Group, Married Catholic woman in church. Have come to realize she isn't "good catholic girl" I thought she was. We don't have any children. I want to end this before we ruin anymore lives. What is the time frame for civil annullment and grounds for church annullment? Thanks BJ

-- (BigJim99@hotmail.com), September 22, 2002

Answers

Response to Civil annullment prior to church annullment

"... for better, for worse ..."

A "bad girl" can become a "good Catholic girl." Pray.

Catholic "annulment" is not a divorce.

Read, please.

-- don't (give@up.easily), September 22, 2002.

Response to Civil annullment prior to church annullment

Give@up.easily, I understand what you are saying. I've been praying and searching my soul for the right answer. But when 2 different people call you and tell you she's been seen in town with her ex-boyfriend. I think there's reason for concern. I will confront her with it when I develop the courage to her the answer. Thanks BJ

-- (BigJim99@hotmail.com), September 23, 2002.

Response to Civil annullment prior to church annullment

BJ,

Be patient, it takes people awhile here to check in and respond. Some are very knowledgeable. I would wonder if a valid marriage was entered into if she is still seeing an old flame.

Best of luck in a hard situation,

Frank

-- Someone (ChimingIn@twocents.cam), September 23, 2002.

Response to Civil annullment prior to church annullment

BJ,
Please wait to hear the truth. Please don't jump to conclusions. I'm not naive. I understand what the odds here, but the fact is that some people can have a non-romantic friend of the opposite sex (even an ex-beau) -- someone off whom to bounce ideas.

In the end, if unfaithfulness was involved, you are not required to go your separate ways (contrary to "secular wisdom"). Instead, official Catholic directives encourage spouses by saying this:

It is earnestly recommended that a spouse, motivated by Christian charity and solicitous for the good of the family, should not refuse to pardon an adulterous partner and should not sunder the conjugal life. Nevertheless, if that spouse has not either expressly or tacitly condoned the other's fault, he or she has the right to sever the common conjugal life, provided he or she has not consented to the adultery, nor been the cause of it, nor also committed adultery.

Sincerely,
"don't give up easily"

-- don't (give@up.easily), September 23, 2002.

Response to Civil annullment prior to church annullment

Group, I appreciate the advice. My wife's relationship with her previous beau only involved one thing. He was physically abusive. I don't think she's going to him for therapy. But I continue to ask God, daily, what to do? Thanks.

-- (BigJim@hotmail.com), September 23, 2002.

Response to Civil annullment prior to church annullment

Hi BJ, I do not know why this man married except maybe for my money. I,too, want an anullment. The people in my church are really giving me a hard time because I left him. I am Protestant and they feel I am no longer a Christian. Just letting you know there are other people out there with the same problem.

-- Lois J Rex (ljrex@csonline.net), October 16, 2002.