Good Evening, I have a question for one of the Catholics on here regarding a topic that's come up on another board. First off I'm not Catholic so anything I know is 'second hand'. There's a woman who claims to be Catholic but says that she & her husband only had a civil ceremony and after 14 yrs are still waiting to have the 'big church wedding'. Now some of the Catholics on the board are saying that she's not supposed to receive communion and that in the eyes of the Church her children are illegitemate. She claims it's OK to receive communion & that the only part of the whole thing they haven't done is have their marriage blessed by having the actual Catholic wedding and she wants to wait to have the big fairy tale wedding. I'm confused and don't know if she's correct or if the others who claim to be Catholic are correct. If she's correct what is the purpose of having a Catholic ceremony since she's been taking communion & claims her 9 children are proof that the marriage is blessed by God. If anyone is interested in hopping into the discussion its on the homesteading today board in the General Chat forum about the Vatican & gay marriage. Her ID is mamabug. Maybe one of you could give her better information on this subject since she seems very certain the Catholic ceremony is not a big deal. www.homesteadingtoday.com. Thanks for any answers, I know this is a confusing question.

-- Katy (becwinds@caveland.net), August 02, 2003

Answers

Response to Non catholic marriage & subsequent children

"the only part of the whole thing they haven't done is have their marriage blessed by having the actual Catholic wedding".

That's right! In other words, the only part of the whole thing they haven't done is to get married. And that fact results in the perversion of all the other parts.

-- Paul (PaulCyp@cox.net), August 02, 2003.

If "mamabug" got married before she was baptized as a Catholic, then her marriage is considered valid, and there is no problem. On the other hand, if she was married after she was baptized as a Catholic, then she needed to be married in the Catholic Church in order for the marriage to be considered valid. In either case the children are legitimate by Canon 1137.

Pope John Paul II has this to say about Catholic couples who get married outside the Church:

82. There are increasing cases of Catholics who for ideological or practical reasons, prefer to contract a merely civil marriage, and who reject or at least defer religious marriage. Their situation cannot of course be likened to that of people simply living together without any bond at all, because in the present case there is at least a certain commitment to a properly-defined and probably stable state of life, even though the possibility of a future divorce is often present in the minds of those entering a civil marriage. By seeking public recognition of their bond on the part of the State, such couples show that they are ready to accept not only its advantages but also its obligations. Nevertheless, not even this situation is acceptable to the Church.

The aim of pastoral action will be to make these people understand the need for consistency between their choice of life and the faith that they profess, and to try to do everything possible to induce them to regularize their situation in the light of Christian principle. While treating them with great charity and bringing them into the life of the respective communities, the pastors of the Church will regrettably not be able to admit them to the sacraments.

-- Mark (aujus_1066@yahoo.com), August 03, 2003.