My question has two parts. First my fiance and I have been dating for 4 years. He has a child from a previous relationship (not a marriage) and we had a child togeather 4 months ago. We greatly respect the sacredness of marriage, and although we wre physically togeather prior to marriage we regularly attend mass and strive to raise our children to respect Gods law. I have asked God to for give me for our sin and to help me live as he wishes me to. I was baptised catholic and have been with the same church all my life untill recently when we moved to CO and joined another Catholic parish. My husband to be was raised in a non-denominational faith; however his family is not very religious, and he attends mass with me. He is not opposed to converting to catholisism in the future. The child we had out of wedlock was baptised at 2 months (in the Catholic church) and his daughter attends mass with us (we are working with her mother for permission to baptise her in the Catholic faith aswell). Now that I have explained my background, my question is..... Are we able to be wed in a catholic church? and How am I to bring all this up to the prist who is marring us? Please help!

-- Kristin Lousie Conley (kradano2@aol.com), January 04, 2003

Answers

Response to mixed maggiage with child out of wedlock

Dear Kristin,

From what you described, it seems quite certain that a marriage in the Catholic Church is something you should be able to achieve, if you are willing to do what is required to achieve it. Neither of you has any previous marital relationships that would have to be worked out - that's good. From your description of your fiance's background, it sounds likely that he is not baptized? That would be a major obstacle, but not one that cannot be addressed. If he plans on entering the Church (converting), it would be easiest if he pursued that first. The standard course of instruction a person receives in preparation for entering the church (The RCIA program) leads directly to baptism (when necessary), as well as the sacraments of Reconciliation, First Communion, and Confirmation, and formal entrance into the Church. you might want to take the classes with him, if you can manage it with the children, both to support him, and to increase your own understanding of the faith. Also, the two of you would be in a better position to discuss faith matters, and to grow spiritually together. In any case, the first step is to contact your priest, explain your situation just as you did here, and let him advise you on how to proceed.

Peace! Paul

-- Paul (PaulCyp@cox.net), January 04, 2003.