To wallow or not to wallow? : LUSENET : GLASSER Choice Theory & Reality Therapy : One Thread

The following is an excerpt taken from The Choices Activity News bulletin. It is dated Jan. 13, 2003. A fellow Choice Theorist posed a question this week, regarding "depressing." I happened upon this bulletin entry in my computer. It might shed some light.

TO WALLOW OR NOT TO WALLOW? There’s not even a question!

CT/RT worked for me with the help of a friend!  I don't know about you, but the Sunday before we came back, I was choosing to "bum-out." After church, thoughts of not being ready to return to school ran rampant through my head. I ended up laying in bed alternately watching the San Francisco-New York wild card football game, eating barbecue potato chips, and napping. WHAT DID I WANT? I could not say specifically, but laying in bed, eating, watching football, and feeling "down" wasn't it. I had options--shoot baskets with my son, go on the side hill and shoot 22's, go to the 200 gym and play basketball. Last Friday, Brad Baker (my basketball partner) said he would be opening the gym at 2:00 Sunday afternoon, so going to play basketball in Toppenish from home was a possibility. As it was 2:45 and I continued to "wallow" in bed, I had apparently decided to pass on the basketball option.

However, as fortune would have it, Brad called at 2:50 to say he was at the Kirkwood (School) 200 gym with three other players ready to play some ball. After he asked if I was coming down, it didn't take long to give an affirmative reply. (Note that I didn't specifically know what I wanted, but I was sure what I didn't want.) I did go down to play, in fact, I took my son, Deryk, with me. I played miserably, blowing several easy shots. But I got some good exercise, shared some good company, and avoided depressing in bed watching football. In our last game, Deryk was allowed to play against another younger player, so we could play 5 on 5. Near the end of the game, he was able to benefit from a screen and get free for a shot. With absolutely no hesitation, he caught the ball and "let 'er fly." Hey, what do you mean? Of course he made it!

With the help of another, I was able to choose appropriate behaviors to effectively meet my needs. In the process, I was able to arrange a situation, during which another (my son) was able to meet his own needs. I needed a "burr under my saddle" and a friend supplied it.  Lesson--when we are in a situation substantially less than what we want, perhaps we should accept any opportunity to change it. I shared this experience with one 5th grade class and posed the question, "Did anyone else feel like this on Sunday?" One boy shared, "I was like that all week." Bummer! There is a new country song now playing, This Ain't No Practice Life. The life we currently live isn't for practice, isn't for slacking-off, isn't to waste, and isn't for rehearsing the feeling of regret. We (I) have to literally "cut loose" and "go for it."

-- Ted Donato (, April 01, 2003


it seems bat ti9mes i am so tired that i can barel stand up -and then the miracle happens -a good friend's face appears in front of my eyes -a random thot-and a need..... to see that person.... a need to make them happy comes over i decide to go to my friend - my chemistry and i find incredible amounts of strength hidden deep inside -only shook free by my desire or even need to make one of my small adopted family happy ......cheers .......

-- julian porter (, April 01, 2003.

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