My husband and I have been married for seven years, and have children. We were married right after turning 18 years old. I was baptised and raise catholic, and my husband converted a few years after we were married. However, we were married in a Baptist Church and our marriage has never been blessed by the Catholic Church. I think that since we were so young, neither of us was really ready to be married, and as we have grown up we have grown apart. In addition we have recently been fighing, he broke his hand after hitting my dresser and he shoved me a few days ago. I have always been firm on my belief that a woman should not sit around and let her husband beat her. I do not intend on staying around and letting things get worse, once was enough for me. I also don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. I hope to find someone that I truly believe is my soul mate and the person I should be with for the rest of my life. When I do I would like to be married in the catholic church this time. Will I need my first marriage to be annulled, even though it was not in the catholic church, before I will be able to be married by the catholic church?

-- Penelope (ren_princezz@yahoo.com), May 24, 2004

Answers

Response to Do I need an anullement for a non-catholic marriage

Think of "annulment" not as something that is changed regarding a previous marriage; but rather, as an official statement by the Church that a previous marriage is not considered valid. The "annulment" does not make a previously valid marriage invalid. It simply states what is already objectively true. If a previous marriage was/is valid, then it cannot be "annuled". If it was/ is not valid, then the Church may issue an official statement to that effect, which is what is commonly called an "annulment". Therefore, yes, regardless of the circumstances of your first marriage, it must be submitted to a marriage trubunal so that validity, or lack thereof, can be determined. As a Catholic married in a Baptist ceremony, you have virtually certain grounds for annulment. However, it still must go through official channels.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), May 24, 2004.

Response to Do I need an anullement for a non-catholic marriage

Penelope,

You atated you have a non-catholic marriage and have both grown apart...

It is possible to have a your marriage recognized/regularized by the Church -see your priest to discuss the details... Additionally, you and your Husband can unite in Christ and grow together again...

-- Daniel Hawkenberry (dlm@catholic.org), May 24, 2004.

Response to Do I need an anullement for a non-catholic marriage

Daniel,

The Church does not call women to submit to domestic violence. See this statement from the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops for details.

-- Mark (aujus_1066@yahoo.com), May 25, 2004.

Mark,

I know quite well about the 'statement' you refer -the statement is secular based and based on non-scientific study; additionally, the population(s) 'studied' and conclusions derived were domestic 'partner' situations including non-married, non Catholic, drug users AND same sex couples -hardly a cross section of the typical Catholic couple AND hardly indicative of basis to advise Catholic marriages...

Irregardless, if you read the above it appears to be potential domestic violence that is referenced (depending on what one terms domestic violence)...

I stand by my opinion on the matter...

Daniel////

-- Daniel Hawkenberry (dlm@catholic.org), May 25, 2004.

"In addition we have recently been fighing, he broke his hand after hitting my dresser and he shoved me a few days ago."

That IS domestic violence. Not sure that another man would solve the problem. Ususlly spousal abuse and being a victim runs in families--behavior cycle keeps being repeated.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), May 25, 2004.

I read the Bishops statement on domestic abuse. I found only one line where it said wives should research how they can go about getting an annulment if they are in an abusive marriage. What does this mean? If the marriage is valid, are there ways for abused wives to end the marriage and still be able to re-marry in the Catholic Church?

-- john (johndern@yahoo.com), May 25, 2004.

"What does this mean?"

In my opinion it means that the statement from the Bishops can and does lead some astray from Church teaching -a Catholic Bishop or Pastor should and never would suggest a married couple presumed validly married seperate and pursue 'annulment'...

"If the marriage is valid, are there ways for abused wives to end the marriage and still be able to re-marry in the Catholic Church?"

No -not validly.

-- Daniel Hawkenberry (dlm@catholic.org), May 25, 2004.

women should never be subjected to domestic violence of any kind get out whilst you can u may want to stay for the sake of your religion as i understand this is important to you but how far are u prepeard to let the violence go. maybe you could get help and support from other parties.

-- joanna wright (wrightowenz@aol.com), October 09, 2004.