Marriage is valid or invalid

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hi i have written before also so i just wanted to know is my first marriage valid or invalid.as we have taken the cancellation from the court the very second or third day .do i have go for nullity also. i am sending the details again what problem i had and can i marry or not. . Like in 1996 i married a non catholic (hindu) in the court and came back home.And the very next day when we told our parents then both ( our parents) went to the court and cancelled the marriage by singhing some aggrement so within 2-3 days everything was dismissed and from that time we never even saw each other.Like what i want to say is i never stayed with the boy even for a day i never did any thing wrong i am a virgin . Now like i want to marry in a church according to my parents wish but the parish priest is not giving the marriage cause he is telling i was married before so i want to ask that was that marriage still legal and i cant marry in the church the mistake i did once i have to suffer in my whole life . I am out of the church and the will never accept me as its member. Please tell me what to do .Is my first marriage still there .And would i have to go out of church and get married is their no law which can forgive my mistake . Now since we tried but the priest is not giving marriage in the church so can we do one thing that i can marry to this boy who is non chatholic according to his customs and religion and after that ask the priest to give me rectifiction in the church. Can this be possible or what we can do to get my marriage rectified in the church. Please help me i dont want to suffer any more staying away from church cause after that i have stopped going to church also. I want to back with my Jesus nodought daily i am praying at home saying daily rosary but want to go to church also. Please help me and show me the wright way. Juli Robinson

-- juli robinson (julirobinson@yahoo.com), November 05, 2002

Answers

The fact that you "attempted" marriage, even a civil marriage, means that you will probably need to go through some paperwork to open the path for you to marry in the Church. The good news though, if the details you give are accurate, it will be fairly easy to get everything in order.

The question isn't just of forgiveness. Hopefully you have already gone to confession with a true contrition and received absolution and did your penance. If so, the sin of attempting marriage is behind you. But that doesn't mean that you're off the hook of putting things back in order to rectify your situation.

Remember, that getting married in the Church is more than just showing up on the wedding day. The Church - by means of the local parish priest and staff - is wanting to help prepare you so that you can truly have a sacramental marriage. Don't look at the requirements of the priest as obstacles or condemning you for past sins. It should be viewed, as it is, a removing of obstacles and impediments that would prevent you from receiving the grace of a sacramental marriage.

You state the boy you want to marry now is non-Catholic. Is he a baptised Christian or non-Christian. This makes a big difference. If he is non-Christian, you really need to reconsider what you are doing. You sometimes need to decide how important your faith is to you. It should be first. You should talk with your boyfriend and tell him directly that your faith is first. Ask him if he is willing to consider converting to Catholicism. If not, you really need to get out of the relationship - the sooner the better.

There's an old saying - The Catholic Church is the hardest to live by and the best to die by. Actually, in the long run, it's also the best to live by, but it will require some short-term sacrifices for a greater good. No one said following Christ is always easy. It involves tough decisions at time. Choose the narrow gate that leads to live (cf. Mt 7:13)).

Once again, if the priest doesn't make it "easy" for you, it is out of love and wisdom. Don't try to turn it to the priest being mean or unforgiving. To give a candy-coated piece of poison to a crying child who is fixated on the candy coating is not love.

God bless - I'll pray for you!

-- Hollis (catholic@martinsen.com), November 05, 2002.


Juli, you have posted this a number of times, and I wonder, have you bothered to read the answers that were given to you?

You are asking the same thing over and over again, but we cannot help you, unless you try and help yourself. We cannot fully determine the validity of your marriage, as only the Church can do that.

You are obviously someone who is in great need, so I will pray for you, and ask others here to pray for you. I'm sorry to hear, that you are in this mess.

-- Gordon (gvink@yahoo.com), November 05, 2002.


Juli, if your parish priest refuses to help you place your case before your diocese's marriage tribunal, he is violating your rights according to Canon Law. If such is the case, you must go directly to your bishop.

-- Please act now, instead of posting the same thing (over@and.over), November 08, 2002.

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