I am a deeply troubled person...iam 24 yrs old and dont know what to aboutthis plz help me..my sister (cousin)is 19 yrs old and i led her into having sex with me since last 4yrs...earlier it was with her consent (if i can call it that...)but later (for last 1 yr) she finds it really wrong and i do too...but somehow i am unable to stop it..i know what this sounds like but it really hurts me and is driving me insane plz help me ...i love her(i hope so..it hurts coz if i really lov her then why do i do this) i was abused by my cousin brother in childhood..if it has anybearing on this...i tell her to stop me but she says she cant..i need to stop myself..i know it is wrong but somehow i cannot stop...i masterbate thinking about her...it is really eating me alive plz help

-- Anonymous, June 04, 2003

Answers

If you're looking for a quick fix to your "problem", then I doubt that you'll find it here or anywhere else. If you really can't stop yourself no matter how much you want to, then it sounds like you need more than advice from a stranger.

It's encouraging that you're able to recognize this behavior as troubling, but if it's been going on for the past 4 years, then it's going to take some serious work on your part to put a stop to it. You say that both you and her find it really wrong, and that you tell her to simply stop you from doing it when things start up. I'm sorry, but trying to solve this problem by putting the responsibility on her to stop you doesn't sound like a good plan at all. Not only are you not taking responsibility for your own actions, but you are then able to put the blame on the victem by saying, "well I told her to stop me".

Masterbating is ok and should be able to hold you over during initial periods of withdrawal, but you're going to have to find some outside help to get you through those periods where you can't seem to control yourself. Incest is a pretty serious thing and you should trust your gut and get help so neither you nor your sister/cousin will have to be traumatized by it any longer.

Good luck.

-- Anonymous, June 16, 2003