Now when I am offered jobs, the back ground check shows my having been arrested for DV. School districts then retract their offers. How do I get the Dept. Of Justice record expunged or whatever.

-- Anonymous, December 26, 2002

Answers

ha ha u went to jail for nothing ha what a loser

-- Anonymous, December 28, 2002

Mr. Fryman, I'm not sure what avenues you can take, although probably someone here might. I just wanted to give you a positive response, so that you wouldn't have that jerk as the only one who responded to you.

More and more, people are realizing that DV isn't just a male-on- female problem. These are encouraging times for people in your situation. I recommend that when you apply for a job, you state right up front what happened so it doesn't look like you're hiding something. Perhaps, if you refer the school district to this site, it will lend more credence to your case. I don't think it could hurt, anyway. Good luck.

-- Anonymous, December 29, 2002

First of all getting arrested, particularly falsely, is no laughing matter. Unfortunately, a few jerks like the first answerer, waste time and space. I can only hope that you didn't plead guilty to the false charge. The police in Canada, where I live,(outrageously) set their own policies reguarding the information they keep and disclose.This can happen based on arrests not on convictions. This is different than a criminal record. A criminal record can go to a national data base whether you were found guilty on not. The police here lie and say that the finger prints, photos and charges are automatically removed if you are found not guilty. This is not true. It is actually easier to have that info removed from the national data base (if you know it exists, because they won't tell you)when you request it with proof of inocence (judgement etc.) than it is to get info on you removed from local police files. The latter isn't a "criminal record", it's a file that the police keep on you and sometimes will share with outside agencies. If this is what they are doing to you, I suggest that you write a formal strongly worded letter to the local chief of police telling him your intention to sue if false information continues to be given to 3rd parties. This may only work if you have been proven inocent. Good luck. Ron

-- Anonymous, December 31, 2002

mr fryman

The Police ( Much like the courts) believe whatever the woman says. Do not ever call the police when you are having an issue with a female. Her word will be taken as the gospel truth. Unfortunatly domestic violence is only considered serious when it is the man hitting the woman. I actually recently heard women laughing at a guy who had been beat by his wife. That is real funny. I saw cops a few weeks ago man, too funny. This girl was pushing, kicking and spitting on her boyfriend the cops sat in the car laughing at him. Finally he pushed her back and instantaneously they had him pinned against the hood of the car. The Justice system in this country is 100% for females.

-- Anonymous, January 09, 2003

To Rons Comp:

It probably differs from place to place--how seriously the police treat female-on-male abuse, that is. Remember the case of Chuck Finley. The baseball player was assaulted by his wife, Tawny Kitaen. A third party, a neighbor, saw the abrasions on Finley's body and called the police, who arrested Kitaen. Finley successfully filed a restraining order against her.

By the way, did you say anything to those two women who were making a joke out of that fellow's situation?

-- Anonymous, January 10, 2003

After reading the above articles referencing the unfair treatment for men vs women in an abusive situation, "back in the old days" you were right, the male was prone to a harsher punishment & treatment than that of the females. But not anymore, if the authorities are called in a domestic violence report, all the police have to do is see physical injuries to the male just like the female usually has. Or if the female looks battered but the male has scratch marks, just anything that indicates an abusive situation, handcuffs are placed on both the male & female & both are off singing the jailhouse blues. I believe the best way to put it, is the system is tired of the boys/girls in blue arresting the "husband" take the time, energy & money to house this male partner only to have the case "thrown out" especially after everyone calms down the next morning, everyone is sober (if alcohol is involved) Usually the wife doesn't want to press any charges, all is forgiven only to start all over again the following weekend. The system wants to put both partners in some kind of therapy, counseling for the two, because it is usually an on going situation. The only way to get both in this treatment program is to arrest both & make this part of the sentence. But if this doesn't work out after the first time of couseling, I believe we start seeing the harsher sentences handed down. I can tell you the stats for murdered spouses, but I do know that you have more husbands/boyfriends killing their wifes/girlfriends. Yes, you will have the abusive female at times just like the incident of our famous baseball player & his once beautiful actress/wife. But in cases like that, it usually turns out just like it did. He packs up & leaves. The female victims, well, it's not that easy for them to pack up & leave, a lot of the time she doesn't really want to, she blindly thinks they can work it out. But, I'm not going to get started on that. I could go on & on about all the different types of domestic abuse. I hope this makes sense & you can understand, it's 5:16am & i haven't been to bed YET!!! >yawn< so goodnight all, & thank you for taking your time in reading my now ramblings of a sleep deprived female.

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2003

Thanks for your response, Gena. I hope you're right about police departments (more and more) taking an approach that is fair to both males and females.

One point you made was that men can leave the situation more easily than females. In a society in which more men still work than women do, this is partially true. On the other hand, if the man leaves, he may be seen as abandoning his wife, and, often, kid(s). This doesn't look good when the man and woman separate, and she often gets the kid (s) because of his having left, regardless of the circumstances.

I think it all reverts to how we treat abused men. When they are taken more seriously and given equal assistance, these other side- issues will be put into perspective.

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2003