Hi everyone. My name is David and I have some questions.

First, my girlfriend, who I plan on marrying, is Roman-Catholic(baptised, confirmed, but now not really practicing). I was not baptized at birth and so far have no wish to join the Roman Catholic faith. Here is the problem. Since I am not Catholic, can we still marry in a chruch?

Also, I have a problem with baptizing my child Roman-Catholic (as per her requests) I would rather give the child the choice, as I was. If the child is born and not baptised, is there any way that the child can 'find God' later in life when they are sure it is right for them.

Thank you, and I welcome any advice/criticism/points you all have to make.

P.S the reason I eded up here was because most Catholics I talk to don't really know anything about what they belive in.

Tanks again.

-- David (wchinz@hotmail.com), August 19, 2004

Answers

Response to I am not catholic, but my girlfriend is....

Bump to New Answers to invite comment.

-- (bump@bump.bump), August 19, 2004.

Response to I am not catholic, but my girlfriend is....

Since I am not Catholic, can we still marry in a chruch?

yes, you should talk to your local priest about how to get the proper dispensations.

Also, I have a problem with baptizing my child Roman-Catholic (as per her requests) I would rather give the child the choice, as I was

that isnt a choice in this matter. your girlfriend must promise to baptize the children catholic and to do her best to give the children a catholic upbringing.

If the child is born and not baptised, is there any way that the child can 'find God' later in life when they are sure it is right for them.

certainly the child CAN find God later in life... what i suppose you should be more worried about is why you would jeopardize the soul of your child by not providing proper Christian upbringing in a world that we know pushes towards carnal desires.

-- paul h (dontSendMeMail@notAnAddress.com), August 19, 2004.

Response to I am not catholic, but my girlfriend is....

Canon Law (Church law) includes an article proscribing such marriages; but it also includes a provision whereby the local bishop can grant a dispensation from such proscription when he determines there is "just and reasonable cause", subject to certain mandatory criteria, namely ...

1) the Catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith, and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power in order that all the children be baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church

2) the other party is to be informed in good time of these promises to be made by the Catholic party, so that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and of the obligation of the Catholic party

3) both parties are to be instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage, which are not to be excluded by either contractant.

These requirements are absolute, and permission to eneter into marriage with an unbaptized person (or for that matter with a baptized non-Catholic) are contingent upon their implementation.

God has not provided that each person should "find God later in life", though many people deprived by circumstances from finding Him earlier do so. God clearly stated that parents have a solemn responsibility to raise their children in the faith, and that one cannot enter the Kingdom of God without being "born of water and the Spirit" (= baptized). Since the central purpose of earthly life is to enter the Kingdom of God, baptism therefore is not an option.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), August 19, 2004.

Well thank you for your replies.

The reason why I don't want to baptize my child is because I don't believe in the Roman Catholic faith. To me, it doesn't make sense that Hell would exist. It just doesn't feel right. I mean if we are created by a god, one would think that the god figure would want it's little creations(us) to be safe, happy, and loved for all eternity.

I don't think it would send them to a place of fire and brimstone etc.

I also don't agree on joining a religion based on fear (fear of going to hell) A god should be a god of love and faith and beauty.

That's it for now. Any comments?

-- David (wchinz@hotmail.com), August 19, 2004.

"if we are created by a god, one would think that the god figure would want it's little creations(us) to be safe, happy, and loved for all eternity."

A: Well of course He would! And He does! Now tell me, would a just and loving God drag us kicking and screaming into that safe, happy place, even if we abhored the idea of going there, and wanted only to reject that place and Him? Obviously if such a place of peace, love, and eternal happiness exists, and if we have the option of going there, then there must also be an alternative place for those who refuse to go there. And the alternative place would necessarily have to be a [place where the characteristics of the other place, the rejected place, were absent. Therefore it would have to be a place where love, peace, and happiness don't exist. And that's exactly what it is.

"I also don't agree on joining a religion based on fear (fear of going to hell) A god should be a god of love and faith and beauty."

A: Absolutely right! And He is! But again, He would be a tyrant if He forced or coerced us into accepting Him. Then it really would be a religion of fear! But He is in fact the God of love, faith, and beauty, just as you described, and He freely offers us unlimited eternal happiness. The only thing to be feared is the possibility of my own rejection of what He freely offers me. And then I would be the fool. There is great security, not fear, in knowing that nothing bad can happen to me except what I myself choose.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), August 19, 2004.

Hi David,

I think you would agree with me that one of God's greatest gift to his children is the gift of "freedom to choose". It is this freedom to choose which we cherish and love that have consequences. So the consequences of taking the wrong path is - misery and sufferings for ourselves and others. In that sense, misery and sufferings is not brought about by our loving God. It is brought about because of our freedom to choose. The freedom to choose is paramount to our very existance. I don't think you want to feel like a robot where every action undertaken by you is calculated and programmed. In that sense what is the point of being alive?

that is my 2 cents worth. :)

- Anthony

-- Anthony (ajyong@singnet.com.sg), August 19, 2004.