My husband and I were both raised in the Methodist Church. We both drifted away from religion long before we were married by a judge. (This is the second marriage for us both.) I have become very interested in the Catholic faith and am deeply moved to convert. I am currently in RCIA classes and completing the paperwork for an annulment of my first marriage.

My husband, a deist, supports me in my decision to convert, but wants to be left out of it completely himself. Therefore, he has no interest in annulling his first marriage. Furthermore, I only just learned that there is great expense in connection with the annulment process. He will certainly not agree to that for himself, and possibly not even for me.

Under these circumstances, is it even possible for me to be confirmed? To ever participate in the Eucharist? Should I even bother finishing the RCIA classes or the annulment process myself? I have been acting as a practicing Catholic (sans communion) for a year now.

-- Amy (anonymous@anonymous.com), January 20, 2005

Answers

Compared to comparable actions in civil courts, the cost of an annulment case is almost negligible (eg it's a lot less than what you paid the courts and your lawyer for your divorce). If you have genuine difficulty meeting the cost of a Tribunal hearing, the diocese should be able to help you with the expenses. If your husband's "support" of your decision to convert is more than just lip-service, then he will appreciate that you want to be married in the Church and that he will have to help facilitate this.

-- Steve (55555@aol.com), January 21, 2005.

Hi Amy, I understand your anxiety. My husband and I both had to undergo annulments from prior marriages -- a very long and arduous task.

Were you or your husband's first marriages to Catholics? If so, were you married in the church?

-- Gail (rothfarms@socket.net), January 21, 2005.

We were each married the first time in Methodist Churches. He and I married before a judge.

-- Amy (anonymous@anonymous.com), January 21, 2005.