Hello,

I am not Catholic, and neither is my fiancee, however my grandfather is a Roman Catholic priest, and I would love for him to marry us. However we do not know if he is allowed by his religion, or by law to provide "legal marriages" such as those done by Justices of the Peace or Judges.

We would like to know if he is allowed to do this before we ask him to marry us.

Thank you,

--ed

-- Ed Wolb (catholic@exeunt.net), August 16, 2003

Answers

Ed, It's unusual to have a grandfather that is a Roman Catholic priest.

However, it is possible.

If you would elaborate, I would like to know how he came to be in the priesthood.

To answer your question:

Priests must follow canon law regarding the sacraments, of which, marriage is one. Since marriage is a sacrament, a priest would normally be precluded from granting it to a non-catholic.

There may be a provision, whereby a Bishop may grant that priest permission under limited circumstances (i.e. a private blessing of the marriage instead of a public blessing).

But, I doubt it.

One of the other forum writers probably needs to help on this one.

God bless,

-- john placette (jplacette@catholic.org), August 16, 2003.

He was married, and had 3 children, but then his wife (my grandmother) died several years before I was born. He decided to leave for Rome to become a priest. Many find it unusual.

I know he may not be able to perform a catholic marriage on two non-catholics, however I was hoping he could perform a legal marriage in the eyes of the law, and not the church.

Thank you,

-- Ed Wolb (catholic@exeunt.net), August 16, 2003.

Ed,

A Catholic priest can't do a simply "legal" or "civil" wedding. Because of our belief in marriage as a sacrament it is impossible to do a wedding without its "religious" aspects.

-- Fr. Mike Skrocki, JCL (abounamike@aol.com), August 16, 2003.

"I am not Catholic, and neither is my fiancee, however my grandfather is a Roman Catholic priest, and I would love for him to marry us."

-suggest you discuss this with your grandfather -who knows where it will lead you...

-- Daniel Hawkenberry (dlm@catholic.org), August 16, 2003.

Fr. Mike: Is it your belief that prevents you from performing a 'legal' wedding, or is it legal? I'm wondering if a clergyman has the same power as a Judge, Justice of the Peace or the captain of a ship, where he can pronounce two people married.

Daniel: Are you saying he may be willing to do a non-catholic wedding?

-- Ed Wolb (catholic@exeunt.net), August 17, 2003.

Every Catholic wedding is civilly/legally valid. But not every civilly/legally valid marriage is also sacramentally valid, or recognized by the Church. This is why annulment is sometimes possible. An annulment is a statement that a given union, while initially recognized as valid by the state, and subsequently "terminated" by the state through divorce, NEVER met the criteria for a valid Christian marriage. Neither the fact that the state initially recognized such a union, nor the fact that the state claims to have "dissolved" the union has any bearing whatsoever on the actual validity of the marriage before God. Before a priest can officiate at a wedding, he must be as certain as possible that no impediments exist to a valid Christian marriage. His ministry is to facilitate the union of two persons BY GOD in the holy sacrament of matrimony. He cannot participate in any sort of "wedding" ceremony which does not meet those strict criteria.

-- Paul (PaulCyp@cox.net), August 17, 2003.

"Daniel: Are you saying he may be willing to do a non-catholic wedding?"

No, I am saying exactly what I wrote -talk with him.

-- Daniel Hawkenberry (dlm@catholic.org), August 17, 2003.

Ed,

Yes, clergymen can perform marriages that are civilly recognized but the Church will not allow us to do one that is recognized ONLY civilly and not by the Church. In fact, in some states, clergymen are not permitted, by civil law, to perform marriages that would not be recognized by their religion.

-- Fr. Mike Skrocki, JCL (abounamike@aol.com), August 17, 2003.

This question raises an interesting collateral issue that I have never found an answer to. Can a priest offiate at a marriage that is not recognized by the state? The particular context in which this came up for me was the situation of black slaves on Catholic plantations, or those slaves owned by religious orders. My understanding is that state laws in the South did not recognize slave marriages as valid. But surely religious orders didn't permit open concubinage in their household and plantations, and I've never heard that black slaves were expected to be celibate. So did they provide sacramental marriages for Catholic slaves, even though the state would not recognize the marriage?

-- chris butler (cdbinsf@pacbell.net), August 30, 2003.

Well, first off my question was the other way around. Can a priest officiate a wedding not recognized by the church?

But on your question, were slaves considered to be equals, or human at those times? If religions were allowed to use slaves, then there's no way they could have recognized slaves as people under their god, could they?

If they weren't recognized as people, perhaps somehow they fell somewhere between humans and "animals", which obviously didn't need to marry.. It's horrible, but that's my guess..

-- Ed Wolb (catholic@exeunt.net), August 30, 2003.