By GARRET JAROS The Register-Guard IT'S TREE-MENDOUS.
Forget about keeping up with the Joneses, the Chisholm family has set the bar one notch higher after mom finally approved dad's wacky holiday wish - a Christmas tree poking from the roof rafters.
Or so it would appear.
"I've been wanting to do this for years, and she finally called my bluff," Mike Chisholm said Tuesday. "I wasn't forceful about the idea."
"But it came up every year," his wife, Gayle, added.
"And it was denied," Mike said.
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Leah Chisholm, 15, can admire only part of her family's Christmas tree sight gag from inside the house.
Photo: CHRIS PIETSCH / The Register-Guard
The idea has been on the shelf ever since the Chisholms added that bay window eight years ago to their home at 4385 Pinecrest Drive, off East 43rd Avenue east of Spencer Butte Middle School in south Eugene.
"The first Christmas we had with that window, that's what I thought of," Mike said.
He figured he'd need a 12-foot tree to give the illusion that a tree that begins on the living room floor ends up shooting through the roof.
"When I told the guy at the tree farm what I was after, he asked if I knew how tall 12 feet was and pointed me to the peak of a barn."
They settled on a 13-footer that dwarfed the family minivan.
"We strapped it to the roof, and I drove real slow down I-5," Mike said.
When they got home, he topped the tree at a little more than 7 1/2 feet and the family went to work decorating the lower half.
Then, with help from his teen-age son, Colin, and one of Colin's friends, he positioned the crown atop the roof to complete the illusion.
But it wasn't easy.
"It was the only time in my life I've used the Pythagorean theorem, and it actually worked," said Mike, who now knows firsthand that a<219> plus b<219> really does equal c<219>.
A roofer friend told him not to worry about any damage to the roof - he'd be happy to repair it. So Mike and the two boys bolted the tree to the roof using a board and some wire stays.
"And if it leaks this winter, you're in trouble," the still skeptical Gayle said.
Some neighbors have needled him by asking if he needs to borrow any tar to patch the roof, but they seem to like it, Mike said.
"It's real subtle," Gayle said. "You go by and you kind of have to do a double take."
So why did she object for so long?
"I was concerned about being in the house with no star on top, and the top of the tree missing," she said. "I thought it would look kind of stupid from the inside. And it does.
"But the kids have always wanted to do this," she said. "They were so happy and enthusiastic. I'm glad I gave in.
"But I don't know about next year. I miss the star on top."
It's hardly the first time dad has hatched a crazy holiday prank, according to son Colin and daughter Leah.
Halloween has long been a favorite - especially the time Mike had Colin dress like a stuffed scarecrow and sit motionless on the porch bench to scare unsuspecting trick-or-treaters.
And what has the family learned from this year's tree- and roof-trimming experience?
"That if we pressure mom enough, we can do anything," Colin said.
"I've learned that they won't stop asking, so give in sooner," Gayle said.
"And I've learned that my dad's not all talk," Leah said.
And the two family dogs - they haven't stopped wagging their tails since the tree arrived.
-- Anonymous, December 18, 2002