I wanna know , (Sorry for my bad expression)

If 2 catholic persons wanna marry eachother , but they decide only to have a civil marriage , what is your opinion ??

2 friends of mine , they still are catholics , but never go to church , they say that's their only reason not to marry for church

Greets from a NON BELIEVER:

-- Laurent LUG (.@...), January 23, 2003

Answers

I think you should remind them that 50% of all civil marriages end in divorce within 5 years - but that only 3% of Catholic marriages end in divorce if the couple have a) began to go to Church regularly (that is, getting serious with God) and b) learn and use Natural Family Planning instead of contraception.

EVERYONE (ok, 99%) of us will eventually marry. And none of us gets married thinking that the relationship, the "love" is going to end in 5 years with saddness and bitterness. But divorce happens.

And couples normally don't divorce because their sex life was unhappy. They divorce because all the other aspects of life and friendship began to slip...the delicacy of conscience, the selflessness, the willingness to sacrifice for the other person, to persever in fidelity even when other opportunities come knocking...

Prayer and the sacraments (going to Church) is a BIG HELP, and learning all the wonders and miracles that female fertility is also helps the man see his wife and pregnancy not as an object for lust or an obstacle to fun, but as a very special person and a little miracle of joy.

I don't know of a single couple who have divorced while using NFP and who have a regular spiritual life.

God bless you

-- Joe Stong (Joestong@Yahoo.com), January 23, 2003.

The real question is - in what sense are these two people Catholic? They don't practice the faith they claim as theirs, they don't worship as Catholics, they don't know much about the Catholic faith, and apparently they don't know much or care much about marriage from a Catholic perspective; so why do they call themselves Catholic? In any case, if they are Catholic, a civil ceremony will not be a vaild marriage, and the Church will not consider them married. Given their apparent views on marriage, it is quite possible that their marriage would not be valid even if they had it in a Catholic church, unless they are willing to receive some serious instruction first.

-- Paul (PaulCyp@cox.net), January 23, 2003.

I agree with Paul. If they "never go to Church", why would they care what the Church says about their marital status?

-- Christine L. :-) (christine_lehman@hotmail.com), January 23, 2003.

On the question of why? said to be Catholic without attending on a regular basis - my thoughts go to so many who are " cradle " catholics and surprisingly will return to the Church in times of need. Conditioning or love is the question? After all why burn our bridges behind us?

-- jean bouchard (jeanb@cwk.imag.net), January 23, 2003.

I think you should remind them that 50% of all civil marriages end in divorce within 5 years - but that only 3% of Catholic marriages end in divorce if the couple have a) began to go to Church regularly (that is, getting serious with God) and b) learn and use Natural Family Planning instead of contraception.

In my eyes , a marriage is based on trust , open for , listen to eachother , religion has nothing to do with it ,'cause (example) a muslim & catholic , atheist & catholic , they can live together or marry eachother !! __ But in some cases , religion can be an obstacle , because of different thoughts !!

So , you said only 3% of all catholic marriage ends in divorce ???? Please , show us proof !! Yeah , I've red what you wrote as a & b , but that's no proof !!

I Know a couple , they lived together for 7 years , than they decided to marry (only a civil marriage ==> 7 years ago) and they are still together , their oldest kid 5,5years old , their youngest 2 !!!!

But indeed , there are a lot couples which have a divorce caused by stupidity , "deafness" , but it really doesn't matter if you are a believer or not !!!!

-- Laurent LUG (.@...), January 27, 2003.

I agree with Paul. If they "never go to Church", why would they care what the Church says about their marital status?

OK , there are a lot of people who never went or go to church but marry for church for stupid reasons: traditions , because of their parents , show , for their fiancé(e) , because they allready do have kids ....

As a NON believer , neither do I like those comedians , only marry for church , if you BOTH believe in it or in any other cases , nope !!!!

Greets from a NON believer:

-- Laurent LUG (.@...), January 27, 2003.

I have seen the quote "50% of ALL marriages end in divorce"--I'd like to know where the 3% Catholic divorce rate quote comes from. Also, I know many people who are not Catholic whose marriages have withstood the test of time. Just because you go to engagement encounter or Pre- Cana is no guarantee of marriage success (and staying together just to stay together is not the same as having a happy marriage, either).

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), January 27, 2003.

Just Testing , 'cause indeed , there is really something wrong with the software , I do not understand it ; what , who's messing with it and why ????

Greets from a NON BELIEVER:

-- Laurent LUG (.@...), January 29, 2003.

GT writes:

"I'd like to know where the 3% Catholic divorce rate"

Hi GT,

The divorce rate for nominal Catholics is roughly the same as the general population (~50%). The 3% rate (roughly)may refer to a survey of married couples who practice NFP and are Catholics. I don't know how scientifically valid the survey was (standard deviations, etc).

At the Couple-to-Couple League (NFP organization) website, they discuss their statistics, and acknowledge the small sample of their surveys. Their statistics are good signs of a possible link between NFP and low divorce rates. Here's the link.

I don't think it's any surprise that when one focuses on people who take their commitment to God seriously, they also take their marital commitment seriously.

God bless you,

Mateo

-- (MattElFeo@netscape.net), January 29, 2003.