Validity of marriage & annulment

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I am a lifelong Catholic, my wife was Methodist and converted to the Catholic church. She was pregnant when we were married by a Baptist minister. Later we had a Catholic Priest bless our Marriage. There were no witnesses in the Catholic church nor any documentation. We have now been married 23 years, our children are now grown, and I'm considering getting out of the marriage. My wifes mom suffered from mental illness and me and the kids have put up with mental and verbal abuse from my wife. Is my marriage valid in the catholic church and what is the chances of annulement?

-- Cal (loykascj@bp.com), April 14, 2003

Answers

That question can be answered only by a marriage tribunal. There are several important factors to be considered, just based on your brief statement.

-- Paul (PaulCyp@cox.net), April 14, 2003.

actually, this is a good question. you can always leave your wife without an annulment, but you could never be with another woman in that case, without it being adultery. the thing is, that a marraige outside of a catholic church isnt recognized, but a priest did bless the marraige. im not sure that a blessing equates a marraige in the catholic church, but it might. the best you could do is to try for the annulment, and if you cant then just leave and deal with it again at some other time.

-- paul (dontSendMeMail@notAnAddress.com), April 14, 2003.

Cal, Stop asking yourself what are your chances of getting out, and start asking yourself if you have done everything that you possibly could to preserve your marriage in a healthy way. Perhaps a temporary separation would be needed...or get counselling. Just do whatever you can first before seeking to get out. The Pope in his speech to the Rota this year addresses your situation directly:

7. In this perspective, for example, it is necessary to take seriously the obligation imposed on the judge by canon 1676 to favour and to seek actively the possible convalidation and reconciliation of the marriage. Naturally the same attitude of support for marriage and the family must prevail before turning to the tribunal. In pastoral assistance consciences must be patiently enlightened with the truth concerning the transcendent duty of fidelity presented in an attractive and favourable way. Working towards a positive overcoming of marital conflicts and in providing assistance to the faithful who are in an irregular marital situation, it is necessary to create a synergy that involves everyone in the church: pastors of souls, jurists, experts in the psychological and psychiatric sciences, other laity, especially those who are married and have life experience. All must keep in mind that they are dealing with a sacred reality and with a question that touches on the salvation of souls.

And from the 2002 Speech:

One cannot give in to the divorce mentality: confidence in the natural and supernatural gifts of God to man prevents that. Pastoral activity must support and promote indissolubility. The doctrinal aspects should be transmitted, clarified and defended, but even more important are consistent actions. Whenever a couple is going through difficulties, the sympathy of Pastors, and of the other faithful must be combined with clarity and fortitude in remembering that conjugal love is the way to work out a positive solution to their crisis. Given that God has united them by means of an indissoluble bond, the husband and wife by utilizing all their human resources, together with good will, and by, above all, confiding in the assistance of divine grace, can and should emerge from their moments of crisis renewed and strengthened.

6. When one considers the role of law in marital crises, all too often one thinks almost exclusively of processes that ratify the annulment of marriage or the dissolution of the bond. At times, this mentality extends even to canon law, so that it appears as the avenue for resolving the marital problems of the faithful in a way that does not offend one's conscience. There is indeed some truth to this, but these eventual solutions must be examined in a way that the indissolubility of the bond, whenever it turns out to be validly contracted, continues to be safeguarded. The attitude of the Church is, in contrast, favourable to convalidating, where possible, marriages that are otherwise null (cf. CIC, can. 1676; CCEO, can. 1362). It is true that the declaration of the nullity of a marriage, based on the truth acquired by means of a legitimate process, restores peace to the conscience, but such a declaration - and the same holds true for the dissolution of a marriage that is ratum non consummatum or a dissolution based upon the privilege of the faith - must be presented and effected in an ecclesial context that is totally favourable to the indissolubility of marriage and to family founded upon it. The spouses themselves must be the first to realize that only in the loyal quest for the truth can they find their true good, without excluding a priori the possible convalidation of a union that, although it is not yet a sacramental marriage, contains elements of good, for themselves and their children, that should be carefully evaluated in conscience before reaching a different decision.

-- Pat Delaney (patrickrdelaney@yahoo.com), April 24, 2003.


Good for you, Pat.

-- Karl (Parkerkajwen@hotmail.com), April 27, 2003.

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