Hi Everyone:

I really need a word of encouragement. My best friend, an evangelical, charismatic Christian, doesn't believe we can be friends anymore. Why? Because I'm entering the Catholic Church.

My friend, Sandy, just left my home in a tiff. She started in on me within 30 minutes of our visit. Why do Catholics confess to Priests? Why this. Why that. Why, why, why. When I tried to explain to her in gentleness and respect, showing her from history and scripture the authenticity of the Church, she got angrier and angrier and angrier, until finally she got up and stormed out of my house declaring that she just didn't think we could be friends any longer. The sad part about is that she and her husband were going to purchase a house right next to us. NOW, I bet they don't! I almost hope they don't because I don't to be subjected to this kind of treatment.

I AM REALLY BAFFLED. I love this lady. We've been good friends for several years. She loves Jesus. But I guess it has REALLY been bugging her that we're going to the Catholic Church. It's been eating her up. I think our friendship is over because she cannot accept that the Catholic Church is a legitimate "Christian" Church.

What's amazing and ironic is that she goes to a Word of Faith Church that teaches the "Health and Wealth Gospel" which I CAN'T STAND, but out of respect for her I never say a word about it unless she asks.

Any words of encouragement would be MOST appreciated.

Love,

Gail

-- Gail (rothfarms@socket.net), October 17, 2002

Answers

If you have every right to be upset with her, but the problem here, is that if you think along those lines, your friendship with this woman will never happen again.

I won't through a couple similar situations myself recently with a couple friends, and in the end, I decided to let my feelings go, and I apologized to them. Both of my friends, never bothered to apologize to me at all, even though I really believe I was in the right in both situations. I apologized for my anger, and nothing else. Consider this a lesson in humility, and believe me, it's not easy to do this.

Wait a week, and phone your friend and ask her to do something togeather. Don't bring up that you had this disagreement. If she asks if you are going to remain a Catholic, say that you are going to follow your conscience in this matter, and try to say no more. Even tell her, that it's best not to discuss it, and maybe even suggest discussing at some later date, when your feelings for each other become warm again. When you are with this friend, pray the rosary silently to yourself, that Satan not interfere with your friendship. Satan wants us to be enemies, and he is the only victor in such fights. Satan hates peace!

Pray a great deal that your friend's heart is softened. Put your trust in the Sacred Heart of Jesus!

Promises of the Sacred Heart of Jesus

Of the many promises Our Lord Jesus Christ did reveal to Saint Margaret Mary in favor of souls devoted to His Sacred Heart the principal ones are as follows:

1. I will give them all the graces necessary for their state of life.

2. I will give peace in their families.

3. I will console them in all their troubles.

4. I will be their refuge in life and especially in death.

5. I will abundantly bless all their undertakings.

6. Sinners shall find in my Heart the source and infinite ocean of mercy.

7. Tepid souls shall become fervent.

8. Fervent souls shall rise speedily to great perfection.

9. I will bless those places wherein the image of My Sacred Heart shall be exposed and venerated.

10. I will give to priests the power to touch the most hardened hearts.

11. Persons who propagate this devotion shall have their names eternally written in my Heart.

12. In the excess of the mercy of my Heart, I promise you that my all powerful love will grant to all those who will receive Communion on the First Fridays, for nine consecutive months, the grace of final repentance: they will not die in my displeasure, nor without receiving the sacraments; and my Heart will be their secure refuge in that last hour.

Gordon

-- Gordon (g@g.g), October 17, 2002.

lol hey Gail, I didn't know you weren't a Catholic yet. Somehow I never picked up on that. Isn't that cool? =)

As far as encouragement, I guess I would say that sometimes when people get close to touching the truth, they get really really angry. I think it is because as they approach recognition of the truth, the will is put on the spot to either give assent or dissent, and that puts the imagination into gear about how their future will be reorganized. That hurts, so people get mad. Your reality is rattling her sense of reality. If what you do reflects reality, then her whole life changes; big changes frustrate people, and frustration expresses itself in anger. So be patient I guess.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), October 17, 2002.

WOW, thanks a bunch to both of you. Great insights, Gordon.

Gordon, I'll try what you suggest, though I really feel she wants NO PART of me ever again unless I denounce the Catholic faith. Catholics are really persecuted from all sides, aren't they?

I guess it just hurts so much that someone who you think is your friend would "blow you off" like that. I never talk about my Catholic faith to her because I know she'll get upset. But SHE was asking me questions for the sole purpose of criticizing, mocking, and PERSECUTING. She had no comebacks to my defenses whatsoever. I think you're right, Emerald; a clash of realities!

I don't know what I would do with this forum. Thank you Jesus!

Gail

-- Gail (rothfarms@socket.net), October 17, 2002.

I meant, "I don't know what I would do WITHOUT this forum."

-- Gail (rothfarms@socket.net), October 17, 2002.

> Gordon, I'll try what you suggest, though I really feel she wants NO PART of me ever again unless I denounce the Catholic faith.

Wait a week or two, and try to phone her, asking to do something togeather. She may very well regret what she has done, and if you were close friends for along time, she is suffering over this also. She may very well have nothing to do with you again, and will feel justified in doing that, because she will convince herself that she is acting on principle here. This is actually an admirable trait in her, and you may mention that to her, but also tell her, that you are sincere in your faith, and you cannot in good conscience abandon it. This will appeal to her sense of fairness.

It's probably best that you two do not talk about religion for awhile, as this will only bring up feelings of anger that you both have.

Pray a great deal for your friend, and I will also pray for her. May others on this forum pray for her also. Maybe pray a novena for her.

Also a good ideal to discuss this with a priest, and see what he says. Some priests have given me incredible advice over the years, and I am certainly a lot happier for it.

Gordon

-- Gordon (g@g.g), October 17, 2002.

And try for the intercession of her guardian angel, too.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), October 17, 2002.

Hi Gail, congratulations with the great news!

I was over at a BBQ with the neighbours and a similar discussion arose. While my own knowledge is rather limited, my refusal to become agitated with her increasingly pointed attacks on the church annoyed her no end. Luckily for me she only had a limited grasp of her own beliefs and her anti Catholic myths were easily debunked. The logic, consistancy of 2000 years of teachings frustrates anti Catholics no end. They have no worthy response beyond bizzare individual interpretations of scripture.

Her response is typical of every fundie Ive met- desperate wide eyed hysteria and anger in the face of the truth. It shows an incredible insecurity or lack of faith in her own beliefs, do not back down Gail. There is something so very special about being a Catholic do not bend your own integrity nor that of the church to please her.

If your friend cannot accept you are going to become a Catholic she is not really a friend at all. God Bless

-- Kiwi (csisherwood@hotmail.com), October 17, 2002.

Wow! Emerald, I had the same thought:

Gail, I think that your friend is frustrated that you might be in the right spot, and in her (jealousy maybe) she couldn't hang.

It is extremely hard (as you probably know) to loose yourself from years and years of a Protestant upbringing and start over. In fact, it is hard for anyone to let go of anything that they've been doing for a long time!

Anger might be your friends way of telling you "you're right and I'm wrong". She might have expected some lame answers, and to "rescue" rescue you from the big bad Catholic Church. But when you actually had some scriptural and historical background for your belief, her plan might have backfired on her. I would agree that at least a couple of days are needed to cool down. Just remain always content and happy knowing that your are in the Fullness of the Faith.

I will pray for you - don't worry.

In Christ.

-- Jake Huether (jake_huether@yahoo.com), October 17, 2002.

Well Gail, just don't talk to her about it. Make a pact, when you can talk again. Don't lose your friend. At the very least , if you are no longer friends, then you won't be able to show her, with no words at all, what being Catholic means. Agree to leave each other be. The really important things are accomplished with few words anyway. Arguing has has so little effect compared to the living of a life, just so simply. Go about your life. Let her go about hers. Love her anyway. Who knows what love can do????

J.

-- Jane (jane@don't like spam.either), October 17, 2002.

Kiwi, it sounds like we're talking about the same woman!

I never expected to encounter such incredible hostility from a Christian, much less a dear friend. All this time, she has been stewing, and brewing, and she just erupted like a volcano yesterday. What spurred it, I think, was that I was singing some of the wonderful songs we do at Mass. Just the fact that I was singing a song written by a Catholic was enough to send her over the edge of insane anger.

The look of hatred on her face when she left my home was heart breaking. I have been praying that the Lord would protect her from demonic influences, that her guardian angel would do battle for her against the powers of darkness. That the Lord would give her the grace to at least accept me for where I'm at in my faith. Aside from that, and of course loving her, I can do nothing.

The schisms that divide the body of Christ is cruel and breathtaking!

Thanks everyone,

Gail

-- Gail (rothfarms@socket.net), October 18, 2002.

Dear Gail, wish i could give you a big hug!!!! we suffer together! Keep up the 'good fight' of keeping your eyes on Jesus! All we can do is speak truth, the Holy Spirit defends us. Like the others said, love, just love. The anger must come from being convicted of truth.

Your life is a witness to her. your sis, Theresa

-- Theresa Huether (Rodntee4Jesus@aol.com), October 18, 2002.

Hey Gail. In my deepest darkest hours I've had that insane anger. Someone was patient with me and it was the only cure.

When people start throwing punches, we have to act like Tar Baby.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), October 18, 2002.

Gail - What came to mind when reading you intro post was the following. " We are all invited to the Banquet as Christians. In the Catholic Church we have the condiments. "

Sometimes the meals offered by the Catholic Church is simple too strong having been embellished with sweets and spices as soul food. Many Fundies have yet to graduate from milk to cream.

As was said to me once on a long month retreat " Sip the truth like a hot broth. Sip it slowly and do not burn yourself. "

-- jean bouchard (jeanb@cwk.imag.net), October 20, 2002.

You're right, Jean, is it a lot to take in. She was lobbing pebbles and I was slinging buckets of truth! I just pray that the Lord will help her grasp these things. She is a very "spirit led" person so I pray the Spirit will illuminate her understanding. That's how it happened with me.

Thanks

Gail

-- Gail (rothfarms@socket.net), October 20, 2002.