Couldn't resist posting these :-) :-)!!

1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

3. A  jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but  don't start anything."

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a salted.

5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A  beer please and one for the road."

8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

9. "Doc, I can't  stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."  "Is it common?"  Doc says, "It's Not Unusual."

10. Two cows  standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was  artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

11. An invisible man marries an  invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

12. A man takes  his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything  you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he  picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says,  "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No,  because he's really heavy."

13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers  the other day but I couldn't find any.

14. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

15. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

16 What do you call a fish with no eyes?  A fsh.

17. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

Polish Joke...

A Polish immigrant goes to the Wisconsin Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver's license. He has to take an Eye Test. The optician shows him a card with the letters  'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z'. "Can you read this?", the optician  asks.  "Read it?" the Polish man replies, "I know the guy."

-- Anonymous, February 03, 2005

Answers

Thanks, Marcia!! I needed those - we've gone from winter to mud season; in the space of a few hours!

-- Anonymous, February 04, 2005

Those are adorable!

-- Anonymous, February 05, 2005

Why Wisconsin? Are we the only ones with a Polish population? Come to think of it, I think I know that guy too! :-P

-- Anonymous, February 05, 2005

To tell you the truth, Joy, I never even paid much attention to the state. Don't know why it was Wisconsin :-)!!!

I think my favorites were #8 and #10! Glad you folks liked 'em!!!

BTW...Polly, we went from winter to spring here in the course of about two days. Today it was 50* and bright sunshine!! Not much snow left....but "snud" season is right around the corner :-)!

-- Anonymous, February 05, 2005

I chuckled at a few too. Didn't get 16 for a second duh. Still have snow here but it's starting to melt. Isn't it funny when fall came, we thought 40 degrees was cold. Now it's a heat wave.

-- Anonymous, February 06, 2005

John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender says to him, "Why the long face?"

Thanks...these gave me a big chuckle!!!

-- Anonymous, February 07, 2005