I am engaged to a man who is Catholic, by that I mean he received first communion, but he was never confirmed. I was raised in a Protestant church. Now that we are discussing marriage, he and his family want us to be married in the Catholic church. Question, what defines whether or not someone is Catholic? My FI received first communion at 9 or 10 and although he attends services regularly, he was never confirmed. Would he even be eligible to marry in the Catholic church or would he have to be confirmed as well? I want to know because if he is not going to be recognized as a Catholic, then we need to evaluate how we should proceed....I can either take classes with him so that I better understand the tenants of the Catholic faith and pray on whether I should consider becoming Catholic. It is very important to me that we marry in a church,

-- lisette chambliss (chai2life@aol.com), April 22, 2004

Answers

Lisette,

Congratulations on your engagement! My understanding is that a Catholic does not necessarily have to be confirmed to be considered Catholic in terms of getting married in the Catholic Church. As long as your fiancee believes and practices the Catholic faith, you shouldn't have any problems. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong.

Is there a reason why your fiancee does not want to be confirmed?

Either way, I encourage you to learn more about the Catholic faith. It will help you understand your future husband and his family better, at the very least.

-- Andy (aszmere@earthlink.net), April 22, 2004.

Lisette,

Yes, your fiance would be considered Catholic. Anyone baptized as a Catholic or received into Catholicism after baptism is considered Catholic.

Good luck on your marriage plans. May Christ our Lord continue to bless both of you on your journey.

Hope that's helpful.

-- Fr. Mike Skrocki, JCD (cand) (abounamike@aol.com), April 22, 2004.

Father Mike, this thread reminds me of a question I would like to ask. In the past, I have witnessed situations where a priest or deacon has rightfully refused to baptise a baby because the parents were not practising Catholics. My question then, is this: In the case of the Sacrament of Matrimony, is it within the discretion of the priest or deacon to refuse to marry a couple who although baptized, are not practising Catholics and have no intention to become practising Catholics in the foreseeable future? It has been my experience that some couples seek out a “church” wedding so that an optimum “photo opportunity” can be obtained. It makes for a great photo album to show the grandkids.

-- Ed (catholic4444@yahoo.ca), April 22, 2004.

Ed,

In theory, yes, it is within the discretion of the priest. However, that should be done very carefully. Remember you're refusing someone the grace of a sacrament and who knows what effect that grace might have in their lives. You might be losing an opportunity to lead someone back to the practice of their faith.

Hope that's helpful.

-- Fr. Mike Skrocki, JCD (cand) (abounamike@aol.com), April 22, 2004.

Yes it is Father. I understand what you're saying. Thanks for the reply.

-- Ed (catholic4444@yahoo.ca), April 22, 2004.

I do not have an answer but I do have a question. I have been doing research on the Sacraments of Marriage because I am planning to marry soon. I was born in Mexico, Batize and confirm in Mexico. My priest ask me for my baptism certificate but my father that lives in Mexico can't find it. I talk to my priest and he told me that he can't marry me unless I have that certificate. What should I do? Is there something I can do? Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry for not responding about your case but I thought maybe you can help me.

Virginia Estrada

-- Virginia Estrada (virginiaestrada@hotmail.com), May 04, 2004.