Single Catholic wanting to marry a divorced non-Catholic in Catholic church

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I am a single Catholic woman whose fiance is a divorced non-Catholic who wants to marry in the catholic church. My fiance was married for only one year but his ex-wife committed adultery so he filed for a divorce. What steps does my fiance have to take in order for us to be married in the Catholic church as this is my first marriage? Does he need to go to his church and ask for an annulment even if he is already divorced? (He is a Presbyterian).

-- Marie Ponce (snoopymh67@hotmail.com), July 04, 2004

Answers

bump

-- D Joseph (newfiedufie@msn.com), July 04, 2004.

I,too, wanted to do this. You need to talk to the priest in the church you are considering. *18 yrs ago we could not get married in the church because of his divorce(s) and ended up in a chapel type dealy. (regrets) I wish I could remember what my church said but I cant..sorry. I DO remember calling the priest tho and he explained everything I wanted to know. *You can even call another parish if you feel funny about calling your own. Good Luck!

-- Ima Catholic (imnot@home.com), July 05, 2004.

Your question lacks certain necessary information, but here is how it appears:

1. That this is your first marriage is good, that means that the only problem to deal with is your fiance's first marriage.

2. If he and his spouse were baptized Christians at the time of their marriage, the Catholic Church considers that marriage as sacramental, indisoluable, and valid as any Catholic marriage. We respect Protestant marriages as much as we do Catholic ones. If this is the case, he will have to speak with the priest you want to marry you. It would serve no purpose to go to the Presbyterian denomination about this since they have less respect for their marriages than the Church does. They think a civil divorce can put asunder what God has joined. So it doesn't matter what they think.

3. When your fiance speaks to the priest who would perform your wedding, he should make sure he knows whether he or his former wife were baptized. If one or both were not baptized, that marriage is not considered sacramental. That means the process by which the Church declares it disolved is much easier. If they were both baptized he will have to request an annulment before you marry. By the way, it is not necessary for him to become Catholic to get the annulment. But a conversion will save the trouble of getting some routine dispensations later--but he should only convert if he is convinced of the truth of the Catholic Faith.

-- Catholic Observer (nospam@notmail.com), July 05, 2004.


my question is: my fiance and i are divorce.i am 25 and my fiance is 31.I am bautized, i have the confirmation. he is just bautized. we are from cuba. we need to know what we need to do to get married in a catholic church. we are practicing catholic. thanks

-- gretel quinones (cali@mail2world.com), August 25, 2004.

You need to submit both of your previous marriages to a marriage tribunal, to determine whether those marriages were valid or not. Your priest can help you get started on this. If both your previous marriages were invalid (that is, if you both receive an annulment) then you are free to marry in the Catholic Church. If one or both of you is unable to obtain an annulment then you may not marry in the Church.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), August 25, 2004.


Divorce is a civil action which dissolves an existing contract. Annulment is an ecclesial action which does not dissolve anything. It is merely states officially what is already objectively true. A valid marriage cannot be dissolved by any authority on earth. Divorce and Annulment are as different as day and night.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), August 25, 2004.

"My fiance was married for only one year but his ex-wife committed adultery so he filed for a divorce. What steps does my fiance have to ....."

What does what happened a year later have to do with anything? Your man-friend is married to his wife. Would it matter if it were 6 months or 20 years? You tell me?

What about the year he was with his wife? Did God make a mistake?

God’s plan is that marriage be a lifetime commitment. “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matt 19:6).

Fact is he is not your fiance. Fact is he is someone elses' husband. Maybe you should find your own husband ?

-- - (David@excite.com), August 25, 2004.


"Marital unfaithfulness" is a self-serving, overly specific and therefore inaccurate translation of the word used in the original text - "porneia". The word for "marital unfaithfulness" - in other words, adultery - was "moicheia", and that word is used repeatedly in scripture to mean "marital unfaithfulness". "Porneia" is much broader in scope. A more appropriate translation would be "a situation of sexual immorality". What the passage you quoted actually says is that anyone who divorces his wife, except for a situation of "porneia", commits "moicheia". What then is the "situation of sexual morality" referred to here, if it is not adultery?

This teaching was intended primarily for those who were converting to Christianity from various pagan backgrounds, many of whom were involved in marriages which were incompatible with Christian teaching, especially marriages to close relatives (incestual), marriages to multiple spouses (polygamous) and marriages to underage girls. Such "marriages" could not be recognized as valid by the Christian Church; therefore divorce from such marriages was allowed - just as it is today. However, it was allowed only becausse no valid marriage existed in the first place - just as it is today. But at that time a valid Christian marriage could not be dissolved by any means except the death of one of the spouses - just like today. Truth never changes.

You might also want to consider the practical implication of allowing divorce for reason of adultery. It would completely undermine the meaning of marriage vows, and create a wide open door for the dissolution of valid marriages. Anyone in a valid marriage who wanted out of their marriage for any reason would just find someone to have a one night stand with, and then divorce would be allowed. "What God has joined together no man must separate" would be utterly meaningless. Surely Jesus was aware of this, and would not have taught anything which would directly contradict His previous teaching on the sanctity of marriage, and undermine Christian marriage in such a fundamental and obvious way.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), August 26, 2004.


Granted there can be levels of "unfaithfulness" that do not include actual adultery. However, adultery is not something distinct from "unfaithfulness". It is just the most extreme manifestation of unfaithfulness. Since God has not allowed divorce even for this most heinous form of infidelity (as explained above), it goes without saying that He would not allow divorce for lesser forms of infidelity.

A man (or woman) might not be able to get a divorce "simply by cheating"; however cheating - repeatedly if necessary - could obviously be used as a cruel means of coercing the other party to file for divorce. And once a divorce is finalized, both parties (from the state's perspective) are free to remarry, not just the party who filed.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), August 26, 2004.


That would be true if "porneia" meant "unfaithfulness to the vows", but it does not, as explained above. This is the danger of trying to formulate your beliefs from simplistic face-value personal interpretations of english translations. There is often much more involved than meets the eye by casual reading. That's why the Church is the pillar and foundation of truth.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), August 26, 2004.


No, the Living God is the SOURCE of truth. His Church is the foundation of truth, without which the truth cannot stand. Without the foundation, the truth becomes warped and twisted, and eventually collapses into denominationalism.

"I write so that you will know how one ought to conduct himself in the household of God, which is the Church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth. (1 Timothy 3:15)

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), August 26, 2004.


There would be no point in "calling people out" unless there was somewhere to call them to. "The world" is the place people are called from. The Bible makes that clear. The Church is the place they are called to. The Bible also makes that clear. And the only Church which has any direct connection to Jesus Christ is the Church He personally founded and calls all men to, the Holy Catholic Church.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), August 26, 2004.

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