Forum Limericks

greenspun.com : LUSENET : Catholic : One Thread

I want to show that it's possible for us to disagree, dispute, even bicker, and still have fun. My only disclaimer will be to urge you to please take the following with a very large grain of salt. Without further adieu, and in no particular order, I offer the following: Ever the optimist, Gene -
In such manner as I've never seen
Uses words to be clever,
But he rerely if ever
Fails to be thought of as mean.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 26, 2003

Answers

By waving his doctrinal sword
JFG thinks he pleases the Lord.
Through his lack of decorum,
He'll empty the forum
With dissenters expelled in a hoard.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 26, 2003.

Staunchly Traditional Ed
Will let nothing go to his head.
With strong words he will rave
For Archbishop Lefebvre,
And continue to do so till dead.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 26, 2003.

Isabel doesn't aspire
To be thought of by man any higher.
She makes so much sense
In Tradition's defense
That the liberals all call her a liar.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 26, 2003.

There once was a schismatic called Jake

Who thought a good Catholic he’d make

His thoughts were in Latin

But not from the Vatican

Surely one day a Protestant he’ll make!

last post didn't format, sorry

-- Sara (sara_catholic_forum@yahoo.co.uk), April 26, 2003.


Thank you for the reason to smile.

Karl

-- Karl (parkerkajwen@hotmail.com), April 26, 2003.



ROFL

-- Mike H. (michael.hitzelberger@vscc.cc.tn.us), April 26, 2003.

Sara, who liked to call names,
Accuse, hate, and play silly games:
Couldn't argue a bit;
She's no substance, all wit.
And her Limerick stylings are lame.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 26, 2003.

There once was a schismatic named Jake

who prefered "dish out" over "take"

we hope before he's too old

he will rejoin Christ's fold

Or down with LeFebvre he'll Bake!

Hee hee, still alive here, and checking in time to time.

Frank

-- Someone (ChimingIn@twocents.cam), April 26, 2003.


Funny thread... I like it. I even like the ones I disagree with.

OMG* I'm slipping into ecumenism.

*OMG = "Oh my gosh"

Sorry, I drew a blank there for minute...

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 26, 2003.


This forum was a disaster
With Frank Someone as its master.
Like a floodgate came in
Posts loaded with sin.
People couldn't have left any faster.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 26, 2003.


A limerick can be amusing
When a person it is not abusing
But ad hominem attacks
Christian charity lacks
And the poster his respect is losing

-- Paul (PaulCyp@cox.net), April 27, 2003.

Yes, Paul that's true

(the prior post made by you)

but for schism and dissent

this forum was not meant

but for Catholics to express all their views.

Frank

-- Someone (chimingIn@twocents.cam), April 27, 2003.


Paul, don't speak of abuse.
This thread, more or less, is a truce.
It isn't my fault
You forgot to take salt
And tied up your rope in a noose.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 27, 2003.

A Catholic Canadian called Ed

Once wrote on the forum and said

It behoves no behooves me John G.

No more Just War debate there will be

Until my ramblings are in English instead!

-- Ed (catholic4444@yahoo.ca), April 27, 2003.


I am no saint, it is true.
I have sin on my soul, so do you.
Just don't be a fanatic
And label "schismatic"
What's old just because it's not new!

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 27, 2003.


You guys are a riot!

But I'll just sit here and be quiet...

This thread is making me laugh so hard I'm rolling on the floor!

Jake, Ed, Paul, someone, Sarah, come one guys give me some more!

All these limericks are so funny, not gonna deny it.

-- Robert P (Robertp234@hotmail.com), April 27, 2003.


There truly is something sublime
In the nature of reason and rhyme
That the whole ball of wax
Will rest on the facts
And bring vindication in time

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 27, 2003.

“Bravo, Paul, and well said!”
But don’t let it go to your head
Some one had to say it
I couldn’t delay it
With that, then, I’m off and to bed
lol! Peace to you all, to you Paul... to you John and Eugene, everyone. Hey, I don't dislike half of you half as well as I should like and I dislike less than half of you half as well as you deserve...

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 27, 2003.

As odd as it likely may seem
It's with hope that I seek to redeem
A notion of clarity
A rebound of charity
If even it ruptures my spleen

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 27, 2003.

All too quickly sleep passes away
Tomorrow is God's holy Day
Dawn will soon come to pass
Get the kids dressed for Mass
But for now, In manus tuas, Domine...

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 27, 2003.

heres one for jake thats not so hateful:

there once was a guy named jake, his old ways he wouldnt forsake, thats fine by me, cus im right you see, but thats my particular take.

-- paul (dontSendMeMail@notAnAddress.com), April 27, 2003.


This post conciliar portfolio
Of souls in service to Cornholio
They fail to stake
The positions they make
On the precepts of glorious Domino


-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 27, 2003.

Are you threatening me?

Hahaha!

God bless ye all. Really, I mean it.

Anybody want a peanut?

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 27, 2003.


There once was a mod named Paul,

who sometimes got to us all,

with some of his ****

Though i must really admit

that he does seem to know it all

-- paul (dontSendMeMail@notAnAddress.com), April 27, 2003.


To the moderator of late named Frank
Who's purged every foul-mouthy prank
of things of the heart
he's played more than his part
And for that we the One God the thank Frank, thank God you're still alive and somewhat well... to fight yet another day. God bless!

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 27, 2003.

Confirming the Neos' suspicion,
Emerald discoverd Tradition.
now he says Holy "Ghost"
and with jake he will roast
Because they're the Twins of Perdition.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 27, 2003.

NeoModernist thought will betray 'ya
Not unlike a round of Tequila
If you drink down the bottle
Half cocked and full throttle
You might end up eating the worm

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 27, 2003.

Now wait a minute... that last line doesn't rhyme. Now see what happens when you step outside the formula? Dang it.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 27, 2003.

I just had a another dream, and I want to scream. I'm a poet and don't even know it.

Just in fun. Don't believe a word I say about my dreams.

-- Elpidio (Egonzalez@srla.org), April 27, 2003.


I've no talent for this, It is true, But can't resist posting A limerick too,

So bear with me, dear forum, In my lack of decorum,

Just wish I was gifted as you!

-- Anna <>< (flower@youknow.com), April 27, 2003.


What could be saying dear Anna?
There's nothing that's wrong with your stanza
It likes fine to me
Looks casual and free
Please join in our poetic bonanza

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 27, 2003.

Curious questions arise
Did a friendship fall to demise?
Where's my friend Mateo
My apology, Deo
Perhaps I'm the one to despise

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 27, 2003.

I'm only absent a day or two

And look, the forum has turned into a zoo

You all think you have a good wit

But you can't rhyme worth a *!?#

What is a schismatic like me to do?

-- Isabel (isabel@yahoo.com), April 27, 2003.


lol!!!!!

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 27, 2003.

This thread is an absolute riot!

-- Isabel (isabel@yahoo.com), April 27, 2003.

To the man with such wit you can taste it To kiwi my friend... let's just face it When engaged in a brawl just add alcohol and you'll have an instant (I won't say it)

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

oops. To the man with such wit you can taste it
To kiwi my friend... let's just face it
When engaged in a brawl
just add alcohol
and you'll have an instant (I won't say it)

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

To my distant relation Joe Stong
Who reckons I've took to the bong
Just listen to reason
For war there's a season
And right now the reasons are wrong

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

For John have I rendered this post
Who's skin I am under the most
still waiting in vain
(I know I'm a pain)
For the answer I'm wanting the most

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

Kiwi, that was supposed to be a compliment; hope you saw it the way I did. =)

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

When the tide of life goes against you

And the current upsets your boat,

Don't waste those tears on what might have been,

Just lay on your back and float.

(With apologies to Edward L. Norton}

-- Ed Richards (loztra@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.


For Eugene, yeah buddy you're next
With your artful italics-laced text
Be careful when pointing
Your barbs of annointing
On Christ's Church your comment reflects


With that being said I confess
That a heart of true gold you possess
No doubt it's on fire
For things that are higher
And I don't love you any none less

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

Dear Emerald, whose name keeps a falling through each thread with comments appalling Your poetry speaks Your clarity reeks It's clear, you've found a new calling

-- Leon (vol@weblink2000.net), April 28, 2003.

OPPS!

Dear Emerald, whose name keeps a falling Through each thread, with comments appalling Your poetry speaks Your Clarity reeks It's clear, you've found a new calling

-- Leon (vol@weblink2000.net), April 28, 2003.


This aint how I won my wife over
It wasn't in crimson and clover
It's not all that flowery
She had this endowery
She tells me this over and over.


That's not true, actually.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

Do this: at the end of each line, put [br], except does use the [ and] brackets, use those < and > thingys. Then it'll format right.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

Geez. What I mean is, do this: at the end of each line, put [br], except don't use the [ and ] brackets, but use those < and > thingys. Then it'll format right.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

there once was a cool guy named joe
who thought off to war we should go
i must say i agree
though its just him and me
dont you hate being the only ones that know?

-- paul (dontSendMeMail@notAnAddress.com), April 28, 2003.

Why thankyou I think my dear Emerald In my army Id make you my General For I can never seem to keep things amiable And my own tone at the least is questionable SOme might even say untraditional!

Ha that really stinks but what the heck, LOL see you all folks ;-)

-- Kiwi (csisherwood@hotmail.com), April 28, 2003.


Never leave to a boy the Man's work,
All that grief at the state of My Church
All thy pretense about taking offense for the glory of God just a pretense? Didn't God ask your kindly permission to send down Lord, such a painful derision on thy holier than thou tradition what pretends to such singular vision? Oh say, good wool-sack. What mutter you?

-- eugene c. chavez (loschavez@pacbell.net), April 28, 2003.

What it is that I mutter is thus
That our words before God are like puss
You know what I mean
Thouh I’m fully unclean
In His Passion I place all my trust

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

I'm having a really great time
Through this whirlwind of meter and rhyme
Let's just keep on writing
Let's leave all the fighting
To the bedwetting liberal slime.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 28, 2003.

By Jove, Eugene, that's the spirit!
Let poetry flow, and don't fear it.
The Ols Mass' appeal
Will seem the more real
The closer that you draw near it.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 28, 2003.

To Regina I now must impart
Some lines from the depths of my heart:
Stop being so silly
Don't serve me your chili
You know how that stuff makes me fart.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 28, 2003.

LOL!! Jake, Surely that was more than we needed to know
Poor Regina has to live this schmo
Not an ounce of romance
Probably can't even dance
Wouldn't suprise me if he's a little slow.

-- Isabel (isabel@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

Isabel dear, don't complain
I know that I can be a pain.
You're very nice looking
But I bet your cooking
Gets regularly poured down the drain.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 28, 2003.

Some folks on this thread claim we're fake Four of us now, plus a guy they call call Jake,

They dogmatic declare that we're Prods and schmismatic,

And even suggest, we've got squirrels in our attic.

-- Ed Richards (loztra@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.


It's now Sunday morning, we're all off to Mass Thirty miles we will drive, many churches will pass The Neo's in turn, out the door they will lurch Hang a right for two blocks and behold, there's their church We continue to drive for a mile or two more, And fnally arrive, at our chapel's front door

-- Ed Richards (loztra@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

Ed, that was clearly the worst!
For proper lim'rick format I thirst!
These two lines in the middle
Must rhyme more than a little
And the last line must rhyme with the first.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 28, 2003.

I repent of thee Jake You're advice I do take You're words here will rule I will go back to school I will look at you now as my greatest helpa Go so far as to say a good "Mia culpa"

-- Ed Richards (loztra@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

There once was a plane called "38" twin props and guns, it was great but alas it was used in war so we can't talk of it anymore.

-- joe (joestong@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

I’ll use my word perfect

It’s more to my taste

Write out what I want

And then I will paste

-- Ed Richards (loztra@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.


Joe that P-38 was a doozy. Best of the line. The Japs and Germans had some scary name or other for it. History channel buff.

-- Ed Richards (loztra@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

Please excuse my improper rhyme,

I surely will learn it in time The best thing I do, is knock Vatican two,

Pray the Church will come back into line.

-- Ed Richards (loztra@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.


why ed, thats the best that we've seen
im sorry, that came off mean
but your poetry skill,
is rather nill
but at least you try to keep it clean

-- paul (dontSendMeMail@notAnAddress.com), April 28, 2003.

That one about the chili; man that was good. For complaints about chili... the gall!
You know that she's truly a doll
'Cuz if you saw my pic
I look like a stick
You'd swear mine don't feed me at all

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

for all those who dont know how to write a limerick... a limerick is a verse quite occursed
whose contents tend to the worst
the first two lines rhyme
the second two keep time
and the fifth one rhymes with the first.

-- paul (dontSendMeMail@notAnAddress.com), April 28, 2003.

Paul, Ed is trying but stumbling
Don't mock his poetical fumbling
Please don't think me rude
But my wife's spicy food
Is the cause of intestinal rumbling

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 28, 2003.

Regina, my love, knows I'm kidding
I think I should now do her bidding
If I keep it up
I'll throw out the pup
'Cause in the doghouse I'll be sitting.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 28, 2003.

Regina, don't stand for slack!
You know, you can give it right back
Just add cuyanne pepper
In triple the measure
To put a clean stop to this flak

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

He thought that he was so darn cute
When he left home today in his suit
But when he gets back
And his supper's burnt black
I'll pour his beer into his boot!

-- Regina (Regina712@lycos.com), April 28, 2003.

I just returned from the dentist
I see jake is still being a menace
Emerald will check him
Or, Regina will deck him
Better yet, make him do penance. Over my cooking I do not gloat
I've never made anyone choak
Chicken and dumplings are my best
But my kids eat all the rest
(Probably because I force it down their throat.) No intestinal rumbling allowed at the table
But the boys slip them in when they're able
Maybe I should give them to jake
But I doubt Regina would take
Two more boys wearing crude as a label.

-- Isabel (isabel@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

You do that, Regina, don't linger
Take aim and aim small, hit dead ringer
If that doesn't work
To forestall his lame quirk
Then resort to the perenial... well, maybe it's time for me to shut up now, huh? lol!

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

Better yet, how 'bout no supper at all?
Make him starve, since he has some gall
Say "Don't let the door hit you
Where the Good Lord split you"
"Come back with roses and crawl"

-- Isabel (isabel@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

Isabel, let's remove doubt.
The boys slip them not "in," but out.
Did the dentist's disdain
Cause you much pain?
May your stash of painkillers run out.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 28, 2003.

For the Nuvos this thread is a boon
For relief of Traditionalist loon
While we sit here and rhyme
Thereby wasting our time
Elsewhere they'll continue their tune!

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

To jake, you have wronged me, I feel
For starting this limerick ordeal
I'm wasting away
With casual play
My first day off work in a while

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

If JFG wrote with poetic penache
Before my eyes my life would flash.
I'd put on clown pants
And do a clown dance
Like a nun at a New Order Mass

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 28, 2003.

'Bout flashes, take warning my man
Make amendments as fast as you can
A flash it'll be
From your good wife you'll see
In the form of a flash of a pan
but...
I'm only just kidding 'bout chili
A natural ally I am really
If you ever come here
We'll sit and drink beer
And tease both our poor dear wives silly

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

Really jake you are mistaken
It was not me to the dentist I was takin'
My son, a tooth he did break
Right at the beginning of spring break
I can tell for his painkillers, you're achin'
You know you will need them when you get home
And for your food you will have to roam
You'll get no pity from me
Beside Regina I'll be
For painkillers, you're on your own.

-- Isabel (isabel@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

There's no need to be quite so sour
I could always pick up some nice flowers.
If that doesn't work
And she thinks I'm a jerk
Well then, that's why they made Happy Hour!

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 28, 2003.

A problem that's bigger than even
All the errors the Nuvo's believe in
Is the sin in the Garden
I please beg your pardon
It's the women that started the 'bleedin!

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

Oooooo! Ouch!

-- Isabel (isabel@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

I'm safe for now. Monica is at the store...

Nyah nyah!

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.


There now not a party I’ve missed
Not a group of poor souls ain’t dissed
I’ve dug my own hole
It’s taking it’s toll
When gone they’ll say I won’t be missed


-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

With limericks I just aint so good>... Please excuse a poor kid from the hood>... .. ... ...

-- Ed Richards (loztra@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

With limericks I just aint so good>... Please excuse a poor kid from the hood>... .. ... ... Hope this one isn't intercepted by Martians

-- Ed Richards (loztra@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

With limericks I just aint so good Please excuse a poor kid from the hood Don’t really live there But would you really care Don’t think that you would, but you could

I sound nuts but these things aint gettin' through like I write them.

-- Ed Richards (loztra@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.


Emerald, I thought you were getting distressed
And from this thread you might digress
Go, enjoy your day off
For your last rhyme made me scoff
Poor Monica, I feel for her stress
No, I don't really want you to go
Unless you're a shismatic like jake, though
And I know your just joking
And some fun you are poking
Because without women, men would be up ?!#* creek (you know.)

-- Isabel (isabel@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

For your last rhyme made me scoff

Actually, I was a bit slow. It is not your second to last. lol.

-- Isabel (isabel@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.


The wily old Serpent, in fact
From Eve did not catch too much flack.
It was her, after all
Who caused Adam to fall
And we still have to pay for her snack.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 28, 2003.

It is not your second to last

Ooops! It is now your second to last. Maybe I should digress, eh?

-- Isabel (isabel@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.


My five liners are coming out two In that case just what should I do Can't vent my frustration That could cause constipation So this last line must carry me through

-- Ed Richards (loztra@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

Jake, When Emerald leaves you may go with him
Because you can't take the heat given
You two are just upset
Because Adam also gave his consent
To bite the fruit that was forbidden.

-- Isabel (isabel@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

Here's what you should do my dear Ed
A tip that will comfort your head
At the top of your browser
Find "page source" and see there
What others are doing instead


At the end of each line, put this in: br
around the br, on the left put a < and on the right of it put a >. It will look like this: [br], except that the [ and the ] will actually be a < and a >, but I can't do that here because it will disappear, like it will when you use it, except that your lines will come out right. Hope that helps...

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

Had we not let ourselves be so smitten
And had left the bad apple unbitten
We'd not have to pay
With our labor each day
Not to mention help out in the kitchen

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

Please, Isabel, not to worry
To leave I am not in a hurry
But when I act the louse
Ask for help 'round the house
And I'm sure to retreat in a scurry

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.

Thank you Emerald for your nice advice,br> I hope that these lines come out nice
If this time it don’t work
I’l remain just a jerk
Throw these limericks back on the ice
With the rest of the beer.

-- Ed Richards (loztra@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

Hey Ed, nice work! You almost achieved the fullness of the truth; the only reason that first line didn't work is because you missed a < symbol.

Geez, us Trads are so very technical, so very strict. Ahhh...

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 28, 2003.


Bravo, Ed! You almost did it!

-- Isabel (isabel@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

For my scathing (yet witty) remarks
I felt no bite but lots of bark
She was in no mood
I stopped for fast food
Then took the kids out to the park

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 28, 2003.

Thanks very much for your cheers
Wish we could share a few beers
This work entails thirst
We could drink till we burst
But we wouldn't live ninety five years


-- Ed Richards (loztra@yahoo.com), April 28, 2003.

Ed! Holy cow! I am thrilled!
What a display of limerick skill
You hit all the rhymes
And even HTML this time
May your next one be mo' better still.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 29, 2003.

It's a bit out of touch with the groove
But jake, what means jake1REMOVE?
The "remove" must entail
A certain travail
The avoidance from which you so move
Because of my posting in this forum, I'm now flooded with every manner of unwanted nonsense and filth from every corner of the known net universe. Stuff I have never invited, if you know what I mean. Can this REMOVE trick help me avoid this in any way? It's funny... some new program they're running out there is trying to guess my name. "Emeralmutilator... try our new pill. Emeraldomueller, great pics! Emerschism, do this, that, whatever." lol. As if. Anyone got any tips on how to get rid of this cacophony of spam I get?

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 29, 2003.

Ooooooops.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 29, 2003.

This thread is something else!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What a great idea Jake!

-- Ed (catholic4444@yahoo.ca), April 29, 2003.

"REMOVE" simply means that you have to take out the "REMOVE" in order to send me mail. Leaving it in there prevents me from having untold numbers of emails sent to me on a daily basis just from posting here. This way, the unwanted mail gets bounced back into the ancient, wounded, and near-death Greenspun server. Better it than me. I don't want to hide behind a fake email, but I don't want the stupid failure notices that say my post couldn't be delivered to catholic_moderator@hotmail.com. Bor do I wish to be a sitting duck for spammers, who harvest email addresses from forums like this all day long. That having been said:


So that is the deal with "REMOVE".
Try it and you will soon prove
So much of that spam
Gets flushed down the can
Whilst preserving your mad posting groove.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 29, 2003.

Emerald, A fake email address I started to use
'Cuz so many emails I had to peruse
From stupid to plain trash
My computer did crash
I figured a fake one could not get abused.
Actually, using REMOVE such as jake has done, will keep you from getting all that trash. In fact I will start using my real email address and put that in there, I think.

-- Isabel (joejoe1REMOVE@msn.com), April 29, 2003.

You know what makes me want to cuss
When the kids get mad at me and fuss
Because their 'right' I denied
Of playing outside
Over something they have been warned about much.

-- Isabel (joejoe1REMOVE@msn.com), April 29, 2003.

On the matter of kids I opine
That I really can't stand when they whine
Don't put up with that crap
Just give 'em a slap
And the rest of the day will be fine.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 29, 2003.

Playing outside... that's, no wait. That's a priviledge? It aint the punishment?

Ha ha ha ho ho ho hee hee hee!
That outside is the place to be
'Cuz where ya'll live
May as well be a fridge
While ours is a nice eighty-three

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 29, 2003.


Though it's not quite as warm as in Haiti
The temperature is pushing 80
Winter sure was a beast
But Spring's warmed the Northeast
It does warm up here, too, me matie.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 29, 2003.

Before you post back heed this note
'bout the barbed-weather wire I wrote
Every soul in the West
Knows our weather is best
Ya'll just mad y'aint in our boat

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 29, 2003.

I'm going to work now before jake bests me because if I wait around he will and he knows it.

Bye! lol.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 29, 2003.


Jake,
The whining I definitely cannot stand.
Privileges lost sometimes work better than my hand,
Because they are advancing in age.
Over lost privileges they rage,
But quickly learn to to obey me is grand.
Emerald,
It is definitely a privilege in my house.
Warm weather turns the inside quiet as a mouse.
Outside they must be,
Usually scraping a knee.
I just break out the peroxide and douse.
I am envious over your eighty-three.
Guess California is the place to be.
Used to live there,
The weather was fair.
But I had to move back to Kentucky.

-- Isabel (joejoe1REMOVE@msn.com), April 29, 2003.

I was unaware, Iz, of that fact
Of the Eastwardly wend of your tact
I truly admire
Your inward desire
For such a penitentiary act

Now I'm late...!

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 29, 2003.


The West Coast's political notions
And sun worshipers' magical potions
Will cause the good Lord
To unsheathe His sword
And plunge all yous inta de ocean.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 29, 2003.

Although my posts here are few and far between,
I often enjoy viewing this scene.
But I can't stand the bickering,
and all of the snickering,
and reading posts that are downright mean.

A conservative Catholic is what I try to be
for being faithful to the Church seems right to me.
So when the Magisterium writes
it should stop all the fights
and get us to be one faithful community!


Thanks Jake for starting this thread. Quite entertaining and very few barbs thrown!

God Bless!

-- Glenn (glenn@nospam.com), April 29, 2003.

To the fake reply I respond

To the one didn't think I could rhyme,

My poetry is just as sublime

like a strong covalent bond

that will last through time.

If you still don't believe me,

I will rhime in Spanish

before someone else banish

my wonderdul dreams que ví

de Yahweh Jesus una noche

que no fue de derroche

y aunque el tiempo pasara

de mi no se olvidara

la visión que no fingí.

-- Elpidio Gonzalez (egonzalez@srla.org), April 29, 2003.


(Warm-up: I really hope these lines come out okay. ‘Cause my HTML skills are as bad as my mom’s driving was yesterday. Kidding..) OK, here goes… Jake, Emerald, Isabel, Ed… I must admit
And I’ve even checked it out a little bit…
To having recently entertained a thought or two
About attending a Tridentine Mass for fun just like you(s)
Of places and times how does one get a list?


Seriously, guys (and girls) y’all make me curious
I hope my Papa (the pope) won’t be so furious
If I just wanna experience the two
To know the difference between the Old and the New
Just wondering; is it really so schizzie and *spurious?


*Spurious: False. Of falsified origin. Of a deceitful nature or quality. Forged.

But what is a clueless guy (about the Old Mass) like me to do?
As is obvious to me (of the Old there are few
And if one can’t follow along because he doesn’t know Latin when He’s there
Will they all stand up and throw me a chair?
These are some concerns I have about the Old but not with the New


-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), April 29, 2003.

Shucks! Almost had it. Top didn't work, but nonetheless came out way better than I thought.

-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), April 29, 2003.

Robert! May God bless your heart!
Just send me an email to start
Include your state / city
I'll send nitty gritty
On where you'll be blessed to take part.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 29, 2003.

121 Limericks ROFL!!!

Stop rhyming! I mean it!!! Will somebody hand me a peanut???

There once was a Catholic named Mike who fished off the dock for a pike When he caught not a thing he started to sing and then preached door to door on a bike.

-- Mike H. (michael.hitzelberger@vscc.cc.tn.us), April 29, 2003.


let me try this again... There once was a Catholic named Mike
who fished off the dock for a pike
When he caught not a thing
he started to sing
and then preached door to door on a bike.


-- Mike H. (michael.hitzelberger@vscc.cc.tn.us), April 29, 2003.

Robert:

Don't fear you won't understand.
I've a video tape close at hand
Just ask me, I'll send it!
Just query, I'll lend it!
Your first look & you'll think it grand.


If you mail me, be careful. Here's why:
Don't forget "REMOVE" to reply.
And please dont forget
jake1@pngusa.net
It's not hard to do if you try.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 29, 2003.

If your lucky to find an old Mass
You'll really have something with class,br> No clowns doing funnies
No ventriloquist dummies
Just worshipping God as in past


-- Ed Richards (loztra@yahoo.com), April 29, 2003.

God will bless you Robert, for seeking.
He will keep you in his safe keeping.
Just accept His grace,
Find a nice place,
For this beautiful Mass you'll be weeping.

Jake and Regina will take good care of you. They've got it covered.

-- Isabel (isabel@yahoo.com), April 29, 2003.

Best let him know of the flip side...
So he starts now to strengthen his hide
He'll be labelled in schism
Needing excorcism
For wanting in truth to abide

but...

Take courage my friend, have no fear
For the Vatican itself's made it clear
To attend the Old Mass
Will not forfeit your ---
And the schisdismal argument's queer

Show him the link, jake. How from the Vatican itself, that one can find and attend the old rite without incurring this bogus threat schism and excommunication.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 29, 2003.


"...and then preached door to door on a bike."

Mike... you're Mormon? Just kidding. Cup of coffee? *slap*

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 29, 2003.


Robert, please don't be a fool
Just use the following tool.
It lists Masses true to the Church
and won't leave you in the lurch,
Unlike those from the old school.


I don't believe I am mistaken,
and those trads are not forsaken,
but their Masses are invalid
the only rhyme is salad,
I just don't want your faith to be shaken.

Seriously Robert, there are valid Tridentine masses offered that are still in complete union with the Catholic Church. I hope the following link is of valid masses. It is not the one I originally was looking for.

http://www.latinliturgy.com/latin_mass_info_asp.html

-- Glenn (Glenn@nospam.com), April 29, 2003.

I looked over the site that I gave you,
and noticed a thing or two,
I searched for the Church that is invalid near me,
and noticed quite happily,
that this site must have told them to shoo!

Sorry, that was a weak one, but I am 6 hours from my wake up call so I NEED to get to bed!

-- Glenn (Glenn@nospam.com), April 29, 2003.

By the most deviant of standards you fail
To allude I'm in spiritual tarvail
To add water to beer
Will not make Everclear
Mine's licit and valid as hay-ell.

The bishop's approved mine. Not that it matters, but, it does matter to you, since you care. Based on what reasoning, I know not. =)

-- (emerald1@cox.net), April 29, 2003.


Emerald, thanks for your advice. I'm already being warned of losing my Catholic faith (which I think is rock solid). Emerald, I think you're a swell person and enjoy your posts (as well as Isabel, Jake. and Ed, of course) very much. Sheesh, are you really labeled "schismatic"/ outcast/Protestant just because you attend a Bishop approved Trid Mass??! Nah, can't be. If that's the case, I think it must be a tough cross for you to bear (ah, that one rhymed)!

Jake thank you, I will email you.

(By the way, all of you are master Limerick poets, in my view.)

-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), April 29, 2003.


Glenn, thanks for your warning. I really appreciate it. But trust me. I will absolutely make sure that I NEVER EVER do anything against the authority of the pope and/or the teachings of our Holy Mother Church. Never. I love it too much. But how can simply attending an older version of the Mass (which might even have been the way the great saints of the past worshipped) go against the pope? I don't see this.

-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), April 29, 2003.

Don't kill me for this, my friend jake
I hope not a blunder I make
A short trip on a plane
To some kinfolk in Maine
He made me an offer to take

To attend at his Latin Rite Mass
But look, I said, I will pass
'cause I'm still not so sure
'cause it's somewhat unclear
Though I hope I don't sound much too crass

The chance for us all that we met
Was bound to result in defeat
For the way things went
Went as they were meant
With no contact with journey's complete

In the time between now and back then
Some research and some study I've done
That in full point of fact
Despite Nuvo's detract
That I would have committed no sin

So if I had a secondtime chance
To take up on jake's good advance
I would certainly do it
There's not so much to it
Without dropping my communal pants


-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 29, 2003.


Oh... and if it is true that attending a Tridentine Mass is really against the authority of the pope and Our Church, I won't dare to go. Can anyone prove that its wrong? If it is, as I said, I will gladly submit to the authority of the Vicar of Christ and not dare set foot at a Trid Mass. Simple as that.

-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), April 29, 2003.

If it worries you, go to an indult Mass... simple.

Until that's gone, at least.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 29, 2003.


Glenn, please do check out your facts.
The Old Rite no validity lacks
Even without "permission"
Rome says that Tradition
Still gets you a good, valid Mass

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 29, 2003.

Emerald, forgive my ignorance but what's an indult Mass?

-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), April 29, 2003.

Emerald I thought you said Mike...you Moron, just kidding lol,
I have never been Mormon
However, I lived with a Mormon
neither were morons
we watched shows about gluons
from comfortable futons
of not much else we concurred on.
(keep your pants on, communal or otherwise...please :-)


-- Mike H. (michael.hitzelberger@vscc.cc.tn.us), April 29, 2003.

Emerald, my friend, it's OK
I doubted in past bygone days
That I could do right
By agreeing to fight
Incur wrath and adopt the old ways

I'd a feeling that you might resist
A Tridentine Latin Rite "tryst"
There was really no pressure
I just had to guess you're
Not ready to be on a blacklist

I still wouldda bought ya some grub
Would have loved to have met all your cubs
There's really no finer
Than a New Jersey Diner
For BLT's or turkey clubs

Next time when you come, we'll go
We'll pray for the forum, you know?
It sure couldn't hurt 'em
It just might convert 'em!
Benedicamus Domino!

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 30, 2003.

Oh sorry, bud. Indult Mass... it means, basically, that the local Bishop has approved it, allows it, even encourages it.

The bishops are asked to do so, believe it or not, at the request and desire of Pope John Paul II.

I'm lucky here; the bishop has not only provided for it, but even seems delighted by it. He showed up himself. But many (most?) other places, the Holy Father's requests have gone unheeded.

So, in my position here, I'm double-plus good non-schismatic, at least under standards, that is, liken-able to pre-New Testament Jewish law so to speak. If you know what I mean.

But jake is not a schismatic.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 30, 2003.


lol Mike!

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 30, 2003.

Well Emerald thanks, "Encouraged by the Bishop". "Approved by local Bishop and even seems delighted by it". That sounds more than okay. That sounds great. Where's the schism here??! I don't see a problem here. Jake, we gotta talk. I'll email you.

-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), April 30, 2003.

But make no mistake, jake you knew That most heinous thing we went through We landed and puked and we puked and we puked and we puked and we puked and we puked.

Whatever it was we got, it was straight from Satan's medicine cabinet.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 30, 2003.


ooops; I didn't format that. But I'm not going to fix it; because whatever illness we got, it didn't come out formatted either... lol; so there's some artistic analogy going on there.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 30, 2003.

I admit to you Robert, these Q's
are as hard to accept as refuse
They've caused me much toil
Brang my bloid to a boil
But nothing can counter The Muse

A couple of things to remember
That I question my Faith no more ever
That the Pope is true Pope
And our True Faith our hope
Despite demon's devices so clever

If everything else fails do this:
It'll keep you from going amiss
Vow the death of yourself
Unto spirtual health
And forego every earthly-bound bliss


-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 30, 2003.


Amen to that Emerald! Got to go, I started writing my email to Jake!

-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), April 30, 2003.

Much to the Nuvos' travail
With Robert I'm exchanging mail
With God's grace, my brother
You'll give them another
Innocent soul to assail!

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 30, 2003.

I've just hopped onto this thread in great haste. The limericks I'll copy and paste. When I have some more time, I will read every rhyme. To miss these would be such a waste!

-- Anna <>< (flower@youknow.com), April 30, 2003.

Jake, when you check your email.
Please don’t think to throw me in jail…
‘Cause my spelling mistakes were real bad indeed
But hey I was tired, typed fast, and forgot to proofread
Next time, my friend, I’ll try not to fail.

Thanks again!

-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), April 30, 2003.

Don't worry about grammar with me
And typos? Big deal. Cest la vie.
Bringing souls to Tradition
Is much nobler a mission
Than dotting i's and crossing t's.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 30, 2003.

Please understand, no bows I take
The Spirit moves souls, not poor jake
Let your soul be host
to the great Holy Ghost
And He will not ever forsake.

Please teach me, Lord, not to seek credit
For pride will creep in if I let it
Make me be truly wise
And love being despised
Without humility I better forget it.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), April 30, 2003.

I think jake wanted to share,
With my dog his good fare.
I'm sure it was chili.
Giving me the willies.
It's almost more than I can bear.

-- Isabel (isabel@yahoo.com), April 30, 2003.

You lover of only the letter
Foresaken doctrinal bed-wetter
You'd better get straight
Before it's too late
And accept, uh, hmmm... yeah, well... whatever.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), April 30, 2003.

Emerald, I’ve a question for you --)
About the Divine Mercy Chaplet I do
You said in another thread
That the words Jesus once said
Were changed in the name of Vat II
So I checked the words I’ve been using
For this fine ol’ Novena we’ve been doin’*
And by jove you were right. I can see !!
It does say, “For those who do not know me”!”
No “Pagan” here. The original am I losing?
*especially requested by our Lord to be begun on Good Friday, nine days before the Feast of Divine Mercy.

Hence the question I put forth to you now
is there any way I can get a hold of the one you'r using somehow?


-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), April 30, 2003.

Ouch, that formatted badly! There are supposed to be a few spaces in there somewhere.

-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), April 30, 2003.

In the version you've prob'ly been using
Where they nixed the old words of Christ's choosing
Is an asterisk there?
With a short explainaire?
They at least let you know what your losing!

On the net, you can find an abundance of either one, but that being said, the ones with the changed wording in most cases (not all) at least have an explanation giving the original wording in the footnotes.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), May 01, 2003.


Thanks Emerald.

-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), May 01, 2003.

This limey bug’s getting to me head
I’m even composing in bed!
O will there ever be a day
When hatred be so cast away
And all have this much fun instead?


-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), May 01, 2003.

Isabel's still in the mood
To speak of reactions to food?
Chii's nothing, my dear
Feed me hot dogs and beer
And I'll be a right dangerous dude.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), May 01, 2003.

I said invalid instead of illicit,
but my warning is still implicit,
I don't think it is crass,
to say Robert needs to find a Mass
that is both valid and licit.

If Jake is emailing a letter
I would certainly feel better
If he would include in what he wrote
stating which are illicit in a note
so Robert's salvation he would not fetter.


-- Glenn (glenn@nospam.com), May 01, 2003.

With your blind accusation diminished
The argument really is finished
The extent of your gall
Don't surprise me at all
And my e-mail is none of your business

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), May 01, 2003.

I really tried to refrain
but with your attitude it was in vain
you cause others to leave the Church
so to yourself you do smirch
reminds me of a brother named Cain.

To Robert I'll try one more time
without being very sublime
there are traditional Masses that are still true
and won't cause you harm or to be blue
just look at the link I provided (it won't cost you a dime).


-- Glenn (glenn@nospam.com), May 01, 2003.

Another outright, boldfaced lie
"Out of the Church!" is your cry
How dare you alarm
That I mean to do harm?
Sick of Nuvos? Well, no wonder why.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), May 01, 2003.

Glenn,

Salvation I assure you is of primary concern
But attend a Trid Mass and "in hell all will burn???"
Oh no my good man I know quite a different story
About what one must do to reap everlasting glory
Yes, "renounce thyself daily" is the real thing I must learn.


-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), May 01, 2003.

By the way, Glenn I have looked at the link you provided. Thanks.

-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), May 01, 2003.

I'll tell you my man it's a tough thing to do
An inexplicably painful event to go through
When you think that you've learned it
You've just barely discerned it
And you'll find you've got barely a clue

It's a journey of a million miles.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), May 01, 2003.


Self renunciation, that is.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), May 01, 2003.

Robert,

Thank you. My only goal was to be sure you realized there were valid and licit choices. Hopefully one of those Masses listed at that site is near you.

Jake,

I really don't want to debate you on this. One of the reasons I rarely post here anymore is that all the threads seem to end up in the same argument (Traditional versus the new Mass). Such a waste and not likely to win over any person thinking of converting to Catholicism. After all, if they see this much in fighting among those who call themselves Catholic, why would they pursue any further investigation?

I'll go back to my spectator role and let you and Frank debate in the other thread. Sorry not to create limericks for this last post, but I am on lunch break and they take me a while to do. Once again, thanks for this thread. I truly enjoyed reading and participating.

God Bless.

-- Glenn (glenn@nospam.com), May 01, 2003.


More people must step up to bear
The Cross that their Saviour doth share
Hair shirts ain't in style
But without self-denial
We'll have no wedding garments to wear

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), May 01, 2003.

Ooooh, those last two limericks were good guys! (Very spiritually edifying, indeed.)

Fight the good fight with good cheer
Not long will your labor be here
There will come a day
When youth will pass us away
But don’t fret ‘cuz your reward* ‘ll be near.




* “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived, What God hath prepared for those who love Him." [1 Corinthians 2:9].

-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), May 01, 2003.

Robert; Saint Faustina's thoughts along those lines:

"One day, I saw two roads. One was broad, covered with sand and flowers, full of joy, music and all sorts of pleasures. People walked along it, dancing and enjoying themselves. They reached the end without realising it. And at the end of the raods there was a horrible precipice; that is the abyss of hell. The souls fell blindly into it; as they walked, so they fell. And their number was so great that it was impossible to count them. And I saw the other road, or rather, a path, for it was narrow and strewn with thorns and rocks; and the people who walked along it had tears in their eyes, and all kinds of suffering befell them. Some fell down upon the rocks, but stood up immediately and went on. At the end of the road there was a magnificent garden filled with all sorts of happiness, and all these souls entered there. At the very first instant they forgot all their sufferings."

Someone get me back into limerick mode... lol!

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), May 01, 2003.


You can stay out of limerick mode as long as you post things like that! It always helps me to read things like that. Reminds me of what I'm supposed to be doing. I often forget. I am sure I don't practice enough self-denial.

-- Isabel (joejoe1REMOVE@msn.com), May 01, 2003.

What about borrowing a sort of limerick that's already out there, from the camp of the Dark Lord? Just to tweak the contrast knob to full level... Yes there are two paths you can go by
but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on
Your head is humming and it won't go because you don't know
The piper's calling you to join him

Gives you the creeps.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), May 01, 2003.


There will come a day When youth will pass us away

Hum-alee-bay-balee-boo-balee-bebalee-humma-lee-balalee-zibbilee-bop

IIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii......ain't got nobody...........

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), May 01, 2003.


Begging pardon of St. Louis DeMonfort, and of you, venerable bretheren, for the copy & paste job:

"Seest Thou, Lord, God of battles, seest Thou the captains who are forming full battalions, the potentates who are assembling whole fleets, the merchants gathering in large numbers at the markets and the fairs? Crowds of robbers, drunkards, libertines, impious men are uniting against Thee every day - and so easily and promptly. The sound of a whistle, the beat of a drum, the sight of a blunt sword- tip, the promise of a withered laurel wreath, the offer of a bit of gold or silver; in a word, a breath of fame and earthly interest, a vile pleasure for which they long can, in a moment, unite robbers as one, call forward soldiers, assemble battalions, bring together merchants, fill houses and market places and cover the earth and the sea with an innumerable multitude of the reprobate, who, although divided among themselves by the places whence they come, by the differences in their dispositions or by their personal interests, are nevertheless united as one man, until death, to fight against Thee under the banner and the leadership of the demon.

And we, great God! Although there is so much glory and profit, so much sweetness and so many advantages to be gained by serving Thee, shall there be so few to take up Thy cause? Hardly any soldiers under Thy banner! Nary a St. Michael to proclaim among Thy brethren in zeal for Thy glory: Who is like unto God?

Ah, let me cry out everywhere: Fire! Fire! Fire! Help! Help! Help! Fire even within the sanctuary! Help for our brother who is being murdered! Help for our children whose throats are being cut! Help for our Father Who is being stabbed!

If any man be on the Lord’s side, let him join with me (Ex. 32:26).

Let all good priests who are spread over the Christianworld, and those who are actually on the battlefield and those who have withdrawn from the combat to bury themselves in deserts and solitude, let them all come forward and unite with us — in unity there is strength — so that we may form, under the banner of the Cross, a well- regulated army in battle array, and together attack the enemies of God who have already sounded the alarm. They have shouted; they have raged; they have swelled their ranks. Let us break their bonds asunder; let us cast away their yoke from us. He that dwelleth in heaven shall laugh at them (Ps. 2:3-4). Let the Lord arise, and let His enemies be dispersed.

Arise, O Lord, why sleepest Thou? Arise: Arise, O Lord, why feignest Thou to sleep? Arise in Thy might, Thy mercy, and Thy justice, to form Thyself a chosen bodyguard to keep Thy house, to defend Thy glory, and to save the souls bought at the price of Thy Precious Blood, so that there may be but one fold and one shepherd, and that all may glorify Thee in Thy holy temple: And in His temple all shall proclaim His glory. Amen.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), May 01, 2003.


Jake -- Funny, that David Lee Roth song was in my head the whole time I wrote that limerick.

St. Louis De Montfort's writings are so good. Heck, they almost border on divine inspiration in my view. That saint is probably more responsible for my devotion to Mary than anyone else.

-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), May 02, 2003.


Since we're all out of the limerick mode, I've one for you to:<


"What is life compared to that day which will have no ending for the elect, or to that night which will have no dawning for the damned? On earth people attach themselves to everything and to everyone except to Him who alone ought to have our love, and to Whom we refuse it."

"Jesus in the Tabernacle waits for souls to love Him, and He finds none! Hardly one soul in a thousand loves Him as it should. Love Him and make up for the guilty indifference which exists in the world."


- "Unpublished Manuscript on Purgatory"

-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), May 02, 2003.

Emerald, that St. Faustina passage was a real gem! Thanks.


Hmmmm... My HTML skills seem to be improving each day. Now how do you create a real link? Or outline in bold? Or underline? That's all still a mystery (like the Blessed Trinity) to me.

-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), May 02, 2003.

Ask jake what happened last time someone gave me the HTML ring of power...

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), May 02, 2003.

What happened Jake?

-- Robert (Robertp234@hotmail.com), May 02, 2003.

Here's what happened, Robert.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), May 02, 2003.

To do bold:

[b]Example[/b]

But, change the [ and ] to < and >

and you will get this:

Example

For italics, use an i instead of a b.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), May 02, 2003.


Robert,

A good way to learn the html is to use the "view->source" if you are using Microsoft Internet Explorer. If you are viewing a page that has some html formatting that you would like to copy, do a view source and locate the code.

For your question about how to include a link, I'll take a stab at it. Again using [] for <>,

[a href="http://www.whatever.com"] Name of page [/a]

Have fun!

-- Glenn (glenn@nospam.com), May 02, 2003.


Links:

[a href="http://www.thesitethatyouwanttolinkto.com"]link [/a]

replacing, of course [ & ] with < & >

Example:

[a href="http://www.sspx.org"] SSPX [/a]

becomes

SSPX.

For practice, there's a Greenspun board called "HTML playground." You can go to town and not worry about annoying anyone.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), May 02, 2003.


Emerald, lol!!

Glen and Jake, those HTML lessons were very much appreciated. Now, let me test out my new-found powers…

This has been a spiritually edifying link for me

Rosary meditations

Those were some nice virtues/spiritual fruits one can meditate on while reciting the 15 decades of the Rosary.

Sacred Heart prayers

I like saying (if I can) the second prayer on this page (it takes only five minutes) at 3:00pm in the afternoon, the hour of great mercy. Something to think about, especially today, since its the first Friday.



-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), May 02, 2003.

Hey, what I do wrong? Why didn't the last two work? Where did I make the mistake?

-- Robert (Robertp234@hotmail.com), May 02, 2003.

OK, let me try this one more time…

Sacred Heart Devotions and Rosary Meditations


-- Robert (robertp234@hotmail.com), May 02, 2003.

Robert, congrats. A success!
But this point on you now I impress:
This thread was MY gimmick
Get back to those limericks
Enough of this prose-covered mess

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), May 03, 2003.

bump bumpity bumpity bumpity,
bump bumpity bumpity bump.
bump bumpity bump
bump bumpity bump
bump bumpity bumpity bump.

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), July 11, 2003.

A deaf man got a hearing aid free, Phoned friend Gene "It's the best it could be." Gene said when we dine Tell me the kind Deaf guy said,"bouta quarter past three."

-- John C Williams (trader@hottrader.com), April 28, 2004.

Once he was a Catholic, we learned But to be closer to Yahweh he yearned From his posts it sure seems That he has lots of dreams In mydream, to the Church he's returned.

-- Brian Crane (brian.crane@cranemills.com), April 28, 2004.

That someone who believes not in God, Would hang out in this forum seems odd, Yet Laurent stays here, With his Salut & Cheer, Is his atheism just a facade? ;)

-- Brian Crane (brian.crane@cranemills.com), April 28, 2004.

Anti-Bush was banned from the the list, The rules of the forum he dissed, But he swore that he'd tone down his act So Ed let him back, its a fact, Now the whole thing has made John G....mad

-- Brian Crane (brian.crane@cranemills.com), April 28, 2004.

One day God came to the Earth,
By a virgin indeed was His birth,
In the town Bethlehem,
Witnessed by some wise men,
And their hearts were all filled with mirth.

Thirty years on we can see,
He began his great ministry,
That each man within,
Has the problem of sin,
And the only solution is he.

Jesus said to Simon, "Thou art Peter,"
He replied,"Does that make me much l337er ?"
"Like a churchly darth-vader
with a big red light sabre,
whenever I sit on Moses' 1-seater ?"

Jesus raised a suspecting eyebrow,
and asked,"Why do you ask this now ?
Have you really not heard,
A single little word,
Yet consider that men to you bow ?

Peter looked quite enticed,
and said "But your words Lord sufficed,
to say I'm a pope, it is I who gives hope,
For I am the vicar of Christ."

Jesus said "Peter, you're quite mistaken,
I wish that your mind would awaken,
I tell you one day,
even you will say,
All believers are stones in the makin'"

Jesus then went to conclusion,
And prayed against man's illusion
To be someone great,
whom others venerate,
And be swept by tradition and confusion.

Now we all now that Peter didn't say
Such words as these lines portray
But it illustrates a point
That those God does anoint
Do not detract from Christ as the only way.

Peter was never given to be head
The scripture itself has not said
Anyone but our Lord Jesus
And to be given the Keys is
Not to be an infallible head


-- sceptic (sceptic@email.com), April 28, 2004.


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