I would like to know, if a lady married a 'gentleman'(cough), and later discovered that when they first became friends he and a friend of his had a 'bet' to see which of them could get the lady into bed first; would that give grounds for an writ of nullity???

I had made it clear to my now husband, that under no circumstances would I sleep with him unless I was married. Unfortunately I was only just 17 and he applied quite a bit of pressure, but then when he still had no 'success', he started talking in terms of us getting married. Feeling secure that we were going to be married, after many months I finally aquiesed to his 'requests'...much to my shame. Exactly one year after I started going out with him, we became engaged. (I was just 18) The next three years went by with many ups and downs,and I refused to get married before I was 21. We got married (one non catholic and the other not baptized, and life progressed, but quite some time after we married, my husband laughingly informed me of the little 'bet' he and one of his friends had had. I laughed, but I can't begin to tell you how mortified I was. I know he cared about me, but how much of us being married had to do with that bet and his desire to get me into bed??? I honestly can't be sure. If anyone can give a thought on this I'd be greatful. Sorry if this is an undesireable question, but it has been bothering me for quite some time now. God bless us one and all, and may He grant us wisdom and peace. Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us. Saint Bernadette, pray for us. Seonad

-- Seonad (Shona) (gonetroppo_31@yahoo.co.uk), August 04, 2003

Answers

-- (top@top.top), August 04, 2003.

I just received a response from top@top.top. Unfortunately I am unable to see the content of the response. Could the moderator or someone else please tell my why this has happened? Thank you. God Bless, Seonad

-- Seonad (Shona) (gonetroppo_31@yahoo.co.uk), August 04, 2003.

Hi Shona, someone has just "topped" your question. This means it goes to the top of the listings on the 'recent answers' page. To view this page click on the "new answers" link similar to below found at the top of the new questions page.

[ Ask a Question | Unanswered Questions | New Answers | Publisher ]

Ive probably just confused you more! I think you have grounds for an annulment but Im not an expert, just a bored person on the fringes of Gods grace! Please be careful when asking such specific questions as this is not an official Church forum but a discussion forum of primarily lay people. Hopefully someone will be able to answer your question but until you speak to your local priest dont put too much weight or hope in their answer.

God Bless Shona and Good Luck

-- Kiwi (csisherwood@hotmail.com), August 04, 2003.

Shona,

A lot depends on why your husband, ultimately, decided to get married. If the bet was the main reason then I'd say yes you have grounds for an annullment. If somewhere along the way his mind changed and he married you for the right reasons then you probably do not have grounds.

Hope that's helpful.

-- Fr. Mike Skrocki, JCL (abounamike@aol.com), August 04, 2003.

Hello Everyone, Firstly, thank you, Kiwi for your advice and for telling me what was happening regarding 'top'.

Thank you Fr. Mike for your initial piece of information, however, regarding your second post, that was disgusting.

Thank you Theresa for your comments. I have been married for many years now, and I make no excuses for my behaviour, but I can assure you, if I had it to do over again, I certainly wouldn't have.

Thank you rod for your observation. I'm inclined to agree.

John, thank you for your advice. I have read many of your posts and have the opinion of you being an honest and fair man, however I can't beging to tell you how disappointed I was in your response. I admit it was a stupid move, however I certainly have not lied to you or anyone else. As God is my witness, I swear on everything good and Holy that I told the truth regarding this matter. This, however is irrelevent, as the good Lord knows I speak the truth and it is He who shall judge me. As for confession, I shall be glad to receive the blessed Sacrement once I am baptized. I am about to begin RCIA with Fr. McFayden and look forward to joining the Church.

Thank you all for your contributions/advice.

Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us. Saint Bernadette, pray for us.

May God grant us all wisdom and peace,

Seonad

-- Seonad (Shona) (gonetroppo_31@yahoo.co.uk), August 06, 2003.