I am a Catholic and was married to a Methodist in a Catholic ceremony. My ex-husband converted to Catholicism a few years prior to our divorce, and has since remarried a non-Catholic in a non-Catholic ceremony. I have not remarried, but would expect that I'd need to annul the marriage prior to being married in the church again. I am raising our 3 children Catholic and I'd like to understand the status of our marriage in the eyes of the church--for myself and so I can explain it to my girls.

Are their dad and I still married in the eyes of the church? Would I need an annulment if I want to be married in the church again? Does the fact that he was not a Catholic at the time of our marriage make a difference? Does his conversion to Catholicism change things in any way?

Also, what does his remarriage mean to his standing as a Catholic? Two of my daughters received sacraments this year (1st Communion and Confirmation) and he received Communion at both ceremonies. I believe he receives it when he takes them to mass on Sundays as well. Should he still be receiving communion, given his remarriage? Does our divorce and/or his remarriage mean I should no longer be receiving communion? Please help, this is all very confusing!!

-- Karen (kquinln@hotmail.com), October 11, 2004

Answers

If your marriage to your ex-husband were declared null, you would have been notified. So as his prior marriages is not declared null he is living in a state of habitual mortal sin with his illicit remarriage. He should NOT be recieving the Eucharist. I don't know what you can do about that. It is a terrible offense against our Lord.

Unless your marriage to this man is declared null, you are married to him in the eyes of the Church. You would need a declaration of nullity before you could re-marry. In the meantime, you are free, and encouraged, to partake in all the Sacraments. I encourage you to do so. If your marriage to that man is actually valid, you cannot get a legitimate decree of nullity. But God promises you the sacramental grace through Holy Matrimony to live a happy and fulfilling life, while also keeping all His commandments.

It is important that you raise your children to understand and respect the sacraments as well. This is your second most important job now. Your own holiness is the only thing more important, and keeping this will also help you with your girls. Pray for your ex- husband too.

I will keep you and your daughters in prayer so that you may be helped to discern the truth of God's will for you. Please pray for me too. I am in a similar situation as yourself, having three sons of nearly the same age as your daughters.

-- Pat Delaney (pat@patdelaney.net), October 12, 2004.