anulment possiblility..my husband "came out of the closet" and we are separated at this time.greenspun.com : LUSENET : Catholic : One Thread |
I have been married for 33 yrs...a few months ago, my husband told me he is bi-sexual..30% homosexual is how he explained it and wanted me to help him ¨check out¨women and men to celebrate his sexuality...turns out he was molested my a priest at age 11. I am living in Mexico now to get away and think things over..my Bishop Gregory Aymond of Austin supports my decision to get away for a separation. My husband knew of his sexual orientation when we married in the Church. Do I have grounds to seek an annulment? i am really hurt and confused and need sound advice. Rosa
-- Rose A. Harper (rosanjesus@hotmail.com), May 19, 2003
Rose,Based on the little you've shared you may have grounds for successfully seeking an annulment. I'd contact the Tribunal of your diocese and talk to someone there.
-- Fr. Michael Skrocki, JCL (abounamike@aol.com), May 19, 2003.
rose,i generally dont answer annulment questions because i think too many people come here looking for annulments as a solution to bad decisions... but yours is quite different in nature.
yes, you have strong grounds for annulment. without telling you of his sexual orientation, or his desire to be sexual active with others outside of the marraige (adultery) his vows in effect were a lie. based on that you can get annuled and i hope you find someone who is more honest with you.
-- paul (dontsendmemail@notanaddress.com), May 19, 2003.
It actually depends on if it was his desire *at the time of the marriage* to be unfaithful. Even if he was aware of his sexuality, if he had planned on being faithful there really isn't a case. HOWEVER, if he didn't tell you of his sexuality (in effect lying to you) *that* would be grounds (in my very limited understanding of these things).
-- OperaDiva (solosoprano@juno.com), May 19, 2003.
Sexual orientation is an open issue, while practice is not. I have misgivings about annulments based upon sexual orientation because sexual orientation is subject to change. It is a matter of the will just as love is a matter of the will.I believe it is possible for a person in the midst of a sexual orientation towards the same sex to, in fact, enter a covenanted relationship with a person of the opposite sex. It is a matter of choice, just as fidelity and infidelity. There may be degrees of attraction that may make the choice more difficult but a choice is a choice. What must be discerned is if the choice was free. Not perfect, just a valid choice.
If the Church is bases its annulments upon orientation rather than choice, I would argue that it is clearly wrong. I do not know the criteria for an annulment based upon homosexuality.
I admire chaste homomsexuals, their fortitude gives me strength. God bless them. They have much akin to abandoned spouses and I am sure God holds a special love for the choices each makes toward fidelity (abandoned spouses and chaste homosexuals).
Karl
-- Karl (Parkerkajwen@hotmail.com), May 20, 2003.
MAY GOD BE WITH YOU IN YOUR TIME OF NEED..
-- STAYCE EVONNE STEPHENS (JUKEEA@.AOL.COM), June 02, 2003.
If the Church is bases its annulments upon orientation rather than choicei agree completely, but there are two statements that lead me to believe that she could get an annulment. first, he knew about his orientation prior to marraige and did not tell her about it. in this way her vow could be considered invalid because she was uninformed of the true intentions of her future spouse.
this would not necessarily be enough to consider annulment except for the second point. he wants her to help him find a partner in which to engage in adultery. not only does he wish to commit sin, he is trying to bring this poor soul into it as well. this is obviously not just an orientation, it is a practice, which is bringing her down as well.
-- paul (dontsendmemail@notanaddress.com), June 02, 2003.