Hello, is it true that if you get married during the period of Lent, that you are not allowed to have flowers in the Church? Can you have any decorations at all?

Anon

-- Anon (noemail@none.com), August 14, 2003

Answers

This is an occasion for me to pass along a story. :)

A Benedictine priest once told a little tale about a woman who requested him to witness a marriage; its date was well within the Advent season. He replied that, yes, certainly, he would!--with one provisio, that it conformed to the liturgical spirit of Advent: simple, and mostly bare, in anticipation of the Birth of our Lord.

This news brought a frown to the woman's face, and hence followed a deadly phrase,

"But, you know, I had my heart set on..."

(Original storyteller's note: Woe! Woe, when the above words are uttered on parish grounds! What they really mean is, this woman has had her entire wedding planned since she was four years old; her Barbie dolls have played it through countless times, and nothing short of the Four Horsemen would change anything!!!)

"...a Winter Wonderland Wedding, you know, like they have at B.H. Gordon's (or some generic shopping mall apparel outlet)." We're talking piles of fake snow, ice skaters, ELVES, lights, Christmas trees, carollers, SANTA CLAUS, etc. etc.

Father wouldn't have any of it. After (what I'm sure was a heated) discussion, the woman left crying. "But, but, my Winter Wonderland!!!

After some time, Father received a call from the young woman's mother. The voice of learned wisdom, she told Father, "I don't know what's gotten into my daughter; I hope you'll forgive her. Just reserve the date, and we'll do everything you say, Father."

'Well isn't that nice?' thought the priest, thankful that some people in the world are still sensible.

So time passed and eventually the day of the wedding arrived. Arrangements were all made, and the ceremony was to take place following the regularly scheduled daily Mass.

But something was a little... odd.

As Father was celebrating the early Mass, he noted three unusual new guests: three little girls, with ice skates on, had joined the congregation in the very front pew. And they smiled. Through the whole Mass. Sometimes, they winked. Oh, yes, something was very wrong.

Almost before Father finished the the last word of Closing Prayer, he thought he heard somebody at back yell, "NOW!" And as the regular worshippers made haste to leave, three huge B.H. Gordon Trucks pulled up on the street, and the place was a mess of elves, lights, ice skaters, and fake snow-blowers.

It was then that a very smug-looking mother of the bride approached Father, and said, "Gotcha!"

To which Father replied, "Not quite! I know where the circuit breakers are!"

So... they had a nice little Advent wedding.

The bridesmaids were dressed as elves.

In love,

-- Skoobouy (skoobouy@hotmail.com), August 15, 2003.

I'm having difficulty finding an answer myself, actually. I came across a "Guidelines for Marriage Preparation" document for the Diocese of San Diego, which says,

"When

The wedding liturgy may take place on any day of the year with certain exceptions. Though the wedding liturgy is not prohibited during the seasons of Advent and Lent, these are more subdued seasons and other times of the year are more appropriate for the festive nature of a wedding. Marriage is never allowed on Good Friday and on Holy Saturday. Parish activities may also restrict certain dates and times."

http://www.diocese-sdiego.org/MarriagPrepGdlns.htm

But it doesn't reference any Vatican documents. I'm still looking.

-- Skoobouy (skoobouy@hotmail.com), August 15, 2003.

This is a helpful guide from the U.S. Bishops about legitimate Wedding days.

http://www.nccbuscc.org/liturgy/q&a/general/liturgycalendar.htm

But nothing yet about decoration, except that it's supposed to be "subdued".

-- Skoobouy (skoobouy@hotmail.com), August 15, 2003.

The above document states, "people should keep the nature of the seasons in mind when planning their celebration."

It's beginning to look, to me, like some modest decorations are allowed, but I wish I could find something more specific.

-- Skoobouy (skoobouy@hotmail.com), August 15, 2003.

From the Introduction to the 1969 Rite of Marriage vernacular edition,

"When a marriage is celebrated during Advent or Lent or other days of penance, the parish priest should advise the couple to take into consideration the special nature of these liturgical seasons."

There is also a 1992 Rite of Marriage that has not yet been translated; I do not know if any changes are in effect, but I suspect not. As you can see, there is (probably) some flexibility, but it is the duty of priests to see that the liturgical seasons are respected.

-- Skoobouy (skoobouy@hotmail.com), August 15, 2003.

Jmj
Hello, folks.

The new (2002) official English translation of the new (2000) edition of the General Instruction of the Roman Missal has this directive, which I think covers "Anon's" query:

"305. Moderation should be observed in the decoration of the altar [throughout the whole year].
During Advent the floral decoration of the altar should be marked by a moderation suited to the character of this season, without expressing prematurely the full joy of the Nativity of the Lord.
During Lent it is forbidden for the altar to be decorated with flowers. Laetare Sunday (Fourth Sunday of Lent), Solemnities, and Feasts are exceptions.
Floral decorations should always be done with moderation and placed around the altar rather than on its mensa [table-top]."

From this, it follows that a wedding in Lent, with some festive spirit and flowers, is best celebrated on Laetare Sunday or on one of the special days known as "solemnities" and "feasts" (but not ordinary "memorials"). In 2003, there were no "feasts," but there were two solemnities:
March 19: Solemnity of St. Joseph, Husband of Mary.
March 25: Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord.

God bless you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), August 15, 2003.