Good morning Ya'll ! I recieved a telephone call from my sister last night and she asked me some questions that I wasn't sure how to answer, so I thought I'd ask some of Ya'll. First let me give you a little bit of background. We were both raised in a Southern Baptist home and while vows of marriage are supposed to be forever, many people divorce and nobody ever really says much about it. Matter of fact you can remarry in the church and now days become a deacon of the church where as a long time ago you couldn't. Anyway, she married a guy while in college and they were married for almost two years and divorced. Then she came home and later married again. This time it lasted almost five years. Ok, she got married a third time for about six months. She has, thankfully, been unmarried for 8 years now, and she has changed her life and has met a really good man. He's Catholic and wants to marry her. She took RCIA classes 2 years ago at his church to become Catholic (I only knew this as of last night, and I am so happy about it !)She hasn't taken Euchrist however. My question is this: The first time she married she married in her husbands back yard but was married by the Baptist minister. The second time she was married by a justice of the peace in the back of the man's hardware store and the third time at the court house by the same JP. The way I understand it, and correct me if I am wrong, because a minister married her the first time it is a marriage that is blessed therefore she would need an annulment, but the second two are not recognized as marriages by the Church and she would be considered to have been living in sin and need confession and a civil divorce to make it legal under the law. What do I tell her? Bless her heart, for the first time in years she seems truly happy. Finding Christ in His very own Church and finding a man who will definately be a good husband to her (She always had a way of picking abusive losers before.)is something even I have hoped for her. Have a good day ya'll !

Thanks and glory be to God!

-- Suzanne (james-betsy@sbcglobal.net), December 03, 2004

Answers

Bump....

-- (bump@bumpbump.com), December 03, 2004.

Need more facts about the first marriage, and what is recognized as a legitimate marrige among Southern Baptists. Then might need even more facts about the first husband and your sister. It does not sound like a straight-forward documentary case and may require full consideration as a non-documentary case.

-- Pat Delaney (patrickrdelaney@yahoo.com), December 03, 2004.

As far as I know most protestant churches including Baptists see any marriage as valid or legitamate. The minister would not have married them otherwise, so I believe that the first marriage is legitamate in the eyes of The Church because a minister married them even though they were not in a church building. However, the other two marriages were not in a church NOR did they get married by a minister, but by a justice of the peace.

As far as more information on her and him....She was pregnant when they married and he had just joined the Navy. He went off to training and she gave birth while he was away. Then they moved to South Carolina to the Naval Base and when she came home from work to find him in bed with another woman a few times and she said to heck with this! She packed up their daughter who was two at the time and caught a plane and came home. Somehow she ended up in these two other marriages that were even worse. The second marriage ended with him shooting her and then himself. She never pressed charges and it was written up as an accident. When they went to court to finalize the divorce and arrange custody, he claimed she was a practicing lesbian and the judge awarded him custody of their two children. When he got custody of his children her fisrt husband did the same thing and that same stupid judge awarded him custody of his child even though he hadn't paid any support or visited her in three years. She, not being in her right mind I don't think, married again and he was arrested a few months later for being the driver in a drive by shooting that killed two adults and a kid. Turns out he was in a gang. So she hasn't had it too easy in the "man" department and she has finally found a good man who seems to actually care about her and makes her happy....shucks he make ME happy ! Have a good day Ya'll!

Thanks and glory be to God!

-- Suzanne (james-betsy@sbcglobal.net), December 06, 2004.

bump

-- (bump@bump.bump), December 11, 2004.

Thats a a tough life your sister has had.

The later marriages will be straightforward documentary cases. The first marriage is not a simple case. There may be multiple grounds worthy of investigation. The difficult question will be to find the most appropriate ground and gathering the evidence to support it. She would need to talk to a good priest and then submit her petition to a tribunal.

-- Pat Delaney (patrickrdelaney@yahoo.com), December 13, 2004.