I want to marry a man who is Catholic. He has been baptized and been confirmed. I have not been either of these. I do not have a religious background but do believe in God. What do I need to do in order to marry this man? Do I need to be baptized? If so, how long is the process and what exactly does it entail? What else do I need to do?

-- Laurie Greenberg (laurie_anne82@yahoo.com), January 30, 2005

Answers

Laurie,

Your best and quickest most reliable bet would be to contact your Parish Priest and set up an apointment to discuss exactly what when how etcetera.

-- Daniel Hawkenberry (dlm@catholic.org), January 30, 2005.

First, the direct answer:

You do not need to become Catholic in order to marry a man who is Catholic.

Second, the (somewhat technical) details:

As part of the pre-marriage interview and preparation with a parish priest, you would need to obtain a dispensation from the local Bishop for "disparity of worship" (a marriage between a Catholic and an unbaptized person). To obtain such permission:

(1) "the catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith, and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power in order that all the children be baptised and brought up in the Catholic Church."

(2) "the other party is to be informed in good time of these promises to be made by the Catholic party, so that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promises and of the obligation of the Catholic party;"

(3) "both parties are to be instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage, which are not to be excluded by either [party]" (Canon 1125)

Third, some pastoral advice:

I would encourage you to pray, to get to know Jesus Christ, to attend Mass, to learn more about the Catholic faith, and to consider becoming Catholic.

The Lord wants to bless you and your future marriage through the sacramental life of the Catholic Church. A marriage between two baptized persons is a sacrament, and that bond of unity is strengthened by Christ Himself, who gives special graces to help you to live out your commitment to love each other for the rest of your lives.

I'd also recommend you read a great book about Catholic Marriage:

Good News About Sex and Marriage by Christopher West

http://www.christopherwest.com/store.asp

-- Fr. Terry Donahue, CC (terrydonahue@usa.net), February 03, 2005.

Dear Laurie Greenberg; With no disrespect or invasion of your privacy intended:
Are you of Jewish descent? My question is raised because of your last name.

If you are, we'd love to inform you of the great spiritual regard we have for you, while suggesting how greatly you may benefit from marriage to your Catholic fiance.

You may never have been told so before; but Catholics revere and honor thousands of holy Jews gong back in human history; and most of all those who followed Jesus Christ. Your heritage (assuming you're Jewish) is no impediment to entering the Catholic Church. It couldn't be more pleasing to Almighty God; He is Christ's (Messias') Father from eternity. Jesus is descended in the flesh from the greatest king of antiquity, David. His Virgin Mother Mary is the holiest woman of Jewish blood (or any other) who ever lived. The Catholic faith fulfills every promise made by God to His chosen people. Only through Jesus Christ Our Lord.

We congratulate you for having been brought the potential of marrying into Jesus Christ's Church. You are being CALLED by God to the faith.

This is so, indeed; whether or not you're Jewish. You still have this wonderful potential; but it's especially joyful because you might become a new Jewish convert. We'll definitely be praying here for you.

-- eugene c. chavez (loschavez@pacbell.net), February 03, 2005.