I have been married 3 times now, something I am not proud of but there are somethings that you can't change. The first was when I was pregnant at 17 yrs old. I was not married in the church. The second marriage was in the Catholic Church. My next husband was an alcoholic, this ended our marriage. I later meet another man whom I feel in love with which I decided to move in with to save some money. As years went by I have matured in my faith as a Catholic. I did a lot of studying on the faith. I realized all these years I was only physically a Catholic and never understood the real meaning of faith. At this point, here I was, 2 failed marriages and I was living with another man. Not too good in the eyes of God! Still very nieve and uneducated according to the Church, I decided the first thing I needed to do was get married to this man I was living with. So that's what I did but at the J.P. not the Church as my last Marriage was not annuled. Still learning and growing in my faith I realized I did nothing in the eyes of the Catholic Church, I was still living in sin. So I decided at this point, what I needed to do was to begin the annulment process. This process took a very long time. However finally I was granted the annulment, only to findout that I could not be remarried in the Church with out the permission of the Tribunal. At this point I cantacted the tribunal and we set up an appointment for myself and my husband to come in for an interview. Prior to the interview they sent both of us a questionnaire. I filled out this questionnaire as truthfully as possible, I left nothing out. What would be the point in lying, that would only nullify everything in Gods eyes. Right? So the time came for the interview. At this time the councelor advised us that he will not advise the tribunal to grant permission for marriage. He told us to go to marriage counseling and come back in 6 months. So thats what we did. However nothing has changed and I have nothing new to tell the tribunal. So my question is what do I do now? Do I leave my 3rd husband or do I leave the Catholic Church? I explained to the tribunal councelor that I am very concerned in the fact according to the Catholic Church that my husband and myself are living in sin. He said "well that depends on who your talking to". (statements like this give the Catholic Church a poor reputation)I then went to the pastor of the church and discussed that matter with him. He advised me that if I walked out the door right now and was hit by lightning I would not go to hell.(Thank Goodness!) I then went to Father Kelly for a confession, I confessed that I was married out side of the church, Father Kelly would not give me absolution. He advised my that my husband and I need to live only as brother and sister.(my husband loved this one.) So the next week or so I go to Father Ben for confession, I confessed as before and no questions asked, he gives me absolution.

Please help me, I am so confused and this is really having an effect on my faith.

Thank you in advance for any help you can offer me, Donna Tori.

-- Donna (donnatori42@hotmail.com), May 21, 2003

Answers

Donna,

I would recommend that you make it your priority to do whatever is required so that you can be married in the Church as soon as possible. It wasn't clear to me if you had already gone back to the tribunal for the six month review yet; if nothing has changed, i.e., you haven't split up, that may be seen as a very good thing. Do you know if you have a monitum or a vetitum? See for details.

-- Mark (aujus_1066@yahoo.com), May 21, 2003.

Whoops, I left out the URL:

http://www.dwc.org/questions/Annulments/warning.htm

Also, work with the tribunal councelor to understand exactly what kind of reservations the tribunal has about your readiness to enter into a sacramental marriage. Good luck!

-- Mark (aujus_1066@yahoo.com), May 21, 2003.

mark has the right idea, go back to the tribunal...

this may have been their way of seeing that you arent going to do a repeat divorce. as such they may grant your wishes. get remarried in the church and then go to confession for absolution. then you will be fully back in the church.

May God guard you as you walk in His path.

-- paul (dontsendmemail@notanaddress.com), May 21, 2003.