I went for a physical last week (first time in four and a half years...I know, I know...LOL). I'd been having utterly unbearable pain in my breasts. I was scared to death, as I'm sure any female here can imagine. But the doctor did the exam and after talking for a good while, he and I both finally determined what I'd suspected. It was hormonal. Fibrocystic tissue that is aggravated by ovulation and only going to get worse as I get older. The cure? Stop ovulation with birth control. So, I'm on the Depo Provera shot (progesterone) now. He also thinks this will help with the PMDD I suffer every month. Gotta love bein a chick, eh? My Ob/Gyn told me four years ago, after the birth of our last child, that I was not to have anymore, as I physically and mentally could not bear it. As the regulars here remember, I did get pregnant again, two years later and lost that child. I've not gotten pregnant since. Anyways, during the physical last week, the doctor looked a bit disturbed and said hm. I said what? what is hm? you're not supposed to say hm. what does THAT mean??? He told me my uterus was rather large. We talked about pregnancy and female/family history. I've long suffered from abdominal pain but thought it was just from having three c-sections. Well, he said that in his opinion, from what he could feel..he said I have a fibroid tumor in my uterus. I go for an ultrasound on May 8th after work. If this is what is there, then I'll have to have my uterus removed. I've been terribly upset over this because what if, even though I know I'm not supposed to, I wanted to have another? I wanted to give my husband a son so badly. Yes, I gave him our daugher but....And my fear is that even though I'll be able to pay for the ultrasound, with no insurance, how the heck am I going to pay for a uterus removal?!?! *sigh* I honestly can't help but wonder, though, if this caused my last miscarriage? And if that's the case, me having more is kind of a moot point anyways.

So, that's it. If you could say a little prayer for me, I would really appreciate it. Right now, I'm scared to death and just trying to trust in God that everything will be alright. Whichever way it goes. And yes, I've been counting my blessings. I've been blessed with three beautiful, healthy children. Lots of people don't even get *one* so, I'm very thankful for what I do have. Anyways, thanks so much for listening and for any prayers you can spare.

Take care and God bless each of you~

PS~Could you also maybe pray for my oldest two kiddos? Especially the middle child? They (pray to God) make First Communion this weekend. Long story but the short end of it is that they've not brought notes home from class and missed out on some of the essentials of learning (ie~retreat, practice, etc) because mom and dad didn't know about it. And the middle child is just not getting the whole Eucharist thing. She's always been a bit...um, not so quick to learn, if you will. She's more mechanically inclined and not book smart and our son is more book smart and not so mechanically inclined. He totally gets it so, I don't think he's going to have a problem getting up to speed in time but she on the other hand....needs LOTS of prayers from you good people. :) Thanks so much!

-- Jackiea (sorry@dontlikespam.com), May 06, 2003

Answers

to the top, please

-- Jackiea (ditto@ditto.com), May 06, 2003.

Hey Jackiea nice to hear from you!

There is something as "too much detail" though! Clearly the body and more so the mind of women is not something I understand very much about..the mere word uterus and I was thinking "enough already"! Im a big girls blouse eh! Seriously though we have a free public health system in which we all take great pride in and ownership of in this part of the world.The concept of private health insurance is appalling to me for exactly the dreadful situation you find yourself in.

Anyway better not go down that track other than to say sorry to hear of your difficulties and my thoughts are with you and Im hope it all works out just the way you hope.Im sure your children will fly through their first holy communion....if theyre anything like their mother ;-).

God Bless

-- Kiwi (csisherwood@hotmail.com), May 06, 2003.

Yes, I know, Kiwi. I thought that as I typed it but to explain it all...well, I've always been rather frank. :)

It's funny you mention the health system. My husband and I were just talking about that in Australia the other day. I can't imagine what that would be like. Only to know it would be lovely.

Thanks for the good thoughts, Kiwi. You take care and God bless you~

-- Jackiea (sorry@dontlikespam.com), May 06, 2003.

Hi Jackiea,

I know that this not something to take lightly, and especially without health insurance, but I highly recommend you getting a "second opinion."

I once had a doctor (a female Catholic, non-the-less) be rather insistent with me that I get sterilized. She foretold many bad things that would happen to me, as I had already had seven children and was expecting my eighth.

Rather than placing all my trust in the doc, I expressed to her the great gift from God which is my fertility, and that I had no desire to cut myself off from that gift.

I sought out another doctor. This one also was a woman. She has assisted me in delivering that eighth child, plus four more! She never recommends artificial contraception to me, as she knows and respects my beliefs. Have you read up on Depo Provera? This is a serious drug to be taking. As it acts as a contraceptive, there are other concerns as well. I do remember this drug beging "taken off the market" for awhile.

My younger sister suffered from uterine fibroids also. She is fortunate to have two adopted children. She ultimately did have to have a complete hysterectomy. Stay away from ALL caffeine; the tumors feed on it. I'll try to get some more information on it for you.

If you are income-eligible, there may be other helps in the way of health insurance. I can think of a few, but of course, I don't know where you live, and most are offered regionally. (And I don't expect you to divulge your location on a public forum.)

I will pray for you!

Now, on to your children: They've already received their first penance, right? This is essential, as you well know.

I, too, had one child (who isn't very book smart) who said to me one day prior to his first holy communion, "But Mom, is it really the 'Body' of Christ?" This is a hard thing to grasp, but for a kid who isn't book smart, this shows the real depth of his thinking! He was really trying to think it all through, so that he wasn't just "going through the motions," but so that he could actually "believe" in what he received!

I promptly answered, "Oh, yes It is! Let me show you!" I ran to my bookshelf and got my copy of Joan Carroll Cruz's "Eucharistic Miracles." (published by Tan publishers, www.tanbooks.com) I opened the pages and showed him the many incidents in history where Jesus revealed His True Presence, which is usually "hidden" in the Eucharist.

This book is filled with actual photographs, and brief historical accounts of bona fide, Church approved, miracles of the Most Holy Eucharist.

The most awesome one is the Miracle of Lanciano. You can do an internet search, and show this miracle to your child.

It is very impressive. Both you and your child will be amazed at the photos, and the historical and scientific evidence that all points to the Eucharist being "truly human flesh and blood!"

Jesus Christ truly did, at the Last Supper, leave us His Body and His Blood to eat and drink. We don't taste flesh, nor blood, but the sweetness of consecrated Bread and Wine, yet we know that "truly, this is the Body and Blood of the Lord!" .

May God be with you and your children.

Pax Christi. <><

-- Anna <>< (flower@dontlikespameither.com), May 06, 2003.

What the? Italics off.

-- Anna <>< (flower@youknow.com), May 06, 2003.

Thank you for your concern, Anna. And congrats on your new grandbaby. :)

Actually, that WAS my second opinion. But it all turned out ok. Yes, I do have a cyst and yes, I do have a tumor but both are non carcinogenic (benign) and are of no danger to me. Physical discomfort from time to time, yes, but no real danger. So, I stay intact. LOL

Thanks again and God bless~

-- Jackiea (sorry@dontlikespam.com), May 11, 2003.