anyone remember cartoon sushi?greenspun.com : LUSENET : Aeon Flux : One Thread
some time in the mid nineties MTV aired "cartoon sushi", it wasn't quite liquid television, but it was close. "Slow Bob" was a strange hero with a two-headed sister, and "Angry Julies" was the other memorable toon.
-- rana the landstander (email@example.com), September 16, 2002
i wanna see the fish bar about the evil babies
-- Tom Anderson (firstname.lastname@example.org), September 26, 2002.
I loved that show! I thought the Robin shorts and the anime voiceovers were the best. But evil MTV cancelled it.
-- Jim Stern (email@example.com), September 27, 2002.
I loved that show! I miss the Robin shorts and the funny anime voiceovers. But, as we all know, MTV is evil and cancelled it.
-- Jim Stern (firstname.lastname@example.org), September 27, 2002.
Ok, just to be sure I am not crazy: Didn't one of the voiced over Anime on Cartoon Sushi star a character that resembled Michael Jackson?
-- Eggo (email@example.com), September 28, 2002.
yes, in fact it WAS supposed to be the king of pop himself. The short centered around Jackson in space and his desire to take his clothes off. It was pretty awesome. I wish there was a way to find these lost eps, but kazza keeps comming up empty and the kids at suncoast don't seem to know what i'm talking about.......Rana the landstander.
-- rana the landstander (firstname.lastname@example.org), September 28, 2002.
has anybody found a website that has pictues and stuff from cartoon sushi?
-- taro (email@example.com), January 03, 2003.
That show was funny but stupid MTV cancelled it like all its other great shows, like buzzkill TV, sifl and ollie and beavis and butthead. I like the sluaghter your meal and "I got God in my pants". There were many others but I can't remeber.
-- Nick (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 11, 2003.
HAHAHAHA. i'm so glad i've found people who share my sentiments in regards to cartoon sushi.. man i miss that show. i actually found this board via searching for info about it on google.. i really wish i could find tapes. it's funny to see you all talking about the michael jackson one.. THAT is THE funniest part of any cartoon sushi ever. we (my brother and i) had a bunch of them on tape, and that was our favorite. my friends and i still quote it to this day (about six years later). the sad thing is, the tapes we had all got taped over eventually. i wish i still had them.. i loved all the ultra city 6060's, but that one was the best. my other favorite was "fast driver," the play on speed racer. complete genius. anyway. if anyone gets any info on where we can find this stuff, email me. thanks.
-- jacob thm (email@example.com), February 05, 2003.
man i sure use to love that show . I was so pissed off when they canceled it and all my other mtv cartoons (mtv oddyteys:The Max Aeon Flux,Beavis and butt-head,etc.).Godd!!! i tell ya bro , mtv over the years has sunken a new low .Next thing ya know the sesame street pupetts are gonna have there own show : "and the host of the show ,Carson Daily " (:( ,oh brother lol .
-- jonny Greez (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 05, 2003.
Dear lord I miss that show...It was the best thing in the entire world...unfortunately though it along with my other 2 favorite shows got canceled...lifes hellish fate...
-- Brettanie Auprey (email@example.com), February 06, 2003.
could someone pppppllllleeeeeaaaaassssseee mail me and tell me why Beavis and Butthead were tooken off TV, thank you sooo much to anyone that does this. I've been trying to find out but I can't find anywhere. Please put me out of my misery and mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org and tell me why, anyone? Thank You
Beavis + Butthead fan 4ever
-- Roz (email@example.com), February 06, 2003.
Holy crap Jake, I was doing the exact same thing and I was looking for Cartoon Sushi, too! I remember some clips in this Radiohead video, when this kid chopped off this other kid's arms with an axe. And I remember this one cartoon where there's this farmer guy who chopped off a chicken's head and blood was coming out of the chicken's neck and then the farmer at it hole and spit out the legs in a jar. I would stay up really really late in the summer and I was only in 2nd grade, too.
-- Peter (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 15, 2003.
I'm in the process of moving to my own house and for the longest time, I couldn't find my old box of tapes that I recorded off of TV. It was my hobby as a child to tape all my favorite shows, one thing that I love my mom for giving me the idea :) Anyways I came across everything that is HOLY to me and perhaps most of you guys/girls. My tape of oldschool MTV (the good years), all the short animated sequences between shows that promoted MTV. Liquid TV, Cartoon Sushi, Beavis & Butthead, Oddities, celeb Deathmatch, Sifle & Ollie and many more. I almost passed out because I thought they were long gone. Believe me I relished in all my glory to make a movie marathon out of them. If there is any words of wisdom that I can give to my brothers and sisters and newcomers to silly sketch comedy, it would be to buy some cheapo blank tapes and if you have a auto record vcr that can tape on scedule then, just look at your TV guide and go to town. You will not be sorry. Its a hobby that you can look back on and laugh. I'm glad I found this website, because i feel at home with people that understand what the media lacks nowadays. I can only hope that history can repeat itself and that media will finally realize that they should bring them all back for a reunion or something. Right now I'm in the process of recording the adult swim on cartoon network. The Brak Show is my favorite. Well live well my friends and may TV treat you well.
-- Travis Drew Patterson (Sweet_venom101@yahoo.com), February 15, 2003.
http://sho.com/queerduck/ Try that link... Its the same guy that made Cartoon sushi (some of it)
-- jncokidd (email@example.com), February 22, 2003.
http://www.mishmashmedia.com/visitors.html Thats more like it..
-- jncokidd (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 22, 2003.
OMG! I love you guys! I always asked my friends about those awesome cartoons on MTV, and they had no clue what I'm talking about. And for years i was trying to remember the friggin' name! And I too am glad that there are others outthere that appreciated them! Can anyone send? let me know where to find the original copies? (oxymoron?)
I'd GREATLY appreciate it!
-- Jolene (email@example.com), February 26, 2003.
a few months ago they showed cartoon sushi on the Paramount Comedy Channel in the UK about 3am every day. There was one featuring a bird with strange eyes that kept showing it's ass to this cat, and when it did this crazy music came on!! i've seen it about 5 times now and i laugh every time!!
-- Foyf (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 09, 2003.
i love that show. if anyone has any info, add me to your address book and send me stuff. my instant message sn is muskathugsta4 or blackeye1232. i remember all of those shows. does anyone remember oddville?
-- Teroh (email@example.com), March 15, 2003.
Hey guys! A longgggg long time ago I watched Cartoon Sushi, and my dad turned it off and said "MTV IS BAD FOR YOU!!" But then when I was in 5th grade they were playing a marathon of Daria, Celebrity Deathmatch, Beavis and Butthead, and Cartoon Sushi. I stayed in the whole weekend watching all those awesome cartoons :). The cartoons I really remember though are this Spiderwoman lady ((I always thought she was SO awesome!!)) and she ALWAYS died, in every cartoon skit she was in. I also remember this thing with cavemen and the grimm reaper I think. Ohh this anime kid from a spaceship sliding down a waterfall naked. Umm, a smiley face that floated around talking and stuff. Wow I loved that show, but I remember so little from it X_X!! I think I saw a Cartoon Sushi commercial on Cartoon Network, anyone know if they're going to play it?!
-- Adina (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 28, 2003.
I think those "spiderwoman" shorts were, in fact, Aeon Flux.
-- Inu (email@example.com), March 28, 2003.
I have a quick question. Does anyone know the name of the asian kitties? I believe there was a part of cartoon sushi where they had asian kittens...
-- Niko Niko (MissNiko@zeldaclassic.com), March 29, 2003.
I'm gonna have to check out Aeon Flux...hmm
anyone remember on cartoon sushi there was this one short of a fisherman and his fishing partner asked him if he could "hold his rod" and the guy went crazy and killed him? hahahahaha...i still think of that and laugh. Then there was this other short of a floating head...and he'd just talk and talk and talk, and one time he was talking about toilets. and there were some pretty freaky claymation things too. i keep remembering more and more from the show :)
-- Adina (firstname.lastname@example.org), April 03, 2003.
Jake and Peter- It's really strange but I did the EXACT same thing as you two-- only a month later... I wonder what it is that made us all decide to seek out Cartoon Sushi... hmm... Well anyway, it was definitely an awesome show- I was pretty young when it came on so at first I had to sneak into the living room late at night to watch. When my mom found out she was so pissed that we had gotten cable... ah, childhood memories. So I will give the same shout-out that everyone else has given about getting info on this show passed on... I tried to download it through Kazaa but it couldn't find it. I would appreciate whatever info ppl have run across. Thanks much.
-- Barbara (email@example.com), April 05, 2003.
Yeeeeeeeesss!!! I too was looking for info on where to find eps of Cartoon Sushi, ah, that was the greatest show of all time! God damned MTV, I still haven't gotten over the shock of them pulling it off the air. Bastards! So yeah, if anybody knows of where to find episodes of this classic, please drop me a line! Thanks.
-- Mike (firstname.lastname@example.org), April 05, 2003.
remember the guy who couldn't find the key to his apartment? he committed suicide just to force a 'life flashing before your eyes experience' upon himself so he could remember where the fuck he put the key? or the "carrots are good for your eyes" guy who suddenly stabbed carrots thru his face?
Can anyone find clips of this stuff? Email me at Apparition@Understatement.com
-- Erik Barker (email@example.com), April 06, 2003.
Yeah, that was soooo funny! Anybody else seen the science fact cartoon, where broccoli has an IQ of ten? The ep with that skit is sadly the only episode of cartoon sushi I have left on tape. Ah the memories!
-- Mike (firstname.lastname@example.org), April 06, 2003.
Look, i think any of us who have copies of these precious Wonders of the World should take it upon ourselves to research how to get the tapes transferred onto our computers so that they _will_ be available thru Kazaa, iMesh, etc. Come on, we're smarter than Brocolli, right? regardless....i'm gonna go kill Tomato. She's a bitch.
-- Erik Barker (email@example.com), April 07, 2003.
Yeah that would be realy cool. Hmmmmm...wonder if that's posible? I'll have to look into that.
-- Mike (firstname.lastname@example.org), April 07, 2003.
I have also had a sudden surge of rememberance and missing of Cartoon Sushi, and I also am a Kazaa user. I would be incredibly ecstatic if you people who have the tapes could somehow transfer them onto Kazaa to be downloaded and shared. Love.
-- Gone (email@example.com), April 12, 2003.
Hey I thought that show kicked ass, just like liquid telivision. It sux that they don't show either of them anymore. Does anyone know where I could download episodes of cartoon sushi? Or liquid
-- Jordan J. (firstname.lastname@example.org), April 16, 2003.
Hey I thought that show kicked ass, just like liquid telivision. It sux that they don't show either of them anymore. Does anyone know where I could download episodes of cartoon sushi? Or liquid television. If anyone has any answers please email me at email@example.com
-- Jordan J. (firstname.lastname@example.org), April 16, 2003.
You're in the same boat as the rest of us, unfortunately. I'm surprised kazaa doesn't have any episodes. Oh well, guess we'll just have to play the waiting game.
-- Mike (email@example.com), April 19, 2003.
alright well i'm back for an update.. i think whoever actually owns these tapes should first and foremost start making copies.. just so you know [and this should spark an interest], you could make insane amounts of money on ebay through that. aaand on a more friendly, less greedy note, i'm discussing all of this with my girlfriend right now and she says she's heard of a service where you can get your vhs tapes professionally transferred to digital video on cds and whatnot.. the service is meant for things such as home movies, and chances are if you're trying to get a taped show onto a cd you're going to have to go through some copyright agreements or something. i'm going to further research this and i'll be back sometime in the near future with hopefully more useful information. in the meantime, get those double vcr's running, and remember to email me once you do. ; )
-- jacob thm (firstname.lastname@example.org), April 27, 2003.
I don't wanna sound like everybody else but Cartoon Sushi was the shit!! I did find the clip of that cat and the bird that kept showing his ass on kazaa but nothing else so far. I really need to see Fast Driver again though, "Racer X are you my third cousin? Ughh!!" That was by far my favorite but it was all good. And like almost everybody else I had all the episodes on tape but have somehow misplaced them over the years, FUCK! So if you guys find anything on it (especially Fast Driver) email me and I'll keep all of you guys up to date too.
-- Robert Schell (email@example.com), May 12, 2003.
hey guys whats up well guess what i taped cartoon sushi and liquid televison and have every single episode on tape iam also a multimedia student and have all the equipment to transfer them to digital video, video cd or any other video formats your heart desires. copyright issues kinda scare me so let me look into that and also if you guys want i can make a website dedicated to oldschool mtv animation.
-- Matt francis townsend (firstname.lastname@example.org), May 13, 2003.
actually there might be a few epeisodes missing here and there and some might be damaged been awhile since i gone through all those old tapes but most of them should be there in good shape
-- matt townsend (email@example.com), May 13, 2003.
All hail the Raver! Kick ass.
-- Erik (firstname.lastname@example.org), May 15, 2003.
Anyone interested int the cartoon THE MAX from liquid television, I picked up the dvd for the season at Best Buy :)
-- Joe (Someone69@yahoo.com), June 05, 2003.
yeah, cartoon sushi was mad awesome! X-D hey raver, put some episodes onto dvd or somptin' and put em' up on your website if ya ever make one! X-)
-- johnny blade (email@example.com), June 06, 2003.
Count me in if any of those episodes make it up on someone's website or server.....
-- D.N. (firstname.lastname@example.org), June 08, 2003.
BTW... I found this, guys... http://www.dvdmon.com/indexnew.cfm?varArea=petitions
Sign the petition to get the show released on DVD..!
-- D.N. (email@example.com), June 08, 2003.
I have an episode of Liquid Television on vhs..I got it from best buy i think..Its rare but ebay sometimes has episodes up for auction..But cartoon sushi my personal fav is a lost cause..ive searched EVERYWHERE online and in stores..ive even emailed mtv personally..nothing..I'm not saying anything that hasnt been said before but if anyone finds anything or has copies please post it here and share the good news with all of us..Thanx..u guys rock!
-- Kristen (Insaneins0mniac@aol.com), June 08, 2003.
I remember but I only saw a couple shows. I remember the Michael Jackson thing, a piece of the Iria dub about the Gap, a bird in love with a cat who lived in a tree, this "pull my finger" thing with two animals, and Fast Driver. That overhead shot with the sperm on the road...ah memories. I hope I'm not getting any of that mixed up with Liquid Television.
-- ErinT (firstname.lastname@example.org), June 17, 2003.
I loved that fricken show! Robin was my favorite and for years and years I've been seeking out episodes of Cartoon Sushi. I've looked online so many times before. Yeah, I found this through google too. MTV sucks, they had all kinds of good shows. I remember Aeon Flux, that really rocked! Cartoon Sushi was my favorite! If anyone has any info whatsoever please please PLEASE! contact me! My e-mail is below!!!
-- Danielle T (email@example.com), June 23, 2003.
Hell Yeah!! I'm so glad I found some people who know what the good shows were. The first time I saw cartoon sushi was when I was spending the night with my cousin and we had the late night giggle hysteria thing going. We laughed about that episode (with a rabbit?) for weeks after and we still bring it up now and then.....would love to get an episode!!!!!
-- shannon (firstname.lastname@example.org), July 07, 2003.
that was the best show! i want to find some episodes or names of the artists becasue i remember very distinctly there was one about a lost/missing boy and during halloween he's dressed up as a scarcrow and kills a man in an ally and then grins viciously, it was my favorite. anyone know where i can get some names and pictures?
-- katy (Dip art email@example.com), July 15, 2003.
hehe, i remember the episode about the guy who was in "eternity", and it was sketch drawing kinda thing, and he was scraping and crawling through what looked like a desert with a big talking rock chained to his leg.
ah the memories.
anyone remember the boris the dog skit? the children's story where everyone ended up dying in really horrible ways?
-- joshua* (firstname.lastname@example.org), July 28, 2003.
MTV should release the episodes on DVD! I loved Cartoon Sushi, the few episodes I was lucky to catch. It would be nice if MTV could show music videos and animation again instead of all this pop shit. I guess that's the garbage that sells though. Bummer.
-- Mike Young (email@example.com), July 28, 2003.
I would do just about anything to get my hands on all the shorts of UltraCity 6060...
-- Ivy Stone (firstname.lastname@example.org), July 29, 2003.
I also loved the show. My brother and I watched it all the time, secretly staying up late. Go to the site www.dvdmon.com and click on petitions and sign the petition to get the shows released to dvd. It's a start. I was #8133. All I have to say is... "I am Broccoli! I am the smartest vegetable! I have an IQ of 10, 10 I tell you!" ..."You dare defy Broccoli!?!"
-- Laura Stead (email@example.com), September 01, 2003.
I sure do remember it, because I did the voice for broccoli, the world's most intelligent vegetable, and that was probably the most fun I've ever had. Let me know if you need a voice over for anything like broccoli.
-- (firstname.lastname@example.org), September 02, 2003.
Well fellow lovers and fans of the sadly departed "cartoon sushi" I bring you good news!! I left a line here in febuary and now that I'm all settled down i've returned to this not-forgetten post board to bring smiles to all of are faces. Going through all of my old cassettes i've managed to lable them accordingly and have counted almost every episode there is of Cartoon Sushi, your favorites and more. Now i'm pretty descend with electronics and I place and oath on my life to deliver these beautiful and kickass works of art to the world wide web and especially to all of the fans who have posted a word or two. So once this is complete i will e-mail you all a notice as to where to get them. So the wait is almost over. You can relish in success and happiness. on a side-note i really hope they make a new MTV channel and call it oldschool MTV, that would be "hella" cool.
-- Travis Patterson (email@example.com), September 12, 2003.
Hook me up when you get all those episodes online.
-- Kyle (firstname.lastname@example.org), September 20, 2003.
Definitely email me that shit. I want it.
-- Robeast (email@example.com), September 21, 2003.
Incedible! I've been searching for cartoon sushi episodes for freakin months now. If you ever get them from video to your computer I have found the best place to share them is on suprnova.org and you'll need a program called BitTorrent. You truly are the man.
-- Iggy (firstname.lastname@example.org), September 25, 2003.
Well crew, i just wanted to let you know that the process is in motion, i have 3 hours ready to go for sure and it's marvelous and crisp. So I wasn't joking around. Now i want us all to share this as much as we can, i haven't found a decent way, because they are pretty big files to download, so perhaps ill put it em on cd. SO if you want a piece of history e-mail me and ill figure out how we can be happy, now we all want free stuff, but i'm guessing i'll be going through tons of cd's so there might be a small fee at least, so i can buy more blanks cd's but i'm sure you will feel that it is worth it. I might also put some up on the net so that you can get a taste before you buy. Check back once and a while to see whats happening.
-- Travis P. (Sweet_venom101@yahoo.com), September 28, 2003.
Hey sweet venom, I've emailed u a couple of times but I never heard a response back from u. Anyway I posted a few months ago and I'm INTERESTED AS ALL HELL in these. Putting them on a CD sounds like a brillian idea. Charging a small fee is a smart idea. Well you have lots of people interested in what your offering. You kick severe ass. Maybe you accidently deleted my e-mails because you didnt recognize my screen name. Anyway I'll try emailing u again and see how that goes. Thanks for doing this for all of us!!
-- Kristen (email@example.com), September 30, 2003.
Cartoon Sushi kicked major ass. If anyone can hook us up with episodes that would be awesome. I really think they need to release the series on DVD though.
-- Zo (firstname.lastname@example.org), September 30, 2003.
I love cartoon sushi. I hate it that mtv gets rid of all of the classics like beavis and butthead, silf n olly, etc. I wish there was a channel called "MTV Old Skool Toons". please email me too sweet venom.
-- jamesddog30 (email@example.com), October 05, 2003.
I absolutely loved the "Dirdy Birdy" with the bird that kept mooning the cat. Hey Sweet Venom, I would be totally willing to pay for the episodes on CD or for download or whatever. Just let me know!
-- Jessie Whitaker (firstname.lastname@example.org), October 06, 2003.
I think, by far, that the Halloween episode was definatley my favorite
Remember the Scarecrow and Jackolantern claymation sketch
"Who can i scare today, who can i scare today?"
-- Dave Winfrey Jr. (email@example.com), October 07, 2003.
CARTOON SUSHI PROGRESS: Well I finally found the right compression codec that i needed. "Thank-you Divx" so the files aren't gonna kill your hard drive now instead of 1 GB per episode, down to 45 MB. So i can squeeze quit a bit on a cd with great quality. It's only a matter of time now. I keep us all in touch though.
-- Travis (firstname.lastname@example.org), October 08, 2003.
I remember the Halloween episode because I still have it om VHS from the '97 WEIRD ASS CARTOONS WEEKEND hosted by Jay(Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob(Kevin Smith) from movies like DOGMA. The sketch with that grasshoper like sandman character who stole the kid's eyes scared the crap out of me, and the Scarcrow and Jack'o'Latern sketch was hillarious. They also showcased the intro to Oddworld:Abe's Oddysey for the playstation in that episode. I remember all the episodes that I watched after some friends and I cleaned out a bunch of old VHS tapes from an aquantance who passed away, among them were episodes of Daria, Beavis and Butthead, Cartoon Sushi, The Maxx, The Head,Aeon Flux, and Liquid Television. We all got together with food, alcohol, among other things to watch all the episodes. I returned the tapes to his brother in Pheonix and only copied 2 episode of Liquid Television. I was fifteen when that happened and I'm seveteen now, and of all the cartoons that have introduced my to independent productions that was by far the best.
-- C.K. James (email@example.com), October 09, 2003.
It is nice to see others who are in search of the cartoon sushi episodes, I have been searching for a long time now. Through much time and effort , i bring you all somewhat of an answer. Spike and Mike's Festival of Animation and Sick and Twisted series features some of these. I know that festival of animation vol 3 and one of the sick and twisted volumes has the cat in the tree episode. You can purchase all of these on spikeandmike.com . All of them are on vhs and most on dvd as well. Hope this info has been helpful.
-- Jub Jub (DerGolem07@yahoo.com), October 10, 2003.
Damn boys and girls....i'm gettin' all teary-eyed. *sniff*
To think that this long-empty void in my soul is _so_ close to... *huuh..sniff*..to being filled. Wow, so many to thank, and i didn't even write out a speech or anything. I...uh, I mean...I really love you guys, you know? And, i just feel like my life is really _worth_ something again. Man, so close to closure, finally....if the anxiety doesn't kill me first; In which case i'll just have to pay close attention to my life flashing before my eyes. Maybe i'll catch a few episodes. :D
Anyone know the word for "life flashing before your eyes"? There's got to be one, right?
-- Erik (firstname.lastname@example.org), October 12, 2003.
Katy, The Halloween ep you speak of is called "Season's Greetings" by Michael Dougherty. You can watch it on his web site.
-- Erik (email@example.com), October 12, 2003.
Mtv also needs to release Oddville. Other than Cartoon Sushi, Liquid TV, and Sifl & Olly, that was my favorite.
-- zo (firstname.lastname@example.org), October 21, 2003.
I remember Oddville. A bunch of freaks came out and did stunts... I think thats how it went. The host was sortof a nerd if I remember correctly..
-- Jordan (CartmanPA2003@altoonarail.net), October 22, 2003.
Yeah, Oddville was great. Usually they would have one celebrity and a bunch of other people, doing anything from blowing spit bubbles to body contortion.
-- Sam (email@example.com), October 22, 2003.
last nite i had this random vivid memory of the halloween special of cartoon sushi where a birdman steals a kids eyes. me and my girlfriend have been searching for more info about it. it looked identical to a) 'vincent' by tim burton and b) kleenex commercials. anyone with more info about the freaky birdman who steals the kids eyes shout me a holler
-- austin (firstname.lastname@example.org), October 23, 2003.
Dude i love u guys
-- jimmy wilson (email@example.com), October 24, 2003.
you ever seen that episode where andrew takes care of patsy by her her over the head with a sledge ..... man that was so cool
-- jimmy wilson (chand @aol.com), October 24, 2003.
man i saw that show to thats crazy u guys are crazy haha just kiddin my frind told me to come here hes really cool he has a s1244fifteysix mountain bike crap!!!!
-- johnson wadam (firstname.lastname@example.org), October 24, 2003.
I love all of those shows. my favorite was sifle and ollie does anyone have those one tape? I will pay!!!
-- riki (email@example.com), October 24, 2003.
I have all of Sifl and Olly on my computer, and you can buy the unreleased third season at sifl-n-olly.
-- skye (firstname.lastname@example.org), October 24, 2003.
ebay has all episodes of sifl and olly for very cheap. like 30 dollars.
-- Jordan (CartmanPA2003@altoonarail.net), October 26, 2003.
You can download that shit, man. Don't pay!
-- Roger (email@example.com), October 29, 2003.
Roger from what I've seen, I can't download cartoon sushi. I havent been able to find it anywhere. I dont feel comfortable downloading things because then if my computer crashes or something, whatever I downloaded will be lost. Downloads also take up a lot of memory. I think that if cartoon sushi was so readily available no one would be paying for it but its near impossible. It would just be better to have these episodes on CD rather then saved to your computer. Same thing goes for Sifle and Olly
-- Kristen (firstname.lastname@example.org), November 03, 2003.
The following is an email i wrote to sweet_venom but his email addy doesnt work, so i'm gonna post it here and hope he reads it:
I was just readin thru the greenspun board bout u trying to find a means to distribute the Cartoon Sushi episodes and figured I'd try and drop you a line to see if u answer your emails. I run a little webserver on my computer and thought i'd volunteer my services to ya free of charge. The url is http://www.skankypickle.sytes.net. It's down as of this moment, but i'll get it up tonite. I can only guarantee that it will be up until late next month cuz im going to Iraq in Januaray and I'll have to pack all my shit up in my room (I'm in the army). Hopefully by that time, I'll find a buddy who can host it for a year for free or else we might just have to hope that that's enough time to get them to enough people so they'll be available on Kazaa. If this sounds like a plan to you hit me back and a I'll tear down the site i have up now and put a badass page to host them on. If this isnt the way you want to go, then definately hit me back with information on how i can get them on cd from ya (I'll pay whatever). - Jeff (skankypickle)
-- skankypickle (email@example.com), November 09, 2003.
Remember the clip of the man pulling an alien character sitting on a block of stone? I would do anything to see that clip again. It was amazing.
I have a couple Gigabytes of extra bandwidth per month on my webserver and I would be more than willing to host the files for free for all of us. If I find some copies I'll let you guys know, or if you have copies maybe we can arrange something.
-- roy bot (firstname.lastname@example.org), November 13, 2003.
IT's DONE IT's DONE!!! Well i finished everything and anything that I could find that had to do with Cartoon Sushi and it's counterparts. So i'm posting this for any of the lost souls that I haven't already e-mailed about owning these things on CD. This is what I have to offer: 10 out of the 12 episodes of cartoon sushi (good quality) 50 MTV animated promo's (clips that represented MTV), 4 rare Aeon Flux episodes (AKA "Death's of Aeon Flux"), 1 Episode of Sifl & Olly (star wars episode) Robin Music Video (Paranoid Android by-RADIOHEAD) Last glimpse of where MTV going bad (TRL INTRO) and 2 Episodes of The MAXX. I wanted to make up for the 2 lost episodes of cartoon sushi. With this collection you can rejoice and feel whole once again. So if I have already e-mailed you then your good, if not then do so if you want to be able to enjoy this piece of history that we all have a place for in our hearts! E-mail me.
Sex, Love, and Rock n'Roll - Travis
-- Travis (Sweet_venom101@yahoo.com), November 16, 2003.
i want i want email me the details some one should do this with aeon flux and liquid t.v.
-- Isaac Rowles (email@example.com), November 16, 2003.
oh my god ive been looking for cartoon sushi for years, please please email me...
ill email you too!!! oh i hope this is the end of my search
-- Tim (Timoteo14@excite.com), November 18, 2003.
for a long time i couldnt figure out why i was warped but after reading this forum i now remember, i watchex all this violent shit and i have no regrets I LOVE BEING WARPED its separted me from the rest of the sheep. anyways anyone remember this cowboy western guy chopping off some buiness mans head or shooting him up or anyone remember an episode of some guy trying to sleep and hes in this like little box surrounded by other noisy characters like a phones ringing and a babys crying and all types of noisy stuff is going on then he yell QUIETTTTT and there like quiet for 5 seconds then they all start making noise again.
-- im warped (firstname.lastname@example.org), November 28, 2003.
Hello! I, too, remember cartoon sushi and a few of those great shows. all I can remember of cartoon sushi is the episode of the guy who makes coffee tables, the Paranoid Android music video and one other episode of those same cartoon characters, the life-span of a may fly, a rockstar unzipping his pants, an anime voice over, and brocoli!
Though beavis and butthead (my favorite besides cartoon sushi) is easy to find on kazaa, cartoon sushi - as I've read that I'm not the only one who noticed - is not. I think that not only should cartoon sushi be released on dvd, but that we should all work together to bombard adultswim with emails requesting that they air the show.
I don't understand why it is so hard to find episodes of this show in any form, but what mystifies me even more is no one can even find out WHY they are not to be found. I think that they owe us at least that much.
I laughed as I've read that others had to sneak around their parents to watch the show, as my brothers and I had to do the same thing.
And, Sweet Venom - I've emailed you requesting information on getting all of those shows and clips on a cd from you, but from what I've read of these posts other people had trouble getting a response from you, so I too post my request here. I would like to buy a copy of those shows from you, please tell me how. And thank you for being an answer to my prayers and the prayers of all of us!!!
-- Joseph Paul Douzat (NoldorKng@yahoo.com), November 29, 2003.
hell yeah i've been searching for hours tring to find some damn pics of the MAX and i can't find shit if anyone has information on the subject please please hit me
-- courtland duncan (email@example.com), November 29, 2003.
If you go to Google Image Search and type in "the maxx" you'll get a few pix.
-- Ashly Kehl (firstname.lastname@example.org), November 30, 2003.
does anyone know where i can get episodes of sifle and ollie? i regret not recording them "back in the day" when i had the chance.
-- (email@example.com), December 05, 2003.
With BitTorrent you can get the first two seasons of sifl and olly. If you really like them, I suggest buying the third season from their official website.
-- skye (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 05, 2003.
my personal favorite cartoon from Cartoon sushi was "Johnny Hard to kill"
-- (email@example.com), December 05, 2003.
Dude, I love you guys. I only saw one episode. "fast driver" and havn't stopped thinking about it for years. I just remembered it while watching speed racer on tv. and googled it. The person with them on their computer, could you burn them to a cd for me? I would GLADLY buy it for a reasonable price. THANKS EMAIL ME BACK THE ANSWERS!
-- Henry (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 06, 2003.
while we are on the subject, does anyone remember a claymation short which aired on MTV as part of a marathon (CELebration??) about a boy named Ricardo (adventures of ricardo??).one short was about his birtday and he wanted a sundae as dinner at a restaurant, he also talked about madonna (and her book sex) and the incredible hulk in another short. Please Ive been searching for years and years and am curious if anyone has any info on it. HELP PLEASE!!!!!! email me+post
-- john (email@example.com), December 09, 2003.
Whoever wants these epidoes, email Travis (sweetvenom) and get them from him. I just got the CDs from him the other day and theyre AWSOME. He's trustworthy and wont steal ur money. All the best episodes are on these CDs plus other stuff. For $20 u really cant go wrong. Its so nice having these in my possession again. Thanks Travis!!! Great job! ;-)
-- Kristen (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 28, 2003.
I have the Vhs of the maxx now that i see some people have an interest ill encode it.
also the best cartoon sushi is the one where man is trying to levitate milk and is crushed by cows.
I also had the entire cartoon sushi weekend recorded but my friends girlfrend destroyed the tapes... If anyone wants to help me start a hate group agenst her let me know.lol
-- Ted williams (email@example.com), January 05, 2004.
Some company should put the episodes out on DVD. This is ridiculous, I need those cartoons; cartoons nowadays are too lame, they won't even show much blood... pathetic. I still remember the one scene where this old lady dies with her cat at the bottom of the bed, and she asks St. Peter to send her back for her cat desperately needs her. Funny thing is, when she returns to her body, it seems the cat's doing just fine finding food as it had already devowered her lower body. GREAT SHIT!!!!
-- Ken K. (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 07, 2004.
I think after reading this long list of responses I would like to remind you all that there is petition that you can sign online that will later be sent to MTV.............So sign the damn thing already! Just go to Google's search engine and type in, mtv cartoon sushi, and it will take you right there.
READ THIS MESSAGE!!!!!!!!!READ THIS MESSAGE!!!!!!!!!!!READ THIS MESSAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- Kristy Seeger (email@example.com), January 09, 2004.
I know I personally have signed the petition numerous times on different screen names. I've signed those online petitions for different causes. But they dont actually do anything.
-- Kristen (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 14, 2004.
MTV2 is playing an animation weekend... Just like the old days. i looked at my guide and saw that all they are playing is a few Aeon flux episodes, and a bunch of celebrity deathmatch, 3 south, beavis and butthead, and spiderman... Its good, but where is cartoon sushi, and all the other old stuff?
Check it out Febuary 7 starting at 7 pm and continuing onto saturday Febuary 8th. None on sunday :(
-- Jordan (email@example.com), February 01, 2004.
THIS E-MAIL CONTAINS ALL INFORMATION CONCERNING PAYMENT AND SHIPPING FOR THE PRODUCT OF: CARTOON SUSHI
The time has finally arrived my friends, you now can own your very own piece of Cartoon Sushi that aired on MTV in the late 90's. Below is everything that is being offered to you and all info concerning shipment and payment. I've had experience with E-Bay and other online sales, so I've done this before and I assure you 100% satisfaction. I'm posting this because It's seems I have a problem with my E-Mail Address. I appologize for that, So this post will let you purchase all the file on CD in grade A quality. You don't have to cry anymore.
ITEMS OFFERED: 2 CD'S FOR $16.00 WHAT'S ON CD'S: 10 EPISODES OF CARTOON SUSHI (5 ON EACH) 4 EPISODES OF AEON FLUX (2 ON EACH) 2 EPISODES OF THE MAXX (1 ON EACH) 1 EPISODE OF SIFL & OLLY ROBIN MUSIC VIDEO (RADIOHEAD) 50+ MTV PROMO'S
Total approximate time of CD's: 4.5 Hours. *Now* In Divx AVI and WMV!! SHIPPING TERMS: US shipping and handling is a flat $4.00 per package/shipment, 2 CD's. 1-3 CD's 1st Class Mail (2-7 days). 4 or more CD's ship Media Mail (7-15 days). All CD's are shipped in SlimSheath cases, with labels. With Protective Shipper. PAYMENT TERMS:
**For Instant Payment Click the" Paypal Link "located on the bottom of this document.**
You will receive an E-mail confirming the receipt of your payment. Any questions, please feel free to email at any time. ! ALL SALES ARE FINAL !
NOTICE: After a title search of the Library of Congress Copyright records, no copyright exists on this material; therfore making these CD's Public Domain. These CD's do not violate any copyright laws, and are in compliance with policies regarding Public Domain material.
PAYPAL: CLICK LINK TO PURCHASE NOW!!!! "https://www.paypal. com/xclick/business=sweet_venom101%40yahoo. com&undefined_quantity=1&item_name=Cartoon+Sushi+Collection&item_numbe r=1992&amount=20.00&no_note=1¤cy_code=USD&lc=US" target=_blank>https://www.paypal.com/xclick/business=sweet_venom101% 40yahoo. com&undefined_quantity=1&item_name=Cartoon+Sushi+Collection&item_numbe r=1992&amount=20.00&no_note=1¤cy_code=USD&lc=US
-- Travis (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 03, 2004.
I'm sorry about the above address, "CLICK THE LINK BELOW" TO PURCHASE CARTOON SUSHI: http://www.paypal.com/xclick/business=sweet_venom101% 40yahoo. com&undefined_quantity=1&item_name=Cartoon+Sushi+Collection&item_numbe r=1992&amount=20.00&no_note=1¤cy_code=USD&lc=US
-- Travis (email@example.com), February 03, 2004.
I can only hope this link works, I'm sorry for the nagging space this takes up :( E-mail me if this link doesn't work. Thanks
-- Travis (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 03, 2004.
hey, MTV2 is playing an animation weekend... Just like the old days. i looked at my guide and saw that all they are playing is a few Aeon flux episodes, and a bunch of celebrity deathmatch, 3 south, beavis and butthead, and spiderman... Its good, but where is cartoon sushi, and all the other old stuff?
Check it out Febuary 7 starting at 7 pm and continuing onto saturday Febuary 8th. None on sunday :(
-- Jordan (email@example.com), February 04, 2004.
Hey, sweet venom101. Does that cd have the episode with brocolli on the game show and the one with the emperor penguins? If it does, I'm in for sure. Thanks
-- Rich Alix (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 05, 2004.
Some Sushi that never goes bad.
-- Ashley Fox (email@example.com), February 06, 2004.
On the cd's your selling, do you contain the episode that has Lily And Bob's blind date (Caffine Reaction). That skit cracked me up and I would be intrested in buying from you if ya got it. Thanks a ton.
(www.boleespears.com) My website
-- Bolee (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 06, 2004.
Here is a list of the episodes in the collection above that you can purchase through paypal. This isn't the complete collection but this is the closest one you'll find. SWEET_VENOM101 TRAVIS
(ROBIN SPECIAL) Drafted, The Bums, Plastic Surgery, Party With A Chair, Frogman, The Record Company, Mooning (6/27/98)
(MTV#102) Ultracity 6060:"no lip-syncing", Farcus, Robin:"partying", The Many Deaths Of Norman Spittal, Pull My Finger, Science Facts: "broccoli has an IQ of 10", Knock Yer Brains Out!, Penguins: A Documentary,Cartoon Girl:My Most Embarrasing Moment, Howl, The Many Deaths Of Norman Spittal, Ultracity 6060:"farting", Space War (weird alien invasion thing), The Many Deaths Of Norman Spittal, The Untalkative Bunny:"telespammer" (3/28/98:)
(MTV#104) Man's Best Friend by Ben Gluck, Dream Boy:"Too Much Shit", "The Champ in: Snapper Bob", The Many Deaths Of Norman Spittal, Day Of The Monkey, Celebrity Deathmatch: Marilyn Manson Vs. Charles Manson, Robin:"sunglasses", Ultracity 6000:Planet Jackson (11/30/97:)
(MTV#107) Movie Intro, Killing Heinz [guy keeps almost getting killed] , Gabola The Great [magician decapitates rabbit], Robin: Shopping ["God in my trousers"], Where's The Bathroom, Love Stinks [farting wedding],Open Mic Fright, Fishbar: Episode 1: Evil Babies In Colorado; Sex & Violence [Plymptoons]: The Animal Lover, Doctors Say Carrots Are Good For Eyesight; Celebrity Deathmatch: Kathie Lee Gifford Vs. Howard Stern, The Coolest Water Conditioner In The World 6/28/98:)
(MTV#108) Beat The Meatles, Science Facts!:Mayfly, Sex & Violence [Plymptoons]: A Person With Confused Priorities (x3), Husband And Wife, The Cheerleader, Receeding Hairline, Old Proverb: He Who Laughs Last Laughs Best], Ultracity 6060:Food Court [Zeriam spoof?], Ye Olde Woodshoppe, Great True Moments Of Rock And Roll History:"Jim Morrison Arrested For Indecent Exposure", Sea Slugs, Performs Art-Starring Chainsaw Bob, Zerox & Mylar, Robin:The Dentist, Frogg's Trip To The Sun (6/11/98:)
(MTV#109) One Ration Under God; Great True Moments In Rock N' Roll History: "guy who needs to urinate invents The Pogo", "Monkees fans boo Jimi Hendrix off the stage"; Sex & Violence [Plymptoons]: The Lost Key, Rollerblading, The Beachcomber, A Serious Alarm Clock, Very Sexy Shoes, What Are These People Doing?..., After 30 Some Body Parts Contuine To Grow, A Dip In The Pool, The New Extreme Sport...; Cartoon Girl: Nothing I Like Better, Lily And Jim [blind date, caffeine reaction] (6/18/98:)
(MTV#110) Dream Date, Soda Pop, Pariah The Red Man, Who Calcultta The Cheese, A Brief History Of Cinema, Awkward Stage, Burglar Alarm, Elevator Guy (New?:6/25/98:)
Howie Hurls: Abducted, Science Facts!, Dirdy Birdi, Voice B Gone, Espresso Depresso, Fluffy, Stupid For Love, Casting Call, Robin (7/17/97:On FOX#276)
(Halloween Special)The Sandman, Smile, Stick Figure Theatre:"Alfred Hitchcock:Psycho", Oddworld: Abe's Oddessey, Mad Doctors Of Borneo, Stick Figure Theatre: Night Of The Living Dead, Season's Greetings (10/31/97:)
Ultracity 6060:"profane stand-up comedian", Great Moments In Rock And Roll History:Elvis Meets Nixon... (10/3/98:)
-- Travis (email@example.com), February 08, 2004.
I almost forgot an important episode, "Rent" involving 3 puppets that must pay their landlord, it's a great one. This is also included along with 4 Episodes of the MAXX and 4 Episodes of Aeon Flux plus an episode of Sifl and Olly (starwars). This should answer all questions concerning the Cartoon Sushi Collection. Thanks for your time and I'd like to thank the moderator for all the space i've consumed. TRAVIS
-- Travis (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 08, 2004.
YOU GUYS, they are having an mtvtoonfest on mtv2 this weekend. watch!!!
-- Adina (email@example.com), February 08, 2004.
Oh my god, I loved cartoon sushi. I remember a short were there was an old lady and she had a cat named Puss Puss. I also miss sifl and olly. Stupid MTV, all they care about is making money off of their reality shows.. BAH!
-- Anna (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 08, 2004.
Which episode of cartoon sushi is it where the man is crawling through eternity dragging a rock while being taunted by this unknown being thing. let me know dudes, i've trying to find this out for years. thanks.
-- Matt Savelli (email@example.com), February 11, 2004.
That one stuck in my mind, too. Don't know how to find it, though.
-- Lavender Gray a.k.a. Frostbite (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 12, 2004.
Still looking for the name of the cartoon with the sketch drawing man crawling through eternity. if anyone has information about the artists name or the name of the cartoon please let me know.
It would be greatly appreciated. Thankx brothers and sistas
-- Matt SAvelli (email@example.com), February 12, 2004.
Matt, I know what Cartoon you're talking about. It's on one of the CDs that sweetvenom is selling. I just watched it to see if information about it was given at the end, but the ending credits werent recorded. If u buy the cartoon sushi episodes from sweetvenom u can have it, but I have no idea what the name of it or who the artist is or anything. Sorry.
-- Kristen (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 18, 2004.
oh i've never seen it before, but... ^^ I'd found a link to download Epi.1-10 of that show (i load and load and load ;) *giggle* Ehm, but i remember slif an olli, too. ^^ "Call call call, call from the public, call call call, call! *batsh*" ^^ I've lol-d for days :P So... if somebody wanna download it... *twink* (PS: don't know, how long the download will be exist :P)
-- Smothhase (email@example.com), February 22, 2004.
hey i remember an episode on mtv once with a girl who worked in a space ship and she got drunk and started talking to herself and kept claiming she wanted onion rings. she also kept saying talia beautiful, everybody loves talia? i think? what is this? am i crazy?
-- sara (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 27, 2004.
Hey, in case anyone's thinking of getting the CDs from Travis (email@example.com), I'll testify that he's legit-- I just got mine in the mail.
Some of the episodes start late/end early and have some VHS noise in them, but all the bits I was looking for are there, so I'm happy :)
He also included a bunch of the old MTV logo spots and some episodes of The Maxx, Aeon Flux, and Sifl and Olly.
-- Dave (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 27, 2004.
How much did it cost to receive the CD in the mail? And shows were on there?
-- James (email@example.com), March 27, 2004.
Indeed, it was this very rule which Jesus's own parents (Joseph and Mary) had themselves broken. And this was the reason why the Jews were split in opinion as to whether Jesus was, in fact, their true Messiah. When a dynastic child was conceived at the wrong time of year, the mother was generally placed in monastic custody for the birth so as to avoid public embarrassment. This was called being 'put away privily' and Matthew states quite plainly that, when Mary's pregnancy was discovered, 'Joseph, her husband, being a just man and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily'.
In this instance, special dispensation for the birth was granted by the angelic priest Simeon who, at that time, held the distinction of 'Gabriel', being the archangel in charge. The Dead Sea Scrolls detail that the archangels (or chief ambassadors) were the senior priests at Qumrân who retained the traditional Old Testament titles of Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Sariel, etc. In the case of Jesus and Mary Magdalene, however, the rules of wedlock had been obeyed to the letter, and their first child was properly conceived in December AD 32, to be born in September AD 33.
From the moment of a dynastic birth, the parents were physically separated - for six years if the child was a boy and for three years if the child was a girl. Their marriage would only be recommenced at the designated 'time of restitution'. Meanwhile, the mother and child would enter the equivalent of a convent and the father would enter the 'kingdom of heaven'. This kingdom was actually the Essene high monastery at Mird, by the Dead Sea, and the ceremony of entry was conducted by the angelic priests under the supervision of the appointed Leader of the Pilgrims. In the Old Testament book of Exodus, the Israelite pilgrims were led into the Holy Land by a cloud and, in accordance with this continued Exodus imagery, the priestly Leader of the Pilgrims was designated with the title 'Cloud'.
So, if we now read the Acts verses as they were intended to be understood, we see that Jesus was taken up by the Cloud (the Leader of the Pilgrims) to the kingdom of heaven (the high monastery), whereupon the man in white (an angelic priest) said that Jesus would return at the time of restitution (when his earthly marriage was restored).
If we now look at St Paul's Epistle to the Hebrews we discover that he explains the said Ascension event in some greater detail. Paul actually tells of how Jesus was admitted to the priesthood of heaven when he actually had no entitlement to such a sacred office. He explains that Jesus was born (through his father Joseph) into the Davidic line of Judah - a line which held the right of kingship but had no right to priesthood, for this was the sole prerogative of the line of Aaron and Levi. However, says Paul, a special dispensation was granted, and that 'for the priesthood being changed, there is made of necessity a change also of the law'. As a result of this express change of the law, it is explained that Jesus was enabled to enter the kingdom of heaven in the priestly Order of Melchizedek.
In September AD 33, therefore, the first child of Jesus and Mary Magdalene was born, and Jesus duly entered the kingdom of heaven. There is no reference to this child being a son (as there is for the two subsequent births) and, given that Jesus returned three years later (in AD 36), we know that Mary must have had a daughter on this occasion.
By following the chronology of the Acts, we see that in September AD 37 a second child was born, followed by another in AD 44. The period from the first of these two births to the second restitution in AD 43 was six years, which denotes that the AD 37 child was a son. This fact is also conveyed by the use of cryptic wording - the same cryptic wording afforded to the AD 44 child - so we know that this third child was also a son.
In accordance with the scribal codes interpreted from the Dead Sea Scrolls, everything cryptic within the New Testament is set up beforehand by some other entry which explains that the inherent message is 'for those with ears to hear'. Once these codes and allegories are understood, they never ever vary. As Dr Thiering has pointed out, they mean the same thing every time they are used, and they are used every time that same meaning is required. For example, the Gospel of John explains that Jesus was called the 'Word of God': 'And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us'. John goes to great lengths to explain the relevance of this definition and subsequent entries give details such as 'the Word of God stood by the lake' and 'the Word of God was in Samaria'.
Messages conveying information about fertility and new life are established in the Parable of the Sower, whose seed 'bore fruit and increased'. Thus,when it is said that 'the Word of God increased', those 'with ears to hear' would recognise at once that Jesus increased - that is to say, he had a son. There are two such entries in the Acts, and they fall precisely on cue in AD 37 and AD 44.
Probably the most misrepresented book of the New Testament is the book of The Revelation of St John the Divine - misrepresented by the Church, that is, not by the book itself. This book is quite unlike any other in the Bible. It is dubbed with terrible supernatural overtones and its straightforward imagery has been savagely corrupted by the Church to present the text as some form of foreboding or prophecy of warning. But the book is not called The Prophecy or The Warning'; it is called The Revelation.
So, what does the book reveal? Chronologically, its story follows the Acts of the Apostles and the book of The Revelation is, in fact, the continuing story of Jesus, Mary Magdalene and their sons - particularly the elder son, Jesus Justus. It follows his life and details his marriage, along with the birth of his own son. This much misunderstood New Testament book is not a foreboding or a warning as the fearful Church would have us believe. It is precisely what it says it is: a revelation.
As we saw earlier, ordained priests of the era were called 'fishers'; their helpers were called 'fishermen' and baptismal candidates were called 'fishes'. Jesus became an ordained fisher when he entered the Kingdom of Heaven, but until that time (as explained by St Paul) he held no priestly office. In the rite of ordination, the officiating Levite priests of the Sanctuary would administer five loaves of bread and two fish to the candidates, but the law was very firm in that such candidates had to be circumcised Jews. Gentiles and uncircumcised Samaritans were on no account afforded any such privilege. Indeed, it was this particular custom which Jesus had flouted at the so-called Feeding of the Five-thousand, when he presumed entitlement to his own liberal ministry by offering the loaves and fish to an unsanctified gathering.
Apart from eventually becoming a fisher, Jesus was also referred to as the Christ - a Greek definition (from Khristos) which meant the King. In saying the name Jesus Christ, we are actually saying King Jesus, and his kingly heritage was of the Royal House of Judah (the House of David), as mentioned numerous times in the Gospels and in the Epistles of St Paul.
From AD 33, therefore, Jesus emerged with the dual status of a Priest Christ or, as is more commonly cited in Grail lore, a Fisher King. This definition, as we shall see, was to become the hereditary and dynastic office of Jesus's heirs, and the succeeding Fisher Kings were paramount in the continuing Bloodline of the Holy Grail.
Prior to the birth of her second son in AD 44, Mary Magdalene was exiled from Judaea following a political uprising in which she was implicated. Along with Philip, Lazarus and a few retainers, she travelled (by arrangement with King Herod-Agrippa II) to live at the Herodian estate near Lyon, in Gaul (which later became France).
From the earliest times, through the medieval era, to the great Renaissance, Mary's flight was portrayed in illuminated manuscripts and great artworks alike. Her life and work in France, especially in Provence and the Languedoc region, appeared not only in works of European history but also in the Roman Church liturgy - until her story was suppressed by the Vatican.
Mary Magdalene's exile is related in the book of The Revelation, which describes that she was pregnant at the time. It tells also of how the Roman authorities subsequently persecuted Mary, her son and his heirs: 'And she, being with child, cried and pained to be delivered. And behold, a great red dragon, having seven heads and seven crowns stood before the woman for to devour her child. And she brought forth a man-child. And the woman fled into the wilderness. And the dragon was wroth with the woman, and went to make war forever with the remnant of her seed - which have the testimony of Jesus Christ'.
It was to Gaul that Mary was said to have carried the Sangréal (the Blood Royal: the Holy Grail), and it was in Gaul that the famous line of Jesus and Mary's immediate descendant heirs, the Fisher Kings, flourished for 300 years. The eternal motto of the Fisher Kings was 'In Strength' - inspired by the name of their ancestor, Boaz (the great-grandfather of King David), whose name similarly meant 'In Strength'. When translated into Latin, this became In Fortis, which was subsequently corrupted to Anfortas, the name of the key Fisher King in Grail romance.
We can now return to the Grail's traditional symbolism as a chalice containing the blood of Jesus. We can also consider graphic designs dating back well beyond the Dark Ages to about 3500 BC and, in doing this, we discover that a chalice or a cup was the longest-standing symbol of the female. Its representation was that of the Sacred Vessel - the vas uterus: the womb.
And so, when fleeing into France, Mary Magdalene carried the Sangréal in the sacred chalice of her womb - just as the book of The Revelation explains. And the name of this second son was Joseph.
The equivalent traditional symbol of the male was a blade or a horn, usually represented by a sword or a unicorn. In the Old Testament's Song of Solomon and in the Psalms of David, the fertile unicorn is associated with the kingly line of Judah - and it was for this very reason that the Cathars of Provence used the mystical beast to symbolise the Grail bloodline.
Mary Magdalene died in Provence in AD 63 and, in that very year, Joseph of Arimathea built the famous chapel at Glastonbury in England as a memorial to the Messianic Queen. This was the first above-ground Christian chapel in the world, and in the following year Mary's son Jesus Justus dedicated it to his mother. Jesus the younger had previously been to England with Joseph of Arimathea at the age of twelve, in AD 49. It was this event which inspired William Blake's famous song Jerusalem: 'And did those feet in ancient time, walk upon England's mountains green'.
But who was Joseph of Arimathea - the man who assumed full control of affairs at the Crucifixion? And why was it that Jesus's mother, his wife and the rest of the family accepted Joseph's intervention without question?
As late as the year 900, the Byzantine Church (which had split from the Church of Rome) decided to announce that Joseph of Arimathea was the uncle of Jesus's mother Mary. And from that time, portrayals of Joseph have shown him as being rather elderly at the Crucifixion, when Mother Mary was herself in her fifties. Prior to the Church announcement, however, the historical records of Joseph depicted a much younger man. He was recorded to have died at the age of 80 on 27 July AD 82, and would therefore have been aged 32 at the time of the Crucifixion.
In fact, Joseph of Arimathea was none other than Jesus Christ's own brother James, and his title had nothing whatever to with a place- name. In fact (like Nazareth), the place later dubbed Arimathea never existed in those times. It therefore comes as no surprise that Joseph negotiated with Pilate to place Jesus in his own family tomb.
The hereditary 'Arimathea' title was an English corruption of the Graeco-Hebrew style ha-Rama-Theo, meaning 'of the Divine Highness', or 'Royal Highness' as we use the term today. Since Jesus was the senior Messianic heir (the Christ, or King), then his younger brother was the Crown Prince - the Divine (Royal) Highness, Rama-Theo. In the Nazarene hierarchy, the Crown Prince always held the patriarchal title of 'Joseph' - just as Jesus was a titular 'David' and his wife was a conventual 'Mary'.
In the early 5th century, Jesus and Mary's descendent Fisher Kings became united by marriage to the Sicambrian Franks, and from them emerged a whole new reigning dynasty. They were the noted Merovingian Kings who founded the French monarchy and introduced the well-known fleur-de-lys (the ancient gladiolus symbol of circumcision) as the royal emblem of France.
From the Merovingian succession, another strain of the family established a wholly independent Jewish kingdom in southern France: the kingdom of Septimania, which we now know as Languedoc. Also, the early princes of Toulouse, Aquitaine and Provence were all descended in the Messianic bloodline. Septimania was specifically granted to the Royal House of David in 768, and Prince Bernard of Septimania later married a daughter of Emperor Charlemagne.
Also from the Fisher Kings came another important parallel line of succession in Gaul. Whereas the Merovingian Kings continued the patrilinear heritage of Jesus, this other line perpetuated the matrilinear heritage of Mary Magdalene. They were the dynastic Queens of Avallon in Burgundy: the House del Acqs - meaning 'of the waters', a style granted to Mary Magdalene in the early days when she voyaged on the sea to Provence.
Those familiar with Arthurian and Grail lore will by now have recognised the ultimate significance of this Messianic family: the Fisher Kings, the Queens of Avallon and the House del Acqs (corrupted in Arthurian romance to du Lac).
The descendant heirs of Jesus posed an enormous threat to the Roman High Church because they were the dynastic leaders of the true Nazarene Church. In real terms, the Roman Church should never have existed at all, for it was no more than a strategically designed hybrid movement comprised of various pagan doctrines attached to a fundamentally Judaeo-Christian base.
Jesus was born in 7 BC and his birthday was on the equivalent of 1 March, with an official royal birthday on 15 September to comply with dynastic regulation and the month of Atonement. But, when establishing the Roman Church in the 4th century, Emperor Constantine ignored both of these dates and supplemented 25 December as the new Christ's Mass Day - to coincide with the pagan Sun Festival with which his Imperial subjects were familiar. Later, at the Synod of Whitby held in England in 664, the bishops also expropriated the Celtic festival of Easter (Eostre), the Goddess of Spring and Fertility, and attached a wholly new Christian significance by aligning it with the Resurrection of Jesus. In so doing, they actually changed the date of the old festival to sever its traditional association with the Jewish Passover.
Hence, today's two main Christian festivals (Christmas and Easter) are spurious Roman inventions and, historically, they have nothing whatever to do with Jesus. Christianity, as we know it, has evolved as a composite religion quite unlike any other. If Jesus was its living catalyst, then Christianity should rightly be based on the teachings of Jesus himself - the moral and social codes of a fair- minded, tolerant ministry, with the people as its benefactors. But orthodox Christianity ('churchianity') is not based on the teachings of Jesus: it centres upon the teachings of the bishops, which are entirely different.
There are a number of reasons for this, the foremost of which is that Jesus was deliberately sidestepped in favour of the alternative teachings of Peter and Paul: teachings which were thoroughly denounced by the Nazarene Church of Jesus and his brother James - teachings which the Nazarenes called 'the faith of fools'.
Only by removing Jesus from the front-line could the popes and cardinals reign supreme. When formally instituting Christianity as the State religion of Rome, Constantine declared that he alone was the true Saviour Messiah - not Jesus! As for the Bishops of Rome (the popes), they were granted a fabricated Apostolic descent from St Peter, since the legitimate Messianic descent from Jesus and his brothers was retained within the parallel Nazarene Church.
The only way for the Roman Church to restrain the heirs of Mary Magdalene was to discredit Mary herself and to deny her bridal relationship with Jesus. But what of Jesus's brother James? He too had heirs, as did their other brothers, Simon, Joses and Jude. For all its effort to forge a new scriptural history, the Church could not escape the Gospels, which state quite clearly that Jesus was the Blessed Mary's 'firstborn son', and so Mary's own motherhood also had to be repressed.
As a result, the bishops portrayed Mother Mary as a virgin and Mary Magdalene as a whore - neither of which description was mentioned in any original Gospel. Then, just to cement Mother Mary's position outside the natural domain, her own mother, Anna, was eventually said to have borne her daughter by way of immaculate conception!
Over the course of time, these contrived doctrines have had widespread effect. But in the early days it took rather more to cement the ideas because the original women of the Nazarene mission had a significant following in the Celtic Church. These included Mary Magdalene, Martha, Mary-Jacob Cleophas and Helena-Salome, each of whom had run schools and social missions throughout the Mediterranean world. These women had all been disciples of Jesus and close friends of his mother, accompanying her to the Crucifixion, as confirmed in the Gospels.
In the face of such records, the Church's only salvation was to denigrate women altogether; to deny them not only rights to ecclesiastical office, but to deny them rights to any status in society. Hence, the Church declared that women were all heretics and sorceresses!
In this, the bishops were aided by the words of Peter and Paul, and on the basis of their teachings the Roman Church was enabled to become wholly sexist. In his first Epistle to Timothy, Paul wrote: 'I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp any authority over the man, but to be in silence'. In the Gospel of Philip, Peter is quoted as saying that 'Women are not worthy of life'. The bishops even quoted the words of Genesis, wherein God apparently spoke to Eve about Adam, saying 'He shall rule over thee'.
The Church Father Tertullian summed up the whole Roman attitude when writing about the emergent disciples of Mary Magdalene: 'These heretical woman! How dare they! They are brazen enough to teach, to engage in argument, to baptise. It is not permitted for a woman to speak in church, nor to claim a share in any masculine function - least of all in priestly office'.
Then, to cap it all, came the Roman Church's most amazing document, The Apostolic Order. This was compiled as an imaginary conversation between the apostles after the Last Supper. Contrary to the Gospels, it supposed that Mary Magdalene had been present at the event, and it was agreed that the reason why Jesus had not passed any wine to Mary at the table was because he had seen her laughing! On the basis of this extraordinary, fictitious document, the bishops ruled that, even though Mary might have been a close companion of Jesus, women were not to be afforded any place within the Church because they were not serious! But why has this sexist attitude persisted within the Church to the present day? Because Mary Magdalene had to be discredited and removed from the reckoning so that her heirs could be ignored.
Notwithstanding the avid sexist movement, the Messianic heirs retained their social positions outside the Roman Church establishment. They progressed their own Nazarene and Celtic Church movements and founded Desposynic (Heirs of the Lord) kingdoms in Britain and Europe. They were a constant threat to the Roman High Church and to the figurehead monarchs and governments empowered by that Church. In fact, they were the very reason for the brutal Catholic Inquisition because they upheld a moral and social code which was contrary to High Church requirement.
This was especially apparent during the Age of Chivalry, which embraced a respect for womanhood, as exemplified by the Knights Templars whose constitutional oath supported a veneration of the Grail Mother, Queen Mary Magdalene.
Prior to the Middle Ages, the individual stories of the Grail family were historically well known, but when the Church began its reign of fanatical persecution, the whole Nazarene and Desposynic heritage was forced underground. But why did the vengeful persecutions begin at that particular time? Because the Knights Templars had not only returned from the Holy Land with documents that undermined the Church's teachings, they also established their own Cistercian churches in opposition to Rome. These were, however, not just any churches - they were the greatest religious monuments ever to grace the skylines of the western world: the Notre Dame cathedrals of France.
Despite their present-day image, these impressive Gothic cathedrals had nothing whatever to do with the established Christian Church. They were funded and built by the Knights Templars in collaboration with their Cistercian allies, and they were dedicated to Mary Magdalene - Notre Dame (Our Lady) - whom they called 'the Grail of the world'.
This, of course, defeated every dogma that the High Church had encouraged, and the bishops retaliated by re-dedicating numerous other churches to Mary, the mother of Jesus. But, in so doing, they made a strict decree that all artistic portrayals of Mother Mary (the Madonna) must henceforth show her dressed in 'blue and white only' - so as not to grant her any rights to ecclesiastical office in the male-only priesthood.
Mary Magdalene, on the other hand, was being portrayed by the world's greatest artists wearing the red mantle of cardinal status, the black robe of a Nazarite High Priestess, or the green cloak of fertility, and there was nothing the Church could do about it. The bishops' only option was to proclaim the practice sinful and heretical because, in having previously elected to ignore Mary Magdalene and her heirs, she was for all practical purposes outside their jurisdiction.
It was at that time that Grail lore was itself denounced as a heresy by the Vatican. The 6th-century prophesies of Merlin were expressly banned by the Ecumenical Council, and the original Nazarene Church of Jesus became an underground stream, aided by such notable sponsors as Leonardo da Vinci and Sandro Botticelli. In those days, the Church policed and controlled most literature in the public domain and so, in order to avoid outright censorship, the Grail tradition became allegorical and its message was communicated by way of secret watermarks, esoteric writings, Tarot cards and symbolic artwork.
But why should Grail lore and the prophesies of Merlin have posed such a problem for the Roman Church? Because, within the context of their adventurous texts, they told the descendant story of the Grail bloodline - a bloodline which had been ousted from its dynastic position by the Bishops of Rome who had elected to reign supreme by way of a contrived apostolic succession.
This succession was said to have been handed down from the first bishop, St Peter (indeed, this is still the promoted view), but one only has to consult the Church's own Apostolic Constitutions to discover that this is simply not true. Peter was never a Bishop of Rome - nor of anywhere else for that matter! The Vatican's Constitutions record that the first Bishop of Rome was Prince Linus of Britain (the son of Caractacus the Pendragon), who was installed by St Paul in AD 58, during Peter's own lifetime.
From the 1100s, the powerful Knights Templars and their cathedrals posed an enormous threat to the male-only Church by bringing the heritage of Jesus and Mary Magdalene to the fore in the public domain. The cardinals knew that their whole establishment would tumble if the Messianic descendants gained the upper hand. They had to be crushed - and so the brutal Inquisition was implemented: a hideous persecution of all who dissented from the rule of the bishops.
It all began in 1209, when Pope Innocent III sent 30,000 soldiers into the Languedoc region of southern France. This was the home of the Cathars (the Pure Ones), who were said to be the guardians of a great and sacred treasure -a mysterious secret which could overturn orthodox Christianity. The Pope's so-called Albigensian Crusade lasted for thirty-six years, during which time tens of thousands of innocent people were slaughtered - but the treasure was never found. In 1231, the main thrust of the Inquisition (or Holy Office as it was called) was instituted by Pope Gregory IX during the course of the Languedoc massacre, and it was set against anyone who supported the Grail heresy. By 1252 the torture of victims was formally authorised, along with execution by burning.
Heresy was a wonderful charge to level against captives, because only the Church could define it. The victims were tortured until they confessed and, having confessed, they were executed. If they did not confess, then the torture continued until they died anyway.
One recorded form of torture was to spread the victim with fat, and then to roast him alive (upwards from the feet) over an open fire. These savage persecutions and tortures were openly waged for more than 400 years, to be extended against Jews, Muslims and Protestant dissenters. But the Catholic Inquisition was never formally terminated. As recently as 1965 it was renamed the Sacred Congregation and its powers are theoretically still in force today.
Undaunted by the Inquisition, the Nazarene movement pursued its own course, and the story of the bloodline was perpetuated in literature such as the Grand Saint Grail and the High History of the Holy Grail. These writings were largely sponsored by the Grail courts of France (the courts of Champagne, Anjou and others) and also by the Knights Templars and the Desposyni. In the course of this, Arthurian romance became a popular vehicle for the Grail tradition. Consequently, the Templars became a specific target of the Inquisition in 1307, when the henchmen of Pope Clement V and King Philip IV of France were set in their direction. The papal armies scoured Europe for the Templar documents and treasure but, like the Cathar inheritance, nothing was found. Nevertheless, many Knights were tortured and executed in the process.
In all this, however, the Templar hoard was not lost and, while the Vatican emissaries were searching, the treasure and documents were locked away in the Chapter House Treasury vaults of Paris. They were under the protection of the Templar Grand Knights - those styled the Guardian Princes of the Royal Secret - who loaded the hoard one night onto 18 galleys of the Templar fleet at La Rochelle. By daybreak, the ships had set sail for various destinations - notably Portugal and Scotland. The latter were welcomed, upon their arrival, by King Robert the Bruce who, along with the whole Scottish nation, had been excommunicated by the Pope for challenging the Catholic King Edward of England. The Templars and their treasure remained in Scotland, and the Knights fought with Bruce at Bannockburn in 1314 to regain Scotland's independence from Plantagenet England.
Subsequent to the Battle of Bannockburn, Bruce and the Guardian Princes founded the new Order of the Elder Brothers of the Rosy Cross in 1317 - from which time the Kings of Scots became hereditary Grand Masters, with each successive Stewart King holding the honoured title of Prince Saint Germain.
But, why was it that King Arthur, a Celtic commander of the 6th century, was so important to the Knights Templars and the Grail courts of Europe? Quite simply, because Arthur had been unique, with a dual heritage in the Messianic line. King Arthur was by no means mythical, as many have supposed, but he has generally been looked for in the wrong places. Researchers, misguided by the fictional locations of the romances, have searched in vain through the chronicles of Brittany, Wales and the West of England. But the details of Arthur are to be found in the Scots' and Irish annals. He was indeed the High King of the Celtic Isle and was the sovereign commander of the British troops in the late 6th century.
Arthur was born in 559 and died in battle in 603. His mother was Ygerna del Acqs, the daughter of Queen Viviane of Avallon, in descent from Jesus and Mary Magdalene. His father was High King Aedàn of Dalriada (the Western Highlands of Scotland, now called Argyll), and Aedàn was the British Pendragon (Head Dragon or King of Kings) in descent from Jesus's brother James. It is for this reason that the stories of Arthur and Joseph of Arimathea are so closely entwined in the Grail romances. Indeed, the coronation records of Scotland's King Kenneth MacAlpin (a descendant of Aedàn the Pendragon) specifically refer to his own descent from the dynastic Queens of Avallon. King Aedàn's paternal legacy emerged through the most ancient House of Camu-lot (England's Royal Court of Colchester) in a line from the first appointed Pendragon, King Cymbeline, who is well-known to students of Shakespeare.
By the 6th century, Messianic descendants had founded Desposynic kingdoms in Wales and across the Strathclyde and Cambrian regions of Britain. Arthur's father, King Aedàn of Scots, was the first British monarch to be installed by priestly ordination when he was anointed by Saint Columba of the Celtic Church in 574. This, of course, infuriated the Roman bishops because they claimed the sole right to appoint kings who, according to them, were supposed to be crowned by the Pope!
As a direct result of this coronation, Saint Augustine was eventually sent from Rome to dismantle the Celtic Church when St Columba died in 597. He proclaimed himself Archbishop of Canterbury three years later, but his overall mission failed and the Nazarene tradition persisted in Scotland, Ireland, Wales and across the breadth of northern England.
An important fact to remember is that the Grail dynasts were never territorial governors of lands. Like Jesus himself, they were designated guardians of the people. The Merovingians in Gaul, for example, were Kings of the Franks - never Kings of France. King Aedàn, Robert the Bruce and their Stewart successors were Kings of the Scots - never Kings of Scotland. It was this implicitly social concept which the High Church found so difficult to overcome, for the bishops preferred to have dominion over territorial kings who were authorized by the Pope. Only by maintaining ultimate spiritual control over individuals could the Church reign supreme, and so whenever a Grail dynast came to the fore he was met by the wrath of the papal machine.
In 751 the bishops managed to depose the Merovingian succession in Gaul, and they established a new tradition whereby kings of the Carolingian succession (that of Charlemagne) had to be approved and crowned by the Pope. But the Church could never topple the Desposynic lines in Scotland, even though the old Celtic kingdoms of England had been dismantled by Germanic Anglo-Saxons from the 6th century.
Even into the Middle Ages - long after the Norman Conquest of England - the Nazarene Church and the long prevailing cult of Mary Magdalene were prominent in Europe. Women's rights of equality were upheld throughout the Celtic structure, and this was an enormous problem for the male-only priesthood of orthodox 'churchianity'.
The underlying principle of the Grail monarchs was always one of Service, in accordance with the Messianic code. Hence, they were kings and common fathers of their realms, but they were never rulers. This key aspect of the Grail Code was perpetuated at the very heart of nursery tale and folklore. Never did a valiant cardinal or bishop ride to the aid of an oppressed subject or a damsel in distress, for this has always been the social realm of Grail princes and their appointed knights.
The Grail Code recognises advancement by merit and acknowledges community structure, but above all it is entirely democratic. Whether apprehended in its physical or spiritual dimension, the Grail belongs to leaders and followers alike. It also belongs to the land and the environment, requiring that all should be as one in a mutually unified Service.
Throughout the ages, parliaments and governments have had as much trouble as the Church in confronting the Messianic social code, and the position is no different today. Presidents and prime ministers are elected by the people. They are supposed to represent the people - but do they? In actual fact, they do not. They are always affiliated to a political party and they achieve their positions by way of majority party vote. But not everybody takes the trouble to vote and sometimes there are more than two parties to vote for. Consequently, at any given time, more than half the people of a nation may not be represented by the political party in power. In this regard, even though a majority vote has been applied, the democratic principle fails. What emerges is not 'government BY the people FOR the people', but 'government OF the people'.
Jesus confronted a very similar situation in the 1st century. At that time, Jerusalem and Judaea were under Roman occupation, with King Herod and the Governor, Pontius Pilate, both appointed by Rome. But who represented the people? The people were not Romans; they were Holy Land Jews: Pharisees, Sadducees, Essenes and the like. Apart from that, there were large numbers of Samaritans and Gentiles (non- Jews; the Arab races). Who represented them? The answer is 'no one' - until Jesus made it his mission to do so. This was the beginning of the Grail code of non-affiliated princely service: a code perpetuated by the Messianic dynasts in their continuing role as people's guardians. The Grail code is based on the principles of liberty, fraternity and equality, and it was particularly apparent in the American and French Revolutions, both of which discarded the lordship of despotic aristocracy. But what has replaced it? It has been replaced by party politics and largely non-representative government.
Many people have asked me why the hitherto suppressed information in Bloodline of the Holy Grail is coming to light at this particular time. The fact is that the information has never been suppressed by those whom it concerns. It has been suppressed by outside power- seekers who have sought to serve their own interests, rather than serve the communities they are supposed to represent. Today, however, we are in a new age of questing as many people grow more disillusioned with the establishment dogmas that prevail. We live in an age of satellite communications, sound-barrier travel, computers and the Internet - so the world is effectively much smaller than before. In such an environment, news travels very quickly and the truth is far more difficult to restrain.
Also, the very fabric of the male-dominated Church and governmental structures is being questioned, and it is generally perceived that the old doctrines of spiritual control and territorial management are not working. More and more people are searching for the original, uncluttered roots of their faith and for their purpose in society. They are seeking more effective forms of administration to combat the all too apparent slide into social and moral decline. They are, in fact, questing for the Holy Grail. This quest for new enlightenment is considerably heightened by the coming new millennium and there is a widespread feeling that this should also present a new Renaissance: an era of rebirth wherein the precepts of the Grail Code are acknowledged and practised - the precepts of liberty, fraternity and equality. Indeed, Grail lore spells out loud and clear that the wound of the Fisher King must first be healed if the wasteland is to return to fertility.
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-- (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 27, 2004.