sexual orientation : LUSENET : Freedom! self reliance : One Thread

how can i tell whether i am homosexual?

-- Alinane Ligoya (, April 14, 2004


Well the fact that this post has not been inundated with nasty remarks gives me faith in the human race and also makes me sure I really like this forum! :)

That fact that you choose this forum to ask that question is very interesting. You must be feeling very alone. I hope this helps you.

#1. I hate to answer a question with a question but in this case it's important. You need to ask yourself who's definition of homosexuality do you mean. Most sane Judeo-Christains will tell you you are a homosexual if you practice the acts of having sexual relations with another person of the same sex. So if your looking for an answer in relation to religion or God in the Judeo- Christian sense that is it. God does not punish people for what they think or how they feel. Some churches get around the issue by lumping homosexual behavoir in with if you get married to a person of the same sex then the sexual acts are not a sin. I have to leave this up to you to decide since I'm not God :)

#2 If religion is not a factor in your question the best thing I can tell you is that sexual attraction to people of the same sex is normal. It is certainly a normal part of growing up and being a teenager. And don't let anyone tell you that just because you asked the question that proves your a homosexual. Most gay orginazations agree that the "definition" of being gay is a person who is not only sexually attracted to the same sex but is also sure that they would be more comforatable and happy living and socializing with other gay people. And they all agree that if your the kind of person that feels you need to ask the question and then make a decision about it versus that kind of person that has always known they were gay from childhood you should not be in a hurry to do that. If your a teenager give yourself time and put that question on a back burner. Wait until your at least in your 20's and in the mean time try and arm yourself with real information. Get to know other gay people. Go to gay groups and functions where you can talk to people in a safe,friendly environement. See for yourself what it is your thinking you might want to live like. And stay off the Internet for doing this! As you probably already know it is overwhelming to try and find decent info without ending up in the world of Internet pornography. Call a local AIDS or HIV hotline and they will be able to give good info and places to go where you can meet people in a non-sexual and non- threatening environment.

Finally....and most importantly.....being gay is NOT all about sex. There are many,many people who consider themselves gay and are also celibate. There are also many more people who are gay and do not participate in the sensationalized "gay lifestyle" we all see on TV. They are "normal" folks in committed relationships who want the same thing we all want. Love,friendship,someone to come home to and grow old with.

And if it matters no....I am not gay....but I did stuggle with that question many,many years ago. I decided that it was too overwhelming to "decide" and so decided not to decide :) Nature took it's course and I am married to a man and happy with that. But I still think women are beautiful and comforatable knowing that just because I can appreciate their beauty doesn't make me gay.

I hope this has helped you, Best of luck, Lorraine

-- Lorraine (, July 12, 2004.

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