In August of last year I asked for a divorce and I really did not see me ever reconciling with my husband or even wanting to for that matter. While I was out of state on a trip that I never should have been on in the first place (that is for another prayer request) he filed, I was not upset or surprised. Though I asked the divorce was mutual and I went out to live my life separate from Brett.

In our marriage I really did not pull my weight, financially or otherwise. I was unemployed since January of 2003. I did not do much to save money, just spend it! Things got so bad and we just could not communicate at all.

Our divorce was final at the end of October of last year and I have had so much time to think about what I really want in life. I realized the mistakes that I made and how not to make them again and I have realize what is really important.

I pray that our marriage can one day be restored. That Brett will let me into his life and his heart once again.

I do have a good feeling about all of this, even though I am afraid that I am just feeling this way because that is what I want. I honestly don't think so, but I have had similar feelings in the past that turned out to be so wrong (not pertaining to this)

Please pray I appreciate every single one in his precious name Amen

-- Jennifer (jen_fischstixs@highstream.net), February 10, 2004

Answers

May God be with you in this troubling time. I will pray for you.

Dano

-- Dan Garon (boethius61@yahoo.com), February 10, 2004.

I will pray for you also.

-- Andy (aszmere@earthlink.net), February 10, 2004.

Jennifer,

I wish you well and will pray for you.

I have 1 sibling (a younger brother) and my wife has one (an older sister. They both married early in life, one at 21 and the other at 18. They both developed problems in their marriages and then went through a formal divorce. I was shocked that my brother and his wife seperated but it happened. Both cases involved infidelity but started out with the members drifting apart and not communicating.

Both my brother and sister-in-law had their divorces finalized and lived for a year or so as single people. They wandered around the singles scene but over time they realized that they had been fools to give up on their marriages so easily. Everyone they met could not hold a candle to their spouse. The grass was not greener for either of them. Meanwhile their spouses were learning the exact same thing.

In the end, my brother remarried his previous wife and my wife's sister did the same (so both my one sibling and my wife's have been divorced and remarried to the same person). Both couples have been back together for 7 years or so and have had two children each since getting remarried.

I would advise you to consider following the Church's advice and not get involved with other men. You are Brett's wife until death or in the event of an annulment. Keep in touch with Brett and I hope in time you will be as blessed as my family members have been.

-- David F (dqf@cox.net), February 10, 2004.

I read an interesting study once.

In the study they asked couples to describe their marriages. Then recontacted them 5 years later. Of the ones that said they were 'extremely unhappy' the first time, most got divorced. When they checked in again most still described themselves as unhappy. On the otherhand, of the ones that stayed together 80% now described their marriages as 'good' or better. And these are people who did nothing, absolutely nothing, they just waited it out. They called the study 'wait 5 years'.

If these people can find so much in their marriages, then someone who prays and wants reconcilliation and puts effort into the situation must have great chances. May Jennifer find herself in a 'good' place like David's family 5 years from now.

Dano

-- Dan Garon (boethius61@yahoo.com), February 10, 2004.