I am the Petitioner in an annulment petition filed in the Diocese of Arlington in Virginia. My annulment petition and narrative comprise over 250 paes with attachments. Essentially, my wife believed she would be granted an anullment and left the marriage. We are both devout Catholics.

As it turns out, there is not much water in her original thinking, but the Tribunal is investigating as grounds a "grave lack of due discretion on both." But the fact is we both really knew what we were doing when we married in 1992 and had three kids. And the Tribunal is now 17 months into considering the Petition.

I actually love my wife very much and would like to reconcile. She is closed to this. Nither of us is dating anyone and we are devoted to our children. Mch of the bulk of the Petition is psychological evidence that accumulated in the custody conflict. It says that we are both nice people, and good parents. On top of this, my wife wrote an article for a respected catholic journal at the time we were married espousing that we both take our marriage vows very seriously and that we need to be open to children. Its truly an unusual case.

I have requested that the Tribunal make a definitive declaration of Nullity or Certitude (that the marriage was valid.) My question is, does this ever happen? How often and under what circumstances? Any responses are welcome.

-- patrick r delaney (patrickrdelaney@yahoo.com), December 08, 2002

Answers

-- (_@_._), December 09, 2002.

Feeling like taking a stroll down memory lane?

-- Pat Delaney (pat@patdelaney.net), March 09, 2004.

Yawwwwnnnnn! Zzzzzzz.

-- Still Sane (After@All.TheseYears), March 10, 2004.

I think this was my first post here. Man was this poster ever a conflicted individual back then.

-- Pat Delaney (pat@patdelaney.net), August 01, 2004.

"My question is, does this ever happen? How often and under what circumstances? Any responses are welcome."

Pat,

-have you found an answer or answers?

Daniel////

-- Daniel Hawkenberry (dlm@catholic.org), August 02, 2004.

How often does what happen? Please specify. The original post of this thread was long ago when I was just starting to learn about the process. Prior to that post my ignorance was pretty complete but far from blissful.

-- Pat Delaney (pat@patdelaney.net), August 04, 2004.

"How often does what happen?"

-how often does a Tribunal make a definitive declaration of Certitude if ever and IF, under what circumstance? Considering that validity is always the presumption I would assume that Certitude is a given (although not necessarily delared) after an investigation that does not declare nullity... OTHERWISE, there would be no basis to limit the amount of investigations launched -(appeals after each declaration)...

Daniel////

Daniel////

-- Daniel Hawkenberry (dlm@catholic.org), August 09, 2004.

Daniel,

A Degree of Certitude never happens. If one were to be issued, it would be an error because no tribunal can ever claim that they are omniscient. I asked this question way back in time due to my ignorance of the process. Any decision regarding marrital validity must be challengeable because new evidence or argument may come to light at a later date than the earlier decision.

When I originally posted the question starting this thread, I had heard such a term used by a priest who had little or no training in canon law. But back then, he had more experience than I so I took it as an accepted term. It was only later that I learned that the priest was pretty much out of his element in discussing such matters. By the way, this priest was (and is) a very great priest. He is just not a canonist.

At the same time, if there is an exhaustive annulment process in which every possible ground were litigated, then the presumption of validity would be pretty much unchallengeable. Looking back, this is apparently what I wanted. I had an intuition as to the appellate process from my legal training in civil law. So I had offered up a petition with every possible bit of relevant evidence attached.

What I have discovered is that tribunals in America, in their search to justify illegitimate decrees of nullity, will embrace evidence supporting nullity and ignore or simply not seek evidence to the contrary. The tribunal's objective is to find nullity and not necessarily get at the truth of the matter.

This has been my observation time after time in all the cases I've read about or that have been personally communicated to me. In all these cases, the evidence favoring validity is pretty much ignored. In my case, the slanted consideration was extreme (and even that is putting it nicely).

This type of consideration is not balanced. And in my understanding, it is not fair, to the parties and especially to God. It is disrespectful to God to declare His actions non- existent, when in fact they are the true reality.

This may seem like splitting hairs to certain people, especially the people who are touchy-feely and want to "feel" that God is all merciful of anything. On the other side of the coin are people like me who are sometimes too devoted to order and justice.

Its hard to find that golden mean. But at least in this instance, I know that God will be pleased if His sacrament is respected. That's why I persue the matter. It's lonely at times, but at least I don't have to feel conflicted about my life choice.

Most people go the other way. But deep down, especially if they are order and justice people like me, the internal conflict tears them up.

C'est la vie. We're only here temporarily.

-- Pat Delaney (pat@patdelaney.net), August 13, 2004.

Just a note. This past week, as a result of the posting immediately above, three silent lurkers have contacted me because they feel they are being mistreated as a respondent in an annulment process. They have felt helpless in finding competent representation. All have felt that the "advocate" or "procurator", if they have even been provided one, does not have their interests in mind.

Please know that, for good reasons, all diocesan priests take a vow of obedience to their bishop. Unfortunately, this has had a down- side too in that if a diocesan tribunal is run by diocesan priest, and the bishop in the diocese is non-objectively pro-nullity, then the tribunal and priests will be also be slanted. Also, any lay- person working for the diocese as an advocate, procurator defender- of-the-bond, consultant, etc. will be slanted as well. Sadly, this is the truth and it is the way the system has developed in this country.

I'm getting more and more of these inquiries all the time. Many based on people having read past postings here or on other boards where I have posted regarding sacramental marriage.

If you are reading this, and need help, feel free to contact me at my email address. Competent help is available. You can also contact the Saint Joseph's Foundation (they are in Texas and can be found via Google). They or I can provide a referral to competent representation by a canon lawyer that has no conflict of interest arising from a vow of obedience.

Once they get this help you would not believe the change these people relate to me. Most pro-nullity canonists are grossly incompetent. Its just that the respondents have had absolutely no real avenue for justice provided to oppose a pro-nullity tribunal.

Feel free to contact me if you need help. The only way to change people in this lop-sided system is to educate them. Unfortunately, they are not being educated by the diocesan bishop who should be doing this. So you will need to introduce these canonists to the Bishop of Rome. He will set them straight, in addition to their local spiritual leader.

-- Pat Delaney (pat@patdelaney.net), August 15, 2004.