. I don't know his exact words (nor do I know the words that your friend used to explain her situation), but it sounds as if there was a miscommunication somewhere early on.

If the money spent on the wedding is more important that the Catholic Church, then I'm sure that your friend will consider abandoning the faith to find a church that will marry her. I would recommend that she not abandon the Church, but instead work to delay her marriage until the Church has declared that her boyfriend's marriages were invalid. Considering that her wedding is still six months away, I have trouble believing that your friend's wedding vendors can't be flexible with the date, if not refund her money.

Just out of curiousity, how much lost money would make her "lose faith" in the Church? $500? $1000? $10,000?

Shannon writes:

"Please help me with the questions above and to help ease my friends mind and heart. Thank you."

We may not be able to tell your friend what she wants to hear (that the Church can marry a man who already has a wife), but there are plenty of threads here that address the issue of annulment and marriage. Check out these groups of threads for more info:

Marraige and Divorce

Annulment and Nullity

In Christ,

Mateo

-- (MattElFeo@netscape.net), July 23, 2002.


PS--the links in my previous post will not work if you are reading this in email form. You must return to the forum page to get the hyperlinks.

Enjoy,

Mateo

-- (MattElFeo@netscape.net), July 23, 2002.


Thank you for your response. They informed the priest up front before they set the date that he was divorced twice, not married in a church and neither wife was catholic. The priest gave his word in the beginning that her fiance did not need an annulment and that he would perform the ceremony. The priest never said another word until now. She has spent a lot of time and money on the wedding. The priest gave his word and is now changing what he told her. Her faith in him is threatened and that trickles down to the catholic religion as a whole. If someone came to you and approved your wedding date and six months before the day, came back to you and asked if the date was set in stone, would you not be upset? Especially after invitations have been mailed and plans made? She was 110% sure that everything was ok based on what the priest told her. She believed his word and now his word is no good. How do you expect her to feel? The one person she should be able to trust without question has failed her and now she has doubts. They did everything they were told to do and are now told that it doesn't matter. I certainly can't blame her if her faith has been shaken (yes, I am catholic).

-- Shannon (smay@huizenga.nova.edu), July 23, 2002.

Shannon writes:

"Especially after invitations have been mailed and plans made?"

Shannon, I may be focusing in on a totally non-religious thing, but who sends out all of their invitations six months before a wedding? :-) Where I live, people may choose to send out announcements at the time of engagement, but they wait to send the actual invitations until ~2 months before the wedding.

I don't want to pass judgment on the priest (or your friend), because my knowledge isn't much more than hearsay. Based on your side of the story, the priest made a error in judgment (by accepting to marry a man who is still presumed to be validly married). He has corrected his mistake 6 months before the wedding date.

If you read through the posts, you will find that many people complain that it's too easy to get an annulment from the Church. You will find a wealth of information on the subject in the links that I provided. I sincerely hope that the links help you and your friend.

If this man believes that he invalidly entered into his previous marriages, I would ask you to encourage your friend to work with her boyfriend to work with the Church to petition for a decree of nullity.

In Christ,

Mateo

-- (MattElFeo@netscape.net), July 23, 2002.


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