I was raised in a Protestant family, and now at 22, I am considering becoming Catholic due to study of the scriptures, church fathers, and reading books about evangelicals who converted to Catholicism (eg. Scott Hahn). Is there anyone here who is/was in this situation who could offer me some help. For example, how did you deal with family members who objected? I don't want to cause my dad to have a heart attack or something (I'm serious -- he thinks the Pope will be the Antichrist) if he finds out that I might convert.

Also, I am considering becoming a nun, but I don't really know much about it. Are there any nuns here who could tell me what convent life is like for you, or does anyone know a nun? Also, do all nuns live in convents, or do some live alone in their own homes?

I am considering working in the mission field, so if I became a nun, would the Catholic church support me fully (financially) on the mission field? What if I got married and wanted to go on the mission field as a Catholic -- would the church still support me financially?

If I am not ready to convert due to family struggles and being in college, what would the Catholic Church say about that? Am I thus not considered a Christian, and does the church say that I would go to hell if I died right now? Even if I am a faithful, practicing Protestant, who was baptized in a Protestant church, but I have become reasonably certain of the truth of the Catholic Church?

Thanks so much ahead of time to all who can help me with any/all of these questions! God bless :)

-- Emily (jesusfollower7@yahoo.com), January 06, 2004

Answers

Jmj

Hi, Emily. Welcome (I hope) to the Catholic Church!

As a "cradle Catholic," the very best advice I can give you is to ask you to complete your journey with the help of the #1 organization that exists to help folks who are just like you, the Coming Home Network. Started by Marcus Grodi (former Lutheran/Presbyterian/Congregationalist and fellow seminarian with Scott Hahn), and staffed mainly by converts to help people considering conversion, a representative of the Coming Home Network will be able to answer every one of the questions you asked above -- and will help you to make the transition into the Church.

I am going to give you a link to the CHN now. Please read the brief summary info on this page, and then, at the bottom, find the e-mail address and toll-free number that you can use to make your first contact. (If you wish, you can try some of the links on the page too, to get a better idea of what CHN has been doing. They specialize in clergy conversions, but by no means are limited to clergy.) here is the link.

I'm sure that you are going to get responses, after mine, from some converts to Catholicism, including (I hope) from Gail.

God bless you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@Hotmail.com), January 06, 2004.

First, I will be praying for you. Second, I too am a Cradle Catholic, but I can answer some of your questions. I wonder, what is drawing you to the sisterhood if you do not really know much about it? (I know . . . the Holy Spirit, okay dumb question). Not all nuns live in convents, though most do. And, some convents are just like a house, so take that for what it is worth. There are also many 'orders' that have a 'third order' which is consecrated lay people. In essence you are a member of the group but not in the 'convent' specifically.

As for missions, it depends on the mission and on the group of Nuns you join really. If you became a nun though, your order (the group of Nuns you join) would take care of you financially, not the Church directly. Of course, they all take vows of poverty so the level of care is in line with that. As a married person in mission work, you would have to be associated with some sort of mission group. There are tons of these in the Church and it is a matter of finding one that fits you. Each one runs its finances a bit differently, so it is tough to generalize on these issues.

As for when to convert and such. First, don't rush it. Sometimes the Holy Spirit is a romantic sweeping you off your feet, sometimes he is a gentle lover waiting patiently. If you are not ready it is not time yet. However, when the time comes that you are ready then the Church teaches that you must. It is a matter of conscience really, if you believe that the Church is what she claims to be and you do not convert then you are violating your own conscience. The Church will always grant you the title of Christian as long as you believe in Jesus Christ. We also declare nobody in hell. (We have some good inclination from time to time -like Hitler- but we never declare anyone in hell). Like I said before, it is a matter of your conscience, and we cannot judge your conscience, only you can. The Church will never damn you to hell (indeed it cannot) but if you truly believe in the Catholic Church and choose not to convert then your conscience will declare against you.

I can't offer any help with family issues other than this . . .pray.

In Christ, Dano

-- Dan Garon (boethius61@yahoo.com), January 06, 2004.

Hi Emily, What precious questions! I am NOT a cradle but am a convert, due in large part to Scott Hahn and numerous others who have inspired me and helped me through their wonderful testimonies.

I am afraid I am still learning about many aspect of the Church, and so would not be able to help much with respect to the "nun" question. Give yourself a little time and let the Lord work those issues out. Right now, you need to concentrate on the journey set immediately before you; i.e., Coming Home!

I have many many evangelical Protestant friends who think I've flipped. My dad doesn't like it, but he's okay with it. My best friend practically disowned me, but now we're okay too. Let the Lord work on those things. You need to get yourself grounded, and let Him work out the rest of the details.

Keep on studying the Fathers, the Catechism, find a mass you can attend regularly, and find a priest that can help you with these issues. Don't be discouraged if you feel you don't fit in right at first. It may take a little time. This is no little thing.

We will certainly pray for you, particular that God would bring some godly Catholics into your life that can help you.

May your journey find its end at Home!

Gail

-- Gail (rothfarms@socket.net), January 06, 2004.

Thanks so much for your help with referring me to the CHN, and for the prayers and support of all of you. I am not sure if I'm ready for this yet. I feel the need to study more in-depth for several reasons: 1. to make sure that I am making the right decision 2. to be able to explain to friends/family the reasons for my conversion

I am stuck right now because I still live in my parents house as I am still attending college. My mother is pursuing Catholicism also (she played a major role in drawing me closer to it, although was not the initial instigator). However, my father is very much against it. He has banned Catholic materials from our home, but mom still reads them. I am not sure what to do, because I feel God calling me to study it and I long to study it, but in this way I will not be honoring my father. I hate this feeling that I must hide all of this from him.

I am distressed because I do not want to dishonor him as the head of our home. However, this is a matter of faith and obedience to God, who is over humans. But should I wait for several more years to pursue it at all, when I can move out? I long to join now, and I think it would go against conscience to delay, after all that God has shown me. I am 22 and therefore legally an adult. Scripturally, the father is the head until the woman marries, at which point her husband becomes her head. But if I am considering becoming a nun, that would mean I will not marry. In which case, when does my father cease to be my head?

I will hopefully have some free time for extensive study this summer while he is at work, but I still feel guilty for hiding it from him. Is this wrong, to hide this from him?

-- Emily (jesusfollower7@yahoo.com), January 06, 2004.

Please, if anyone is a nun or knows one, I would really like to talk with you about it.

What drew me to the sisterhood, you asked? Ever since around age 14 or so, I have felt that God might be calling me to singleness. However, as a Protestant with no intention (at that time) of becoming Catholic, I dreaded the thought. The main reason I would consider marriage is because I long for companionship, and not just a superficial or passing kind, but the chance to get to know someone over a lifetime or at least a long period of time. I could not imagine myself living alone in some apartment my whole life as a single woman, or even living with other women in Christian community, because who knows if next year they might leave and get married, and I would have to start over a friendship with someone else?

So I pushed aside the feeling of that calling, since I figured that God would not give me the desire for companionship and then not fulfill it. And I did not consider becoming a nun as an option at that time, because I thought Catholics were deceived, at best, in their religion.

Now that I have been considering Catholicism, I just came to the realization several weeks ago that this Christian denomination alone (perhaps with Anglican & Orthodox exceptions) acknowledges women actually being called to singleness as a permanment state, rather than a state of transition (between childhood and marriage). This Protestant version of "transition state" is something I would hate. I would rather know for sure that I will never marry than to live in an extended time of wondering and waiting for someone who never comes.

From a young age, I have also been interested in doing foreign mission work. And ever since spending time studying in several developing countries, I have longed to be able to do something in service to the poor and oppressed. My heart breaks for their situations that I witnessed. I've also thought about the fact that foreign missions would be a lot easier for a single person, who can enter dangerous situations without fear of leaving someone without a wife or mother. Also I will not need to have concern for "the cares of the world" (to quote Paul) that come with having a husband and children. I could focus all of my ministry and attention on mission work and the people I would be serving.

I feel convicted about my wealth and selfishness while those in poverty are starving or hurting, and I want to do something to counter that. If I do not, I will feel that I have wasted my life selfishly.

As for the idea of joining a convent rather than going out on my own, I believe that the former is more scriptural. Jesus sent out the disciples in pairs, and there are no accounts in the Bible (to my knowledge) of people, and especially women, going out sharing the gospel alone. I also long for Christian community and in-depth relationships with others. We need that support for our own sake as Christians, so that we do not fall. And also we need the support in ministry.

Finally, I hate the Protestant subconscious mindset that all "nice, pretty girls" should be married, and there must be something wrong with them if they are not. I believe that God calls some to marriage and others to singleness (Paul addresses this in 1 Cor.). While Protestants may give this idea lip service, they often do not practice it in the way they treat people. Also, the family concept is so overly emphasized, so as to be hurtful to those of us who are single. Many ministries or opportunities are marriage & family focused, with little to no inclusion of single persons. I think the Catholic holy orders practice (monks, priests, nuns) is superior because it gives those who are called to singleness a definite calling and stability. There are days when I wish for marriage, but if I were a nun, for example, I and others would know that such a choice for me is not an option.

All of that to answer your question. Like I said in my first post, I do not know much about nuns or convent life, but I am attracted to the idea of it. To serving God with my entire life (sacrificed for His sake) while living in Christian community. I would also love to be able to attend church more often than once a week. To worship God daily would be such a joy.

Again, any nuns please post here or email me personally, so that I could ask you questions about convent life. Or just tell me what a typical day is like. Or whatever.

Thanks and God bless you all. Please pray for a miracle with my father, who is opposed to Catholicism.

-- Emily (jesusfollower7@yahoo.com), January 06, 2004.

Emily, I also will be praying for you!

I am a convert myself...my mom is a non-practicing Catholic, my dad a non-practicing Baptist. I went through RCIA at age 17, though I never considered entering a convent. (I've always had a very strong desire to be a mom.)

A good site for you to check out might be www.vocation.com.

-- AVC (alexis@alexiscoxon.com), January 07, 2004.

Emily

I will be praying for you too to convert. Here are a few useful links for your journey into our faith:

CATHOLIC ANSWERS CATHOLIC CONVERTS CATHOLIC DEFENSE

God Bless You

-- Andrew (andyhbk96@hotmail.com), January 07, 2004.

Hello again, Emily.

When you contact the Coming Home Network, I believe that they link you with a specific convert to help you on the journey. Typically it would be someone from your same religion or denomination -- someone who would understand the theological background you have and the hurdles that need to be overcome. However, in your case, perhaps you should ask to be linked with a convert who has become a sister or nun. (I seem to recall that CHN has had at least one such woman on the weekly, live TV program, "The Journey Home" on EWTN -- the 24-hour Catholic cable network.).

Emily, you wrote something that was quite surprising to me:
"I am not sure what to do, because I feel God calling me to study [Catholicism] and I long to study it, but in this way I will not be honoring my father."

You are mistaken. You will be "honoring" your Father in heaven. Whenever a choice must be made between Him and your earthly father, it is not a difficult choice at all. The commandment to honor one's mother and father never applies when a parent (or other figure of authority) tries to demand that you commit a sin. In this case, your father lacks permission from God to forbid you to learn about Jesus's own Church! Therefore you are not required to obey him in something that is wrong.

You continued: "But should I wait for several more years to pursue it at all, when I can move out?"

I have to say, "no," because the temptation to delay is a tool of the devil. He definitely does not want you to begin receiving the sacraments, to begin to study for the sisterhood, etc.!

Your father has the right, as home owner, to prohibit your bringing Catholic materials into the house. But he has no right to prohibit your studying away from home, storing materials elsewhere, etc.. After you join the Church, you will have to decide whether to boldly announce that you are now Catholic -- and risk being ejected from the house. You have every right to keep the truth from your father until such time as you are able to move out -- either to a new abode or into a convent!

You continued: "I am 22 and therefore legally an adult. Scripturally, the father is the head until the woman marries, at which point her husband becomes her head. But if I am considering becoming a nun, that would mean I will not marry. In which case, when does my father cease to be my head?"

As Catholics, we do not believe that a father is the commanding "head" of his daughter after she becomes an adult. Emily, you are an adult now, and you do not have to do your father's bidding unless you freely choose to -- or unless it is owed to him in justice (e.g., paying rent). He cannot force you to take, or give up, a job. As a sister or nun, you will indeed "marry" and wear a ring! Your "head" will be your mystical spouse, Jesus Christ. Your subordinate "heads" will be the visible persons whom your spouse wills to place over you: the pope, your bishop, and your religious superior. (But no longer your parents.)

God bless you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), January 07, 2004.

WOW, Emily! Your last message was great. You say you don't know much about nuns and convents but let me tell you, you know more about the celibate vocation than half the Catholics I know.

As for your Father, living a life of self deception does not honour him. I would respect his wishes and not bring Catholic material into the house, but go to the library to read. Or a friends house, or a parish, whatever. If he asks, you might try something along these lines, "Father, I am 22 and you have raised me to know and love the Lord (assuming that is true). My faith is in my own hands now, but you have trained me well, thank you. However, there are some questions that have come up that I need answered. To ignore these issues would be to lie to myself and live in ignorance. You have taught me not to do that. Whether or not I become Catholic, please know that I am only seeking to know the truth and to serve the Lord. I love you Dad, but I need to follow where I believe Jesus is leading me. I will follow your desire and not bring Catholic material into the house but please do not ask me to stop searching for the truth."

If my daughter said that to me I would not be able to refuse. I don't know your father, maybe that would not work. My heart goes out to your difficult situation. God Bless you.

Dano

-- Dan Garon (boethius61@yahoo.com), January 07, 2004.

Emily, Am I ever glad I read your questions and concerns!!! I am a Protestant and 19 years old. I tto, have thought many times about becoming a monk and or a priest. Both of my parents a Protestants as well and this makes my decision VERY tough. No one here can truely relate to what we are both going through with our parents unless they too went through the same thing. It's VERY rough!!! Although my parents do not forbid catholic material, in fact my mother bought me a catholic bible, they do not wish for me to convert. I have known for many years that I've been called to the ministry. I was playing church with the neighborhood kids when I was in first grade. My parents paid for me to take schooling and now that I recieved my ministerial license, they wish for me to preach at a Brethren Church where they can attend. So, in a way I feel as though I'm letting them down. I also am my civil war group's chaplain and almost all of the members are protestant. So I feel that it's my job and duty to provide them with a Protestant service on Sundays. Although my mother has no harsh feelings against Catholics, she does hate homosexuals, I can't stand their unnatural and satan inspired acts myself. She's so worried that if I become a priest, that people will think of me as a homo or a child abuser because of the Church's current reputation. Protestants can't understand someone living a chaste life. To them, if you do not marry, you must be gay. See, it's a lot rougher for a male who feels called to a catholic vocation. Believe me, I do understand what you are going through and I will pray for you as I hope you will do for me. I too, live with my family and wish to honor them, but as much as I hate to, I believe I need to choose God over family. God Bless in all you do!!!!!

-- Shawn Gisewhite (sharvin@acsworld.net), January 21, 2004.

i would also like ot become a nun and i would like to know how i can possibly become a nun if anyone could xplain it to me i would glady appreciate it.

-- joann torres (laprincesa10@aol.com), February 03, 2004.

Shawn and Emily:

My prayers are (still)with you in your difficulties.

Joann, the best way to find out about becoming a Nun os to talk to them. Every group of sisters will have a vocations director that would be more than happy to talk to you. Your diocese will also have a vocations director who can help you get in touch with the different orders of Nuns. There are a great many different orders with different charisms, take some time to find the right fit. When you start talking to them they are all going to 'want' you. Not that this is bad, they just haven't seen a lot of vocations in the recent years and anyone who contacts them will make them very excited. Anyway, what I am saying is pray lots and God will show you the way.

Good luck and God Bless

Dano

-- Dan Garon (boethius61@yahoo.com), February 03, 2004.

Shawn:
Is there a reason why you feel called to be a minister? Ask God Himself.

He must call you if ever you are to become his priest. It has little to do with ambition or private inclinations. Only when you've truly understood His divine Will for you will you be justified in pursuing a priestly vocation.

Put aside all the ramifications; whether they be some ''gay'' stigma, or a parent's perceptions. Parents are notorious even in Catholic societies for quashing their own childrens' vocations. They are to be left strictly out of these considerations. If they disapprove, let them! You only have responsibility to one person: Jesus Christ.

Were you under the impression Saint Paul was called on the road to Damascus to be Christ's apostle; and for one minute entertained these qualms you're talking about? --No. He heard the call for certain and it changed him immediately. That's how you have to feel. Go by faith! Pray to Him for the same certainty. Don't base a vocation on feelings you had as a child. Jesus calls men to be His holy priests.

Furthermore, it's unfair and uncharitable to draw evil conclusions from the Church's recent upheavals; as if one way of looking at her priests is with suspicion. The great majority of priests are good men, and even saintly men. There are bad apples in every basket. God knows that better than any of us. No one will have any cause to treat you with suspicion, if God were ever to call you. Not ever!

It's GOD you must please; and it's He who will make you a holy man, not your private aspirations to ministerial rank. Forget the vanity of this world. Pray to God and pray with all possible faith.

All the rest is His problem. Let him work your life out for you. FAITH!

-- eugene c. chavez (loschavez@pacbell.net), February 03, 2004.

I have been searching to no avail for a comprehensive list of opportunities or orders of nuns to join. Does anyone know of a list of the numerous orders that exist, and the opportunities within them?

Thanks in advance & God bless!

-- Emily (jesusfollower7@yahoo.com), February 13, 2004.

Hi Emily,

Here's a list of Bishops, Priests, Deacons, Nuns, Brothers, Sisters, Orders, Organizational Acronynms, what the letters by their names mean.
You can do a web search (using Google etc.) to find out more information about a particular order.
God bless you.
FGC

-- FGC (FGCC4@yahoo.com), February 13, 2004.

Hi Emily,

Sorry, I don't have a list, but I think you might investigate an order called "Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur." Just a personal preferance of mine. I have always been impressed with these Sisters. I had them as teachers when I was a youngster. ( this was over 30 years ago) They were brilliant teachers, very kind and inspiring. I just feel there is something special about them. In addition to teaching, they do a tremendous amount of good work all over the world. I recently discovered a community mission not far from where I live in Baltimore City. Its run by the Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur and I'm just as impressed today as I was 30 years ago.

-- Jim Furst (furst@flash.net), February 16, 2004.

Dear FGC,

Thank you so much for your list, as it gave me the ability to search for specific names of orders and find many other, more extensive lists! I am very excited about the search process and I am looking for the right fit (thanks in part to Dan's advice to Joann that they will all want me to join with theirs).

Jim, Thanks for your thoughts. I looked through their website and they seem like a good group of women. I will keep them in mind. :)

God bless,

-- Emily (jesusfollower7@yahoo.com), February 16, 2004.

I wonder if Keith's advice would be the same if your father were asking you to become Catholic? Somehow I doubt it.

The truth of the matter is that God's call comes in a number of ways. St. Francis' father wanted St. Francis to be a merchent and was irrate that he bacame a friar. But the Holy Sprit worked through St. Francis to do many great things and bring millions to God. Jesus told us in, gasp, scripture to abandon all, including our families, and follow Him. Please, I encourage you, that while you are searching, you read scripture.

In Christ, your Catholic friend, Bill

-- Bill Nelson (bnelson45-nospam@hotmail.com), March 04, 2004.

Nice try Keith. It won't do.

"In Oscar Wilde's memorable phrase -- and Wilde himself was a deathbed convert -- 'The Catholic Church is for saints and sinners alone. For respectable people the Anglican Church will do.'"

"As the second century theologian St. Irenaeus wrote in his book, Against Heresies, 'We must obey the elders in the Church, who hold the succession from the Apostles ... who with the episcopal succession have received the sure gift of truth. As for the rest, who are divorced from the principal succession and gather where they will, they are to be held in suspicion, as heretics and evil- thinkers, faction makers, swelled-headed, self-pleasing."

"Among the early heretics were ... the Montanists, who believed in personal revelations equal in authority to the teachings of the Church and to Scripture." -- HW Crocker III

-- tom (jubileeyear@yahoo.com), March 04, 2004.

My original post has disappeared, but in response to Bill and Tom I would like to clarify something.

Emily, when I advised you to do this process of searching with your parents and said, "through your study of the Word," I did not mean to imply that you should not read the Church Father's or examine tradition. I just think that your spiritual search should happen in the context of submission to your spiritual authority.

Hope this clear things up.

May God bless you, Keith

-- Keith Miller (miller@evangelsociety.org), March 04, 2004.

That holds no water, Keith.

What if someone's earthly father is an aetheist, a serial killer, a pagan, a heretic, a schismatic, an apostate, a new ager, etc.?

Our True Father is the One in Heaven. The Way, the Truth, and the Light is His Son Jesus Christ who is the Founder of His One and Only Church, the ancient Holy Catholic Church.

-- tom (jubileeyear@yahoo.com), March 04, 2004.

Tom, please don't group aetheists, new agers, pagans etc. with serial killers. Their set of beliefs and values are just as acceptable and valuable as your own. Emily, i hope you are happy in what ever path you choose to take.

Jess

-- (angel_delight33@hotmail.com), March 07, 2004.

I used to be a protestant. My family is actualy Catholic but from an early age I fell away from God and was an Aietheist. I became a protestant when I was 20. My parents were confused and sad as I said so many hateful, prideful, and ignorant things against the church. They were especialy disapointed when I said I was getting baptized a second time since I believed my baptism when I was a baby in the Catholic Church was invalid.

But ever since I got engaged to a wonderful Catholic woman I began studying Catholicism seriously and was shocked how truthful it was and is. I now have returned to my original faith. Praise the Lord.

My old protestant church dearly wants me to return or at least visit. I pray for all of them, but I'm not sure if I should even visit. Should I when the gospel is different than the Catholic's gospel of Jesus Christ? I am so joyed to meet Christ in holy communion but there I'll miss that. Would it be ok to visit or not? I don't know.

-- Jason (Enchanted fire5@aol.com), March 07, 2004.

Jason,

Not a good idea. We have enough workload and difficulty as Catholics. Focus on Catholicism. Learn more about our Catholic Church. Learn more about our Saints. Persevere to go to Daily Mass. Pray the Rosary, the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, the Way of the Cross. Go to a retreat. God Bless.

-- sam (sambaggins@yahoo.com), March 08, 2004.

Not bad advice from Sam; take that course, and soon enough they'll be visiting you instead. Seriously!

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), March 08, 2004.